Tag Archive | "the Universe"

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An Indian priest predicted my love life

Posted on 30 May 2010 by Dr. Karen

Dear Dr. Karen,

An Indian priest told me I would never have a long lasting relationship with a man.  I’m tired of having my heart broken. I’m just wondering; what is the purpose of trying when you know it won’t last?


Dear Mona,

Having your heart broken is indeed tiring if it is something that happens over and over again, and you do not feel you have grown or benefited from the experience. On the other hand, the “most joyful” people on this earth are willing to “try” over and over again and possibly get their hearts broken. Why? Because it is in the journey that they learn the most amazing things about themselves and others.

So the direct answer to your question of “What is the purpose of trying when you know it won’t last?” would be:

“because I learn something new and wonderful about myself and others each time I try…and I become closer to my true Self”

Mona, even though this is the “answer” to your question, we’ll have to go deeper because the actual question you are asking isn’t what you truly want to know, is it?

Here are some other questions for you to ask yourself:

1.  If the Indian priest, whom I trust, tells me that I will never have a long lasting relationship, is that really my fate? Can I not change that fate?

2.  Am I willing to relegate my responsibility to co-creating what I want to another person who tells me it is impossible?

3.  Would I be willing to risk having my “heartbroken” if I knew that it was just part of the journey towards manifesting my ideal relationship?

4.  If my capacity for joy and peace is proportional to my willingness to experience pain and suffering, would I be open to experience what I need to learn in order to get to the other side?

Here’s the thing, Mona. You clearly want something different from what the Indian priest told you, right? So you have a decision to make. Those who have been studying and training the Law of Attraction will tell you that your desire is a powerful magnet to co-creating your reality with the Universe.

Your choices: You decide that you believe whatever the Indian priest says and you cannot change your fate OR you decide that what he/she said was just one perspective but that you choose to believe you can create a different reality.

It is up to you. I, for one, would prefer to create my own destiny. Of course, what we co-create is not in a vacuum…the outcome has to be in the highest good of all in order for it to happen. So in your situation, unless you can come up with a really GREAT reason that the world would NOT benefit from you being in a happy relationship, (maybe there is one, but I can’t think of any) then there is a possibility that you can achieve what you want.

Does that make sense?

Besides, what the Indian priest was “reading” when you saw him/her was your energy field at that moment in time. The energy you emanated was one of lack and disappointment, so it makes sense that your “future” was headed for the same energetic imprint. He/she was correct in their “reading”.

However, your “future” can change moment to moment depending on the average energetic field you are emanating. So to change your “future” you need to shift your current energy field to a higher vibration from one of lack and disappointment to one of gratitude and abundance.

Thus, even though the priest may have been “correct” in his reading at the time, it can become completely wrong if you jump to a new energy stream. And to jump to a new energy stream, all you need to do is start growing.

If all of us do not grow, do you know what we do? We die. Growing or evolving is part of our human journey. Plants are either growing or dying. They don’t stay still. Get it?

So if you’re getting the “same old thing” happening to you in relationships, it either means you haven’t learned from your past relationships and shifted into a higher energy state, or that the perception you have chosen does not serve you in getting you what you want.

Here is a quick exercise you can do immediately to start shifting a perception that doesn’t serve you. Instead of dumping all of your previously heartbreaking relationships into the “that was a waste of time and the only good thing it did was to hurt me” bucket, I want you to make a list of all the GIFTS you were given as a result of those relationships….and I mean EACH AND EVERY ONE.

Are you stumped yet? Or are you excited to start growing?

Can you not appreciate ANY of the gifts? Because there are many. To the extent you can “see” those gifts, you will shift into higher energy state, thereby moving towards (as opposed to away from) manifesting what you want.

Here’s a summary:

  • You can choose to see your past as just “hurts” or as gifts from which you can grow and move closer to what you wish to manifest
  • The priest will be “right” about his prediction if you do not consciously decide that he is not, (you take back the responsibility for co-creating your life instead of giving it to others)
  • You have the power to co-create your reality even it is different from the one the priest told you about
  • You need to move into a higher energy state in order to achieve a reality you have not been able to create previously
  • Working on your personal growth is the way to move into a higher energy state


Mona, I challenge you to write down (you can use the comment section below the blog post) every gift you can appreciate from your past “heartbreaking” relationships, so you can move forward. This is just a start. Often we need help in shifting our energy. What you can do is get support from someone who has already accomplished what you wish to accomplish and learn from that person.

I believe in you.


Dr. Karen Kan


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Dear Dr. Karen: I’m working hard on my self-esteem, but I just got dumped!

Posted on 11 June 2009 by Dr. Karen

Dear Dr. Karen

Thank you for all the information you have available for attracting my dream partner. I know I have a weakness in attracting healthy relationships and my soulmate. I was not raised in a healthy environment, nor was there any positive role models available. I’ve been working on these emotional issues, and I believe that I am making significant progress. Even though it is taking a very long time for my soulmate to manifest.

Right now I am somewhat depressed. I took approx. 7 years off from dating guys ( I was consistently attracting the same type of negative people.) I worked real hard on my self esteem, and forgiveness and loving myself, etc. However, recently I met a gentlemen with most of the qualities that I had on my list. After about a week of dating, which I really enjoyed, he was a true gentlemen etc. He abrutly told me that things are not going to work out between us. I was so devastated! After so long, I met someone I really liked and it ended that quickly. Can you shed some light if any as to where I went wrong.

Thanks. Candis

Dear Candis,

First of all, you are welcome. Secondly, you are in the perfect place to make great strides in your relationship life! Why do I say this? Because you are at least AWARE of the relationship environment you grew up in, that you didn’t have great positive role models and that you’ve been working on these issues.

Congratulations for putting the time and effort to work on yourself. It is only those people who are willing to grow themselves from where they were to where they want to be that will be truly happy and successful. That being said, you are still probably wondering why after all this work, the next gentleman you dated just abruptly dumped you! Afterall, you really liked this guy and didn’t see it coming at all did you? And you are wondering what did I do wrong?

I’m here to coach you that you are asking the wrong question. It needn’t be what did I do wrong? But instead, what does this situation give me the opportunity to grow into?

By asking what did I do wrong, you are owning up to the fact that on some level, you really do feel you are not adequate enough. Get it? In other words, the Universe was giving you a loving test. Here, let me be the Universe’s voice for a moment:

Dear One, We are giving you this opportunity for a reason. We love you. We want you to recognize how undeniably lovable you are to. And for this reason, you will experience rejection, so you will have the opportunity to feel that despite the rejection, you are still whole. You get to experience rejection and not take it personally for once. You get to experience the freedom of moving on, self-esteem intact. For this great gift, we give you this experience. Because we love you. You are perfect as you are.

So your experience with rejection was not proof that all your hard work has been a waste. Instead, your experience as an OPPORTUNITY for you to choose a higher perception that serves you..for you to experience that despite what happens on the outside world, you are at peace on in inside world. The Law of Attraction states that what you resonate on the inside is what you see on the outside.

That gentleman did you a favor. He just mirrored to you just where you are at on the self-esteem scale. It is OK. Learn from this. You are doing just fine. Keep up your study. Get a support team, a coach, a counselor. They can be helpful mirrors to you.

Once you’ve dealt with rejection to the point where it is no longer a big deal, your next breakthrough will come.


Dr. Karen Kan

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Dear Dr. Karen: What ACTION is required to manifest my new soulmate?

Posted on 17 May 2009 by Dr. Karen

Hi Dr. Kan,

Recently I read somewhere that our thoughts bring us what we seek, but it is only through action that we receive it.

Over the past few weeks I have made my soulmate list and meditations. And now the Universe has brought someone in my life that I can see as a potential life partner. So, in this case what action would I have to take?

Thanks, Ali

Dear Ali,

You’ve asked a really interesting question Ali and that is why I’m addressing it in my blog. One of the “criticism” of the movie, The Secret, is that many who watched it erroneously thought that if they just did the “wishing” part, that what they wanted would just magically fall into their lap.

Now, it doesn’t mean that it isn’t true some of the time, but the nuances of manifesting could not be included in such a short movie. Basically, I’m here to teach you that the BIGGER the outcome you wish for (in your perception), the  BIGGER the ACTION you will likely need to take in order to receive it.

For example, if you are wishing to manifest a cup of coffee from someone, it probably isn’t going to take a lot action to get it, because a cup of coffee is “not a big deal” to most people. On the other hand, manifesting a dream love partner IS a big deal to most people and in their perception, is challenging, difficult or rare. Thus bigger action is required often to fully manifest the dream. And big action often means stretching your comfort zone or your belief structure.

Congrats to you for taking the time to make your soulmate list and for committing to your meditations (for manifesting)! That is already an ACTION that many people don’t even know to take! These are the first two steps to manifesting your ideal love partner from my eBook, Creating Your Fairytale Love Life. If you haven’t picked up a copy, I’d highly recommend it because the later chapters deal with obstacles and how to overcome them.

There are many actions you can take now that you made your list and have done your embodying (meditations). The next step is “acting as if” your soulmate has or will arrive shortly. How will you make space in your life for this person? Have you become all those qualities yourself that you have on that soulmate list? If not, you’d better get cracking!

On a practical level, since you have attracted a prospect that might meet your specifications, your next action step is to see if the glove fits. Get to know this person without attachment to the outcome that he/she is THE one you are looking for.

Have the curiousity to discover who he/she REALLY is, not who you want them to be. I’ve made myself miserable in the past by jumping the gun and being blind to the fact that the person I attracted WASN’T my ideal partner.

Keep in mind that sometimes that even though our soulmates will sense a connection right away, sometimes one of you has some personal growth work to do before you are ready for each other. Check out the Law of Attraction in Love Radio show I did with Keith Leon (especially the first one) on this subject!

Lastly, just take the logical NEXT STEP. You don’t have to know three steps ahead. You don’t have to know if you will be right or wrong. The more attached you are to being “correct” the less you will enjoy the mystery and wondrousness of life. So the next logical step in your case is to get to know the other person better. It’s that simple.


Dr. Karen

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Dear Dr. Karen: The Law of Attraction Worked for Everything In My Life Except Love…Why?

Posted on 06 January 2009 by Dr. Karen

Dear Dr. Karen,


I have been reading about the Law of Attraction for over three years. I have been using techniques from Brian Tracy, Jack Canfield etc. Im very successful as a lawyer, I have my dream house, my dream job and the greatest friends ever. I look great, I work out a lot and Im told to be very attractive. STILL, I have been single for over six years and what ever I do or I don’t do, I don’t seem to be able to attract my dream partner – or a partner at all, he he. I cant figure out what Im doing wrong. I love my life, but I’m 38 years old and I long for a partner for a lifetime and to have a family. Why is the law of attraction not working in my love life but in all other areas in my life?…I love your homepage, thank you for all the free stuff. Best regards from Iceland.




Dear Linda,


You’re welcome! Thank you for writing. First of all let’s celebrate your successes! You have your dream home, your dream job and amazing friends. Whoo hoo!!


So why am I focusing on celebrating first?


Because the Universe responds to what we are grateful for AND what we celebrate, we get more of! In your case, I think you’re well on your way to manifesting your dream partner. Yes, it is taking longer than you would like, but let me ask you this:


Have you spent as much time learning from relationship experts and gurus as much as you have from your other “success” mentors and gurus? Just wondering. Energy flows where you attention goes. So how much energy have you put into examining your relationships (including relationships with self, with parents, with former significant others etc.) and how much energy have you put into learning MORE about being more present in relationships, how to communicate more effectively, how to resolve conflict and differences when they inevitably come up?


If you have spent lots of time studying the relationship arena, then hearty congrats! If not, then I would direct your already open mind to learning “new” skills in the area of relationships. Not because there is anything wrong with you, but because you will be showing yourself and the Universe that you really mean business! You’ll do whatever it takes to manifest your dream!


My sense is that you are very close to manifesting your dream partner. Even James Arthur Ray, an esteemed teacher from the movie The Secret, mentions in his book Harmonic Wealth, that he hasn’t manifested his ideal partner yet….but he is confident he will.


The timing of the Universe is impeccable. The moment you almost “give up” (let go of attachment that is), is the moment where you’ll be pleasantly surprised!


Keep going. You’re on the right track.



Dr. Karen Kan

P.S. you may also benefit from private coaching. The last two single people who I privately coached for only three session both manifested their partners very quickly…




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Dear Dr. Karen: How Do I Manifest My Crush’s Attention?

Posted on 15 June 2008 by Dr. Karen

“Dear Dr. Karen, I’m just wondering – I currently have a crush on someone and want to know how to attract him? Sometimes I do get negative when I fail to get a response from him. These last few days he hasn’t been online and I’m starting to notice my own negative thinking when this happens (because he was online everyday prior to this). I know this is wrong and  I try to think positive, but how do I work to attract him?” Sultan

Dear Sultan,

A couple of things I would like to clarify for you to make your life easier:

1. Negative thoughts are not “bad”, they are part of human existence. It is impossible to banish all negative thoughts and although you may have heard from teachings of the Law of Attraction to focus on positive thoughts, don’t beat yourself up for having negative thoughts. It is when you beat yourself up for having negative thoughts that you GIVE THEM MORE POWER!

Instead, when you have negative thoughts, just notice them and let them pass without judgment. This isn’t easy at first, but after a while, you can even make a game of it. If you notice a negative thought, you can say to your mind, “thank you for sharing, cancel/pass” and then automatically train yourself to think of something else, something positive or supportive, or distract yourself altogether.

2. Thinking “positive” and creating a relationship using the law of attraction can be very different things. Please read my blog entry on “the law of attraction is NOT positive thinking”. So when you are attempting to create a relationship with this man you have a crush on, what exactly are you wanting in a relationship? You need to send a clear message to the Universe what you want, not who you want. There is a difference. If you ask the Universe to give you someone who gives you lots of loving affection, who is humorous and energetic, the Universe will find that person for you. But if you have a preconceived idea of what your “crush” is like in a relationship and he doesn’t fit into your deepest wants and desires (as the Universe would already know this), the Universe will not comply with your conscious wish attract this particular man. Know what I mean?

The man you have a crush on may or may not be a suitable partner for you. And maybe he’d be suitable for a short time only so you can learn a lesson. Personally, I believe in being honest and straightforward. I’m not a fan of mind-games. In other words, ask this man if he’d be interested in dating you. Tell him why you like him and that you are interested in him, and see what he has to say. If he disappears off the face of the earth and you never hear from him again, you have your answer from the Universe – “he’s not the best one for you right now”, and you will have cleared valuable space for a better relationship to come along.

On the other hand, he might be really happy about it, and you’ve saved yourself a lot of wasted time guessing how he feels. The best relationships I’ve ever witnessed and have been in were relationships where there was no guessing. Each individual in the relationship was honest and upfront and willing to be vulnerable (in their honesty).

In my humble opinion, life is too short to dance around the issue. Ask for what you want. If what you think you want doesn’t match with your unconscious spiritual desires, you’ll know very quickly! The Universe is there to support you in every way with miracles.

3. Manifesting laws can be summarized like this: your thoughts lead to your feelings, which lead to your actions, which leads to your results. If you are too scared to be upfront with this man about your attraction to him, what does that say about your thoughts? The Universe will help you but you will have to take action, which means having courage to undergo whatever happens after you take action. Just believing that whatever happens is for your own highest good is a wonderful way to live a happy peaceful life!

Let us know what happens after you take action.


Dr. Karen Kan

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The Mysterious Ways the Universe Works!

Posted on 02 June 2008 by Dr. Karen

My life is a perfect example of how one can intend something and have a result that is unexpected yet still wonderful – the law of attraction at work! My partner and I have been working on deepening our relationship and for me to be more in my feminine energy and James to be more in his masculine energy. Well, the Universe answered our request!

I’m pregnant!

Did we plan it? Nope. Are we thrilled? Yes! Although I wasn’t planning for a family for a couple of years since I was heavily into my new adventures online, I am gracefully accepting this amazing gift from Spirit. We’ve received so many gifts in the form of congratulations and well-wishes from our family and friends…wow, it is such a wonderful experience! My due date is January 23rd.

So how can I teach you something from all this? Well, I’d like to start by reminding you that you don’t have full control of what your life will bring. Yet, it is important to set intentions. The Universe knows the quickest, fastest most efficient way to accomplish your intention…and like in my case, it can come about as a complete and utter surprise!

The other learning here, is that it is important to ASSUME that everything that happens is for your highest good. My “lower” self would be tempted to go into fear and anxiety. The “mind frick” as my teacher Harv Eker would say, starts to create havoc if we let it! Negative thoughts like, “how are we going to afford a baby?”, and “how will this affect my ability to do my work and my passion?” come up. Although it is natural for these thoughts to come up, I am training my mind to let them go. I’m practicing staying in the present, and to TRUST in the Universe to take care of us.

Letting go and having total trust is challenging indeed, especially if you are anything like me (a control-freak!), but it is exactly what the doctor ordered!

Now, this week, I’m actually starting to feel the effects of being in the first trimester of pregnancy, which means I’m tired. So to honor my body and to take care of myself, I’m deferring my next tele-workshop/teleseminar for a couple of weeks. My apologies to anyone that was waiting anxiously for them…they will come!


Dr. Karen Kan

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