Tag Archive | "relationship"

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Did you miss the 5 Spiritual Body Types Webinar?

Posted on 30 August 2012 by Dr. Karen

I have great news for you! In case you missed the AMAZING webinar on the 5 Spiritual Body Types (The Creator, The Lover, The Supporter, The Achiever, and The Challenger), the replay is now available! Click HERE to access. If you did listen to the webinar and loved it as much as I did and want to join me in the six week class, you still can! There are a few spots open.

The class is $97 and is every Monday starting September 10th from 7-8pm Eastern. And of course, if you can’t make it live, the replays are available to you to watch anytime and you can also submit questions ahead of each webinar. Cool or cool? 

If you would LOVE to know how to relate to “difficult” people better, or just to have more joyful relationships, then this webinar series is for you. Just check it out HERE before there isn’t anymore room. My healer teacher, Pat, arranged this special class just for my subscribers and patients, so take this opportunity to get amazing training at a reduced cost!

Dr. Karen

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Why singles would want to know how to heal a marriage

Posted on 27 August 2012 by Dr. Karen

Did you get a chance to listen to the radio show I did with Dr. Deb Hirschorn on Healing Marriage based on her upcoming book, The Healing is Mutual: Marriage Empowerment Tools? If you didn’t, please listen to the replay here:  http://www.blogtalkradio.com/drkaren/2012/08/27/heal-your-marriage
Everyone comes into marriage with great expectation, not knowing that they also come into marriage with their old wounds. Understanding that marriage can be an opportunity to heal those wounds makes the journey joyful and rewarding. In the show, we talked about:
  • how divorce can be a healing opportunity rather than a court battle
  • how “funny” name-calling can be “put downs” that really hurt the other person and what to say if you’re on the receiving end of these
  • the difference between being “sensitive” and being “victimized”
  • how you get your partner interested in healing your relationship when you’re the only one interested
We got lots of great feedback for this show, so please take the time to listen in, even if you have a happy marriage. If you’re single, it’s just as important that you learn these things as well BEFORE you get married.
For listeners, you can get a free eBook on Signs Your Marriage Needs Help by texting your name and email address to 516-628-6077 or going tohttp://thehealingismutual.com/gift.

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Secrets of Happy Couples

Posted on 29 January 2011 by Dr. Karen

Wow! What a busy month. And there is more to come. I am so excited to bring you the most amazing teachers in the field of relationships and Law of Attraction.

Monday, I’ve added an extra Law of Attraction in Love radio show segment called Secrets of Happy Couples. My colleague Kim Olver has written an amazing book documenting the common threads that all happy couples seem to have. She interviewed relationship experts, including me, as well as conducting her own research on “real” happy couples.

Whether you’re single or already in a relationship that could use a “boost”, I feel that Kim Olver’s book is one of those special books that will be known a must-read book for anyone looking to have a happy fruitful relationship. It was written to help people in committed relationships find happiness within themselves and with each other. It is the second in the InsideOut Empowerment Series.

So join me Monday as I interview Kim Olver. Details are below:

January 31, Monday, 12 NN EST or 9 AM PST

Call in number: (347) 945-6313 and then punch in “1” so I will see you in the moderator queue (so I can un-mute your line)

The show will be posted on www.blogtalkradio.com/drkaren, and you can use/download this afterwards

Dr. Karen Kan

PS there are a few days left for our eBook special! Purchase my Creating Your Fairytale Love Life eBook and receive special bonuses: see the details on our special secret link: www.lawofattractioninlove.com/holiday. The special is until January 31st.

PPS Stay tuned! I have a very important announcement on an upcoming free course for singles who wish to attract their soulmates!

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Monday’s Radio Show: How to Create a Magical Relationship

Posted on 01 January 2010 by Dr. Karen

Join me for Monday’s Law of Attraction in Love Radio Show: How to Create a Magical Relationship. I’m interviewing a fantastic woman who I met at a personal development training recently. Her name is Carele Belanger (pronounced the French way for all you folks from France and Canada!)

After many courses in the holistics field, in 2005 Carele Belanger earned her certificate as Master Practictioner NLP, (Neuro-Linguistic Programming). As an Achievement Coach, she guides her female clients to totally love themselves, stand up for themselves and to embody their Goddess within.

She believes that YOU can manifest a magical relationship. And she’s going to help you do just that!

Carele’s mission is to enlighten and empower women so they can be wealthy in all parts of their life. From that mission was born the Enlightened-Women website, the only Resources Website for women. www.enlightened-women.com

During the show, she’ll teach you how to:

– Create the person you want to attract (in detail)
– Understand the subtleties of compromise and self-respect
– How love relationships can be Magical!

We look forward to having you call in and ask live questions during the show! Here’s how:

Monday January 4th at 12PM noon (www.timezoneconverter.com)
Listen via web: www.blogtalkradio.com/drkaren
Call in live: 347-945-6313 and dial “1” to put your hand up so I can see that you wish to ask a question.

And if you can’t listen in at noon, you can always download the archived show free of charge on blog talk radio! Enjoy!

Dr. Karen Kan

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Dear Dr. Karen: How can I use the Law of Attraction to improve the relationship that I already have?

Posted on 10 September 2009 by Dr. Karen

Dear Dr. Karen,

How can I use the Law of Attraction to improve the relationship that I already have. I KNOW that we were meant to be together due to numerous reasons and synchronicities that I continue to see everyday, but I feel that my fiancee is afraid of this due to her past traumas and being unloved in childhood. She runs away, but at the same time she cannot let go. I have also tried to walk away but cannot. The result is we are at a constant stalemate. Can the Law of Attraction help to bring this relationship to bring about the changes needed to break down the resistance and overcome the things keeping us apart?


Dear Ken,

Intend the type of relationship you wish to have with your fiancee. Your greatest gift to her is loving her exactly the way she is, with all the fears and insecurities she may have. She has attracted you into her life to be a mirror. You can treat her differently from all the other people who has let her down in the past. The relationship is a form of healing for both of you if you can see it that way.

Instead of wanting her to change because you think she (and you) would feel better, see if you can be inquisitive about what makes her tick. The Law of Attraction works in this way – the more unconditional the love you can have towards your fiancee, the more that kind of love will return to you. Don’t try to change her. You’re not her therapist and you shouldn’t put yourself in that role.

What would help even more is that YOU get counseling or coaching. You would set an example for her. If she sees how much happier you are when you are working on your own “stuff”, then maybe, just maybe, she’ll be inspired to delve into her own “stuff” and clear it once and for all.

Too often we are trying too hard to tell others how they can change to be happier instead of focusing on our OWN stuff. So Ken, how CAN you be happier with your fiancee without needing her to change? There is no such thing as a real stalemate. You are either growing or dying. Which is it?

Take the initiative to grow yourself. Don’t wait for her to change or even give her the sense that you wish her to change. It will be counterproductive. Instead, give her what she has never received, unconditional love AND acceptance. And may she be inspired by your example.

Dr. Karen Kan

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Dear Dr. Karen: I’m Attracted to a Married Man in a Troubled Marriage

Posted on 17 January 2009 by Dr. Karen

Hi Dr. Karen


I am hoping that you would have the time to give me some of your insight on the situation I am struggling with.  Also, I am hoping you could answer this on your Blog on your site.


I met a man about three months ago whom was working on the boiler in my condominium building.  Whenever I would come and go we would chat more and more. Clearly we made a strong physical/emotional and spiritual connection. He made it clear how pretty he thought I was, and so fun with a great personality. He said that if his marriage didn’t work out he would be pounding on my door! It came out that he was married and having marital problems. He said ever since the kids moved out 2 years ago there has been no connection with his wife, and the kids were their connection. She has gained a lot of weight and unwilling to lose it. 

They can’t seem to agree on much, and she never goes with him out East to visit his relatives, even though they are fond of her and vice versa. I asked him if he loved her, and he could not answer the question, except to say, well she was going to give me her kidney two years ago.(he got a kidney transplant from a different donor though) He stated they both are praying, wondering if they should be together.


We ended up talking one day for over 2 hours in the boiler room after he finished his work.  We both stated are attraction for one another, and how things just seem to flow. How we would both miss this and wished there was more work for him to do in my building.  He told me how he really likes talking to me.

How it ended was his telling me that he always thought that you just live your lives, and whatever God’s will is. I asked him if he had ever had an affair and he said no, and he is a Christian, and that is not a Christian thing to do, and believes that what you give out comes back at you.


I gave him a affirmation sheet about the silence power of prayer. It contained different life struggles in it and how to use prayer to help. I also included a handwritten note.  In the note I told him that after you have prayed however long you need to, and have looked at all the options, and if you still don’t feel good about it , maybe it’s best to just make a decision that is “right for you”. I told him I only say this because I have been there, and had to do this myself, and it is not an easy thing for me to face my fears!  I also told him that everyone deserves to be happy- whatever that means to them, and he is not responsible for someone else’s feelings-happiness, nor does he owe it to them. I said that whatever happens, remember, it’s always for the best, and to not be so hard on himself. I said if your situation changes or you need to talk-call me.


That was six weeks ago and I have not heard from him, or received a thank-you.  (He really does not have to thank me though). But I am wondering what he thought about the affirmation sheet and note I gave him.  I really feel that we connected on many levels and he possibly could be my soul-mate. I am so struggling in trying to let go of this attachment to him. I think of him daily and I hope that some day he contacts me!


Thanks in advance for your help!


Dear Kelley,


Can I be blunt with you? I think you know me well enough to know that I care how you feel, right? OK?


So I’m going to be your coach right now. See if you can stay open. Sound good?


OK, what you’ve described is VERY similar to something I went through a few years ago. I can almost feel what you are feeling (although no one can prove or disprove that). My sense is this: people are very different when they are attached to someone and when they are “free”. Whether his wife is fat or whether she’d unwilling to lose it has nothing to do with whether you belong in this man’s life as a romantic partner. He doesn’t have it in him to give you what you want. He’s made that LOUD and CLEAR by his inaction.


You’re trying to be his friend, his counselor and you are expecting him to reciprocate or at least appreciate you. He cannot. Why? Well, it isn’t because he isn’t a good person. I believe all of us has a core of pure light…It is because you are projecting what you want to see in this person instead of what he can truly give you.


You’ve caught onto his needy signals and the rescuer in you is in full form. Remind yourself of all the other times you stepped into rescuer mode. Feels good at the beginning. You feel like you are contributing to someone’s life…making a difference. Only problem is, they really didn’t ask you to rescue them AND by trying to rescue them, you actually dis-empower them to create their own solution. Your intentions are good, however, they are not without attachment.


Believe me, I struggle with this weekly with James. It has been quite a practice for me to give him space to make “mistakes” and not rescue him and do things for him that he could otherwise learn to do himself.


The habit you are displaying is unfortunately not a healthy one, for a sustainable relationship. How do I know? Check in on how you feel. Do you feel a little used? It’s not that he meant to use you, no. It’s just that you chose a person that didn’t have the capacity to give you what you truly want! It’s not a win-win. You gave. You didn’t receive back.


Where else has that played itself out in your life? Think hard…


Here’s the rub. He is unlikely your soul-mate. Your dream partner (the term I like to use instead) is one that is completely available to you and attentive to your needs. Isn’t that what you would want in your ideal relationship? So in order to attract that, you really do need to let this one go. The attraction you both feel is just energy. It doesn’t mean that person is your soul-mate.


Look back on your laundry list (if you’ve read Creating Your Fairytale Love Life). See how many characteristics match up. If it doesn’t match up at least 99%, then either your list was “wrong” or this relationship is just “practice” for you to learn something about yourself.


You don’t have to settle for less. Don’t get messed up in this man’s problems or his wife’s relationship. Don’t play the role of counselor or helper. In fact, in your case, run the other way! Know that every time you feel that feeling of wanting to rescue, hold your tongue…and let the other person find their own way. Unless you have NO VESTED interest in the outcome of his relationship woes AND you are a trained coach or counselor AND he has come to you for professional help, stay out of his personal life.


One of my friends who I fell madly in love with years before I met James was very wise when I told him how I felt about him (while I was still married). He said to me that he had experienced a very painful relationship with a married woman once before and wasn’t going to repeat that trauma. Instead, he told me that although he had feelings for me, nothing romantic was going to happen between us.


Then he told me that if one day we were both “free” and single, then he would reconsider our relationship. I was absolutely devastated at the time. I thought he loved me back. But some part of me knew he was very wise for drawing the boundary line. I didn’t speak or communicate to him for 10 months. It was a very painful 10 months for both of us, but I needed the space. My heart was broken and I cried myself to sleep some nights in silence next to my husband.


After my husband and I separated, I finally wrote him a thank you letter, telling him how much I appreciated his wisdom. A few months later, we got together. We had both grown. We knew then that we’d just be friends. And we remain friends to this day, each with our own dream partners.


There are good reasons why it is in your best interest to stay away from otherwise unavailable men, Kelley. It may seem depressing for me to say this to you, but I’m sharing my story with you so that you can feel my genuine desire for you to ask for the world and not settle for less.


The law of attraction states that like attracts like. You want to give the Universe a CLEAR signal of what it is you want, not what you don’t want. Don’t settle. It’s a test.


Kelley, you are AWESOME and you deserve the best!



Dr. Karen Kan


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Dear Dr. Karen: Why Isn’t My Dream Partner Here Yet?

Posted on 25 November 2008 by Dr. Karen

I received this question from Angel recently and wanted to share with you my response:

Dear Dr. Karen:

I really do believe in the law of attraction I have a positive outlook and act like I am already in a relationship. I have everything I have always wanted except someone to share it with. I am clear and specific about who I want. When and how will this happen? I can feel it but it’s not there…

Dear Angel,

You are not the only one who asks this question. I remember when I was manifesting my dream partner James, I became disappointed after 8 months of “doing my best” and my dream ice-skating love partner was nowhere to be found!

There is something important you need to know about how the law of attraction works. The Universe has the ideal timing for everything and we are not in conscious control of that timing (of when “it” will happen). I recommend that you listen to my colleague Sandy Sain in the interview I did with her on blog talk radio (see radio player on the side bar at www.lawofattractioninlove.com) when she told me how she went on 500 dates over five years before she knew herself well enough and became the person she needed to become to manifest her dream partner Bob. When I asked her whether it was worth the wait (total of eight years I believe, after her divorce), she said YES!

Since you’ve been specific in asking for your partner and have been embodying the energy of already having received and are “acting” as if this person will show up in any moment, your current job is just one thing – ENJOY your life. Yes, enjoy your life. You said you have everything thing you’ve ever wanted. WOW! Amazing! That is wonderful! So all you need to do now is to fully engage in your PRESENT life (because you have to be PRESENT to manifest something in the future). Your dream partner will come if that is your soul’s true calling!

That being said, there is one thing that my mentor and bestselling author, Keith Leon, told me about manifesting your ideal partner that you need to know about. Look at the list of qualities you have written down for your ideal mate. You need to become all those qualities (aside from the physical ones!) before you can attract them. So, for example, if you wrote down that you partner must have integrity and honesty, check in with yourself as to whether you can truly say you fully embody those qualities yourself. The Law of Attraction states that like attracts like, so you must BECOME that which you wish to attract. If you want a weatlhy mate, then become wealthy yourself. If you want someone who is very kind and compassionate, practice being ever-more compassionate to people around you (including yourself) on a daily basis. Get the picture?

Most of all, just TRUST that The Universe has your best interests in mind and that your manifestation will appear when you least expect. Practice LETTING GO of your attachment to your intention, which will free up the energy around it (and thus bring it quicker to you), yet at the same time feeling passionate about what you want. Passion and attachment are not the same thing. The energy of ATTACHMENT feels needy and scarce. The energy of PASSION is a great magnet.

Enjoy your life! I believe in you!
Dr. Karen

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