Well, my dream partner James and I had a very interesting and amazing experience visiting his family over the Christmas holidays. He was prepared for some “personal growth” and I was there to support him. There were some challenging times, like the times where he was treated like he was as a child (tough for all of us when we go back to our childhood “homes”) and at the same time, it was a wonderful way to experience how we’ve all changed.
In fact, there was a moment when his parents said to him (in an unapproving way, I suppose), “James, you’ve changed!” Gone are the days where James would be afraid to speak his mind. And James answered, “Yes, I have changed. And I like how I’ve changed!”
Interesting how our old childhood patterns of relating to our parents always seem to repeat themselves UNTIL one party decides to change the system. We call it “chaos”. Or at least temporary chaos. Cool thing is…chaos settles down after a time into a new order. And we got to see a new found respect growing between mature adults.
So why am I telling you all this?
Well, I’m treating you like family. I want to let you in on how things REALLY are instead of the fantasy world you may project upon me or others. Family dynamics can be very challenging, and if you are willing to be PRESENT and OPEN to miracles happening by changing how you see your parents, you’ll suddenly notice that they’ve changed how they perceive you. And get this…if you can heal your relationships with your family as a single person, it will GREATLY enhance your ability to heal any relationship in the future, including manifesting your dream partner.
Like the time when James was rather frustrated that his father wouldn’t let him drive the 1974 Corvette Stingray he had promised him. His father generously gave his car to James and showed it to him over Christmas. It was his intention that James move it to where we live some time in the summer. But it was Christmas and James was VERY attached to driving it THEN, not later.
His father woudn’t budge. “No, you can’t drive it now. You can drive it later when you have the car moved to NY.” James was infuriated at the time. He felt his father was being unreasonable and controlling. There was absolutely no logical reason why he couldn’t let James just try out the car…even for a few minutes!
James was enlightened enough to know he had to leave the house and “process” his frustration. So the two of us went for a walk and he asked me for guidance. I gave him a lot of credit to be aware enough to know he needed someone to give him an objective perspective.
This is what I shared with him. “James, I understand your frustration. You can’t understand why your dad won’t let you drive the car and you feel it is his way of controlling you, right?”
“Yes, that’s right”, James answered.
“Well, let me share with you what I just read in Pema Chodren’s book, The Places that Scare You. Pema said that it is those moments of frustration and trouble that are the golden moments of our enlightenment and growth. So USE this situation to your advantage. Use the tools you have been taught. From the way I see things, The Universe is giving you a message and here is it:
“James, the feeling you are feeling right now is a RED FLAG that you are feeling ATTACHED to the outcome. You are attached to driving that car before you leave and go back home to NY. Feel that feeling and understand that it will teach you when you are no longer on your PATH.”
James looked up at me. He understood completely what I was saying. He had gotten ATTACHED to the outcome. He knows that he cannot manifest what he wants when he is attached. Immediately he began feeling the uncomfortable feelings in his body so he could memorize what it felt like to be attached. It wasn’t pleasant. Now he knows that whenever he feels those feelings again, it will be his RED FLAG that he isn’t on his PATH (the one he intended).
We talked a little bit more, walked a little and by the time we went back to his father’s house, James was at total peace with not having the opportunity to drive that car during this little visit to his parents. He was totally “OK” with not having his way. He was at peace.
As we entered the house, his father was there to great us. The first thing he said was, “Do you really want to drive that car?” and James answered excitedly, “Sure!”. And his dad gave him the keys, right then and there…
As James’s astonished and happy face turned to see my reaction, I just winked and said, (of at“See what miracles happen when you let go?” The Universe was now giving him the message: “Ya done good kid!”
Can you apply this to YOUR life?
Ask yourself: Where am I not at peace? where do I need to let go to have peace? what outcome am I attached to? where do I feel tension in my life?
See if you can feel the difference in your body when you feel attached and when you don’t. That’s the key.
So that’s my teaching story for this month. For those of you who have written in letters, I’ll be answering quite a few on Monday’s Blog Talk Radio Show at 12 noon EST U.S. You can call me live during the show at 1-347-945-6313 to ask a question or just tune into www.blogtalkradio.com/drkaren
I’m sorry I can’t answer everyone’s question right away and if I haven’t answered yours and it has been while, it could very well be that I’ve written the answer several times already on my blog or on the radio show. I do my best not to repeat myself too many times so that others will have a chance to get their question answered. I hope you understand.
Blessings,
Dr. Karen
P.S. James was kind enough to give me permission to tell his story for the purposes of teaching, so send him a virtual hug for that generosity!
P.P.S. I’m extending the special for the Law of Attraction Intensive Home Study Course so you still get the bonuses if you purchase the course soon! Enjoy!
