Tag Archive | "low self-esteem"

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How to Help Someone in Crisis

Posted on 07 December 2009 by Dr. Karen

My partner, James, just told me about an old high school friend he just connected with on Facebook. She was lamenting that her daughter, who lost her dad in the military, has been in the hospital due to mental distress. He was asking me about what he could do to counsel his friend.

I suggested two things, the first of which was specific to James’ skill as a healer. I told him that he could do a distance Reiki healing on the daughter. He would have to sense telepathically whether she would accept the healing before proceeding (us healers don’t IMPOSE our healings on others if they don’t want it).

The second thing I suggested was for him to tell his friend to write daily journal entries (5 minutes is all that is required) stating all the things she appreciates about her daughter for at least 30 days in a row. Since she lives far away from her daughter, she cannot be by her side to comfort her, and of course as a mother she is worried.

When we try to help people, our worrying adds to their burden. Instead, we want to send a higher vibrational energy stream their way. This journaling exercise is a great way to do it.

So if you have someone you care about in a crisis, the best thing you can do without even having to tell them, is a daily appreciation exercise. This will help them feel better about themselves believe it or not.

I had a case where a patient’s son was suicidal. My patient lived far away so he was distraught he could not help his son. I had him do this exercise for 30 days straight. Very quickly, both the son and the patient got out of the crisis and his son did just fine.

Do not underestimate the power of energy and YOUR power to heal yourself and others. You have much to contribute to the world through your love. And via the Law of Attraction, what you emanate in love will come back to you many times over!

If you’re new to this blog, please sign up for our GOODIES in the tab at the top of the webpage! And also, please let me know what you think of this post by commenting below.

Dr. Karen Kan

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Dear Dr. Karen: He Said He Never Loved Me After 8 Months of Being Together!

Posted on 19 April 2009 by Dr. Karen

Hi Dr. Karen,

I came across your website while finding a solution to cope with my relationship woes. I have read up on the law of attraction and watched the documentary ”the secret” previously and have applied the premise in my life and have found relative success in my career and physical appearance.

However, my love life has been less than fulfilling. I have not been able to meet my idea man. However, last August, I met a good idea man. He was very nice,attentive and caring to me but out of a blue moon, he told me that he has no feelings for me and has never liked me in our 8 months relationship. I tried to reason with him how could he have no feelings for me when we have spent so much good times together for the past 8 months and i sensed that he truly has some feelings for me. He denied it and said he only sees me as a buddy. He asked me to give up on him and to move on and that he would never never like him. He severed off all sources of contact. He told me it would be dishonest of him to patch-up with me when he does not love me.

I am now trying to move on. And I am going through difficult times. I can sense that he did love me but he seems very firm now that he has never loved me and wants me out of his life.

He makes me feel so rejected and unlovable. It seems that I am living in an illusion of my own. I am wondering if there’s anything wrong with me as I have always experienced romantic rejection and guys always turn me away completely without giving me chances of redemption or considering dating me after they realised my profound feelings for them. It is very absurb and hurtful to me. My self-esteem is totally bruised.

What should I do Karen? Please help me, I am feeling very depressed. How could I make someone likes me?


Dear Jessie,

I can feel your pain and sadness and I feel for you. No one likes to get rejected, and this is probably a huge shock to you having been together this long with someone. You might be unwilling to trust your judgment after this painful experience or you might be tempted to close your heart to future love in order to avoid pain.

Here’s the thing. You manifested this man into your life to abandon and reject you. Yup. Sounds awful doesn’t it? You’re probably wondering to yourself, WHY would I do that?

Well, you aren’t doing it consciously. Because this is a repetitive pattern in your romantic life, it tells me that this issues has deep roots in your unconscious patterning from childhood. You are re-enacting a childhood situation that you may not be aware of. Who in your childhood repeatedly rejected you or abandoned you? It could be your mother, your father, or anyone who was dear to you.

Or did you witness this in your family of origin? Did you mother abandon your father or vice versa?

You see, you are ONLY attracting men who will eventually reject and abandoning you. The way you harness the law of attraction is to make sure you do the following:

1. In creating your wish statement for you ideal partner you MUST include that this person loves you equally and is available for you. See Chapter 1 and 2 of my eBook for details.

2. You must get to the bottom of your unconscious beliefs and relationship blueprint so that you can heal it…otherwise history will repeat itself.

I highly recommend you get some individual counseling or coaching to work with you on this. It is near impossible for us to “see” all of our unconscious programming without outside help.

I am confident that once you get started on working on healing yourself through personal work with a skilled counselor or coach, you will naturally start attracting a whole new set of men who WILL love you and adore you as much as you adore them.

Do whatever you need to do to feel good about yourself. Stay connected to friends and family who support and love you. Allow yourself the time to grieve and heal and see if you can keep your heart open to new possibilities. You have the control to your destiny. It isn’t about “them” (the men), it is about YOU and your vibration. By changing your internal programming (your vibration), you will change your entire life.

My prayers and blessings are with you, my dear.

Dr. Karen Kan

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