Tag Archive | "personal growth"

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Just for MEN!

Posted on 28 July 2011 by Dr. Karen

I’m writing to let you know about powerful free teleseminar for men this Thursday, July 28th.

It’s called Release Your Limiting Beliefs about “Being a Man” to Become Authentically Who You Are, and it’s being led by Lion Goodman who developed a potent process that helps us delete limiting beliefs and re-program ourselves with a new set of positive, empowering beliefs that are aligned with our highest values and most authentic selves.

Click here to register for free: https://shiftnetwork.infusionsoft.com/go/um1/drkaren

Lion has shared this technique with hundreds of clients with amazing results. It sounds like a powerful practice that can serve your evolution as a man for the rest of your life. (Women are welcome to join the call, too!)

In addition, Lion is leading a 9-week course for men called The Ultimate Man: Activating a Life of Integrity, Authenticity and Power, featuring 8 top transformational teachers, including Robert Moore, Satyen Raja and Keith Merron. It starts August 3rd, and you can check it out here:https://shiftnetwork.infusionsoft.com/go/umc/drkaren

Warm regards,

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Dear Dr. Karen: I Always Attract the Wrong Type of Person!

Posted on 28 February 2009 by Dr. Karen

Dear Dr. Karen

I always seem to be attracting the wrong type of person into my life. And the guys that do find me attractive and come into my life are just not right for me. I have tried the law of attraction and watched the secret of a million times but it just doesn’t seem to be working. I just don’t know what’s wrong with me.

Being single has now become the norm for me because after a few dates it just never seems to work. I doubt it’s the way I look because I’m comfortable with the way I look so I just don’t know why I’m still single. I think I have practically everything in my life except the one thing that I want the most and that is someone who I can love. So please, how do I go about achieving this?

I’ve been looking for someone to help me out on this one, please be that person!!!

Many thanks,


Dear JoJo,

I hope you were there listening to my teleseminar last week because I dealt with this issue in detail. JoJo, there is nothing wrong with you. You are attracting the same “unattractive” guys to you because of your conditioning/programming from childhood. When we are young and most impressionable, we learn how relationships are supposed to be from the people we interact with the most as children – our parents, school teachers, relatives etc.

Our beliefs are formed from childhood experiences – what we hear, see and experience – and create an unconscious “blueprint” that tells the Universe what kind of person to bring to us. For example, if someone told you at age five that being too smart would drive the boys away, you would unconsciously deny your intellectual talents for fear that no one would be attracted to you.

It is not always easy to “see” our childhood programming without some sort of guidance and a lot of intentionality. In your case, I would highly recommend some serious study on the topic of relationships and some coaching or counseling.

People often make the mistake of thinking that good relationships are supposed to “happen” automatically. Well, they don’t. We have to LEARN how to have a good relationship. I don’t know about you, but in my school, there was never a course called, “Love Relationships 101”!

The law of attraction in manifesting your dream partner includes putting energy in developing your relationship skills. If you’ve watched The Secret and have been diligent in using the seven steps to manifesting from Creating Your Fairytale Love Life, then all it means is that The Universe is waiting for YOU TO BECOME the kind of person you wish to manifest.

If you had a tall wish order like I had, then the Universe will wait until you’ve GROWN to a level of maturity to make that relationship a success.

And please don’t think everyone you’ve dated is a waste, just because it didn’t work out. Think of dating as a personal growth experiment to learn more and more about yourself and to hone your relationship skills. My colleague, Sandi Sain, dated hundreds of men before she was truly READY to manifest her dream partner Bob. And she doesn’t regret one single date! She appreciates them all for what she learned about herself!

So be patient. Learn to see the beauty in everyone you meet, even if they aren’t your perfect match. When you can appreciate everyone for at least one quality, you will begin to vibrate at a level that matches your desires.


Dr. Karen Kan

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Our Christmas “Personal Growth” Experience With the Parents

Posted on 11 January 2009 by Dr. Karen

Well, my dream partner James and I had a very interesting and amazing experience visiting his family over the Christmas holidays. He was prepared for some “personal growth” and I was there to support him. There were some challenging times, like the times where he was treated like he was as a child (tough for all of us when we go back to our childhood “homes”) and at the same time, it was a wonderful way to experience how we’ve all changed.

In fact, there was a moment when his parents said to him (in an unapproving way, I suppose), “James, you’ve changed!” Gone are the days where James would be afraid to speak his mind. And James answered, “Yes, I have changed. And I like how I’ve changed!”

Interesting how our old childhood patterns of relating to our parents always seem to repeat themselves UNTIL one party decides to change the system. We call it “chaos”. Or at least temporary chaos. Cool thing is…chaos settles down after a time into a new order. And we got to see a new found respect growing between mature adults.

So why am I telling you all this?

Well, I’m treating you like family. I want to let you in on how things REALLY are instead of the fantasy world you may project upon me or others. Family dynamics can be very challenging, and if you are willing to be PRESENT and OPEN to miracles happening by changing how you see your parents, you’ll suddenly notice that they’ve changed how they perceive you. And get this…if you can heal your relationships with your family as a single person, it will GREATLY enhance your ability to heal any relationship in the future, including manifesting your dream partner.

Like the time when James was rather frustrated that his father wouldn’t let him drive the 1974 Corvette Stingray he had promised him. His father generously gave his car to James and showed it to him over Christmas. It was his intention that James move it to where we live some time in the summer. But it was Christmas and James was VERY attached to driving it THEN, not later.

His father woudn’t budge. “No, you can’t drive it now. You can drive it later when you have the car moved to NY.” James was infuriated at the time. He felt his father was being unreasonable and controlling. There was absolutely no logical reason why he couldn’t let James just try out the car…even for a few minutes!

James was enlightened enough to know he had to leave the house and “process” his frustration. So the two of us went for a walk and he asked me for guidance. I gave him a lot of credit to be aware enough to know he needed someone to give him an objective perspective.

This is what I shared with him. “James, I understand your frustration. You can’t understand why your dad won’t let you drive the car and you feel it is his way of controlling you, right?”

“Yes, that’s right”, James answered.

“Well, let me share with you what I just read in Pema Chodren’s book, The Places that Scare You. Pema said that it is those moments of frustration and trouble that are the golden moments of our enlightenment and growth. So USE this situation to your advantage. Use the tools you have been taught. From the way I see things, The Universe is giving you a message and here is it:

“James, the feeling you are feeling right now is a RED FLAG that you are feeling ATTACHED to the outcome. You are attached to driving that car before you leave and go back home to NY. Feel that feeling and understand that it will teach you when you are no longer on your PATH.”

James looked up at me. He understood completely what I was saying. He had gotten ATTACHED to the outcome. He knows that he cannot manifest what he wants when he is attached. Immediately he began feeling the uncomfortable feelings in his body so he could memorize what it felt like to be attached. It wasn’t pleasant. Now he knows that whenever he feels those feelings again, it will be his RED FLAG that he isn’t on his PATH (the one he intended).

We talked a little bit more, walked a little and by the time we went back to his father’s house, James was at total peace with not having the opportunity to drive that car during this little visit to his parents. He was totally “OK” with not having his way. He was at peace.

As we entered the house, his father was there to great us. The first thing he said was, “Do you really want to drive that car?” and James answered excitedly, “Sure!”. And his dad gave him the keys, right then and there…

As James’s astonished and happy face turned to see my reaction, I just winked and said, (of at“See what miracles happen when you let go?” The Universe was now giving him the message: “Ya done good kid!”

Can you apply this to YOUR life?

Ask yourself: Where am I not at peace? where do I need to let go to have peace? what outcome am I attached to? where do I feel tension in my life?

See if you can feel the difference in your body when you feel attached and when you don’t. That’s the key.

So that’s my teaching story for this month. For those of you who have written in letters, I’ll be answering quite a few on Monday’s Blog Talk Radio Show at 12 noon EST U.S. You can call me live during the show at 1-347-945-6313 to ask a question or just tune into www.blogtalkradio.com/drkaren

I’m sorry I can’t answer everyone’s question right away and if I haven’t answered yours and it has been while, it could very well be that I’ve written the answer several times already on my blog or on the radio show. I do my best not to repeat myself too many times so that others will have a chance to get their question answered. I hope you understand.


Dr. Karen

P.S. James was kind enough to give me permission to tell his story for the purposes of teaching, so send him a virtual hug for that generosity!

P.P.S. I’m extending the special for the Law of Attraction Intensive Home Study Course so you still get the bonuses if you purchase the course soon! Enjoy!

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Handling Rejection and the Law of Attraction

Posted on 27 October 2008 by Dr. Karen

The other day, I received word that out of 80 applicants that submitted proposals to teach at a high profile conference, I was not chosen to participate. It was a perfect example of how the outcome of your intentions are not always what you expect. So how do I handle rejection?

Well! Very differently from how I used to handle rejection! I used to take rejection personally and feel bad about myself. I used to ask myself, “what’s wrong with me” or decide that I wasn’t “good enough”. Can you relate? This old programming was making me miserable and for years, despite high achievements in almost every area of my life, I had very low self-esteem.

Today, I can celebrate rejection!

Why? Because I can celebrate how rejection (or praise for that matter) is no longer “personal”. In other words, I no longer let praise or rejection define me as a “good” or “bad” person. So here is how I use the law of attraction in dealing with rejection: I reframe it.

In other words, I make up a story of how it best serves me.

For example, I now assume that if I didn’t get the “job” I wanted, it must mean that the decision-maker and I are not on the same wave-length (vibration) and therefore it is an inappropriate match. Thus I can thank the Universe for kindly saving me heartache and headache from a mismatched relationship.

Secondly, I also assume that it must mean that an even BETTER opportunity is quickly coming my way. And so, believe it or not, I’m even EXCITED for my future, despite the rejection.

Thirdly, I can see how far I’ve come in my personal growth from my past programming by observing my reaction (or lack of reaction) to the news of my rejection. This gives me an opportunity to appreciate myself more. It is confirmation that my joy and happiness and sense of self-worth come from within and has nothing to do with anyone else’s view of me. Know what I mean?

Even though I had set my intentions very clearly in teaching the program this year and was rejected, I’m imagining that I will be offered an even bigger opportunity, so it has motivated me to keep working towards my intentions or “goals”. There is not even one moment of hesitation. Nor is there any regret or perception of wasted time.

You know what was really cool too? Not only did I avoid my old patterns of thinking i.e. “I’m not good enough”, I actually perceived that it was the other camp that was really losing out from the amazing value I had to offer. It reminds me of the time that I was “dumped” by this guy years ago and I remember having thought to myself, “Hmmf! His loss!”

So what does this have to do with the law of attraction? It has everything to do with it. You see, if you let rejections get you down, your vibration diminishes and you begin attracting less of what you want. On the other hand, if you don’t take rejections personally and just use them as learning experiences, then you will keep your vibration high and you will manifest what you want faster and faster as time goes by.

Author and successful business consultant, Christine Comaford-Lynch, in her book, Rules for Renegades, talks about rejection and failures as opportunities to grow. In fact, she says to “fail forward” – in other words, use your failures to your future advantage.

By reframing your “losses” into “wins” – guess what? You ALWAYS win. EVERYTHING can be perceived as serving you. Cool or Cool? And if you came to my Law of Attraction Intensive Workshop, you’ll remember that we did a very special group exercise called reframing where you brainstormed on how to make your “losses” into “wins”. If you weren’t there, I’d highly recommend that you pick up a copy of the Home Study Course with the included handouts so you can practice reframing.


Dr. Karen Kan

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