Dear Dr. Karen,

Money is energy, and I emanate my own energy from within and attract to me what is compatible to my energy frequency, how can I attract money to me so that I don’t end up working myself to the bone only to end up barely above water when I’m an old man?

Kelvin

Dear Kelvin,

You are correct in saying that money is energy and that in order to attract money, you must radiate the “ideal” money-coherent frequency. So the good news is that you already UNDERSTAND the concept of what must happen in order to attract money into your life.

The seven steps of manifesting that I teach in my eBook and my Law of Attraction Home Study Course are the same whether you are manifesting love in your life or more money. What I’ve found is that step number 5, which deals with Obstacles, can be the most stubborn when it comes to money.

Many of us grew up with negative money beliefs, some of which we are not even aware of. The subconscious negative beliefs about money and wealth are the MAIN reasons that hamper people from consciously using the Law of Attraction to attract more money. In other words, it isn’t about how much schooling you received, whether you are smart enough or even if you work hard enough. It boils down to your beliefs!

There is a saying amongst Law of Attraction teachers that goes something like this: Your income will be the average of the income of the five closest people you hang out with. Now I’m not saying to go out today and ditch your “poor” friends, but seriously, unless you make an effort to learn to get to know and emulate powerful, enlightened wealthy people, your chances of money success is next to nil!

I’ll share with you what I’ve found most helpful for myself. First is a free teleseminar about your money beliefs and how they affect your success:

www.secretstomoney.info

Next is a list of books I recommend that you start devouring immediately!

• Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, T. Harv Eker
• Millionaire Maker, Loral Langemeier
• Cash Machine for Life, Loral Langemeier
• The Four Hour Work Week, Tim Ferris
• Rich Dad, Poor Dad, Robert Kiyosaki
• Put More Cash in Your Pocket, Loral Langemeier
• Who Do You Think You Are? Keith Leon

Here’s some general pointers:

• You need to learn to take interest in managing money, even if you have to fake it initially. The Universe will not give you MORE until you have demonstrated that you can handle more.
• Clarity breeds better intentions. If you don’t know what your “profit-loss” numbers are on a monthly basis, start doing this today. It isn’t hard (check out Millionaire Maker for instructions)
• Money does not come into chaos.
• If you don’t good reasons for the amount of money you want to attract, you won’t get it. So become clear on what you wish to DO with the money and how much it will actually cost.
• The people who get paid the most usually help the most people.
• Change your money language.

Notice what you said above: so that I don’t end up working myself to the bone only to end up barely above water when I’m an old man?

That sentence is chock full of old beliefs and attitudes that no longer serve your higher purpose. Can you see that now? What I’m hearing is the belief that one must work HARD (to the bone even!) for a LONG time to earn lots of money. The “barely above water” is a really strong SCARCITY phrase and I encourage you to get rid of this type of language from your vocabulary starting right now.

There are big No-No phrases if you’re using the Law of Attraction to attract more money:

• We can’t afford it (if you say it, it will be true for you)
• That’s too expensive (scarcity energy)
• Must be nice! (to be able to afford such-and-such…envy energy)
• Money doesn’t grow trees (of course it does…it is made of paper isn’t it?)
• I just want enough to be comfortable (comfort is highly overrated and not a single wealthy person got there by being comfortable!)
• Materialism is bad (no it isn’t, it just depends on your intentions)
• Money is the root of all evil (money is just energy remember?)

Here are positive things to do:

• When you see someone who seems wealthy, appreciate them instead of being envious – and tell yourself, if they can do it, so can I
• Appreciate beautiful material things, even if you don’t plan on buying them. Anti-materialism will keep you poor for sure!
• Grow out of your comfort zone and get some professional coaching to help you find out what your passions are and how you can make money from them.

Learning how to become wealthy requires intensive but FUN study. You’ll learn to use your GIFTS in a way that serves as many people as possible. It is part of your Life Mission!

I believe in you.

Dr. Karen Kan

PS:

February is LOVE month, so I’d like to share a valuable offer. As most of you know, Haiti and those that lost loved-ones have been on our minds and in our prayers since the earthquake in January. For the month of February, I’m donating 50% of the profits from my eBook and Law of Attraction Home Study Course sales to Haiti.

Please help me in giving to them (as well as giving to yourself)! Here are the links:

Creating Your Fairytale Love Life eBook

Law of Attraction in Love Home Study Course

Thank you in advance!

Blessings,

Dr. Karen

• I’m making my Law of Attraction intentions and it seems like the opposite to what I want is happening?
• I’m doing everything I’m supposed to according to what I’ve read on the Law of Attraction, but nothing is working!
• How come my life became a “disaster” after just making one intention/wish?
• When things I don’t want “appear” in my life, does that mean I did something wrong? or does it mean I should change my direction?
• When obstacles appear that block what I want, what should I do? Does it mean what I want is not good for me?
• If we attract everything in our lives, how can you say an innocent baby attracted sexual abuse? 

Please join me for the last Law of Attraction teleseminar of the year! The details are below:

Dear Dr. Karen,

Thanks,
Too confused to understand Men!

Dear “Too Confused”,

I can see how frustrated you are with this situation. It is as if this man is two different people. One the phone and through email and messages he is attractive in every way and attentive and loving. But in person, he is scared, distant and totally unavailable!

Well, this is a painful lesson for you. People can often use the “safety” of distance (not face-to-face) contact to express their fantasies, but eventually, a relationship needs to be able to grow past all that. This man you attracted is far from ready to be attentive to you in “real” life. He lives in a fantasy world online and you just happen to fall into a trap. It isn’t that he meant for it to be a trap, it is just that his world is not REAL.

You deserve a REAL relationship with someone who is willing to be who he REALLY is face-to-face with you. This Italian man is clearly very shy and has not had much practice in being in real relationships. He is intimidated, but that is not your fault. You do not have to make yourself smaller just so he can feel more confident. He is like a child at this point…not meaning any harm, but not able either to be an ADULT in the relationship.

You have lots of red flags here that are telling you to abandon the relationship as soon as possible. The fact that you still linger means that on the subconscious level, your self-esteem is low and that you do not feel you deserve better..otherwise you would have dropped him like a hot potato and moved on.

But it’s OK if you haven’t yet. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself. Understand that by hoping he would change, you are asking someone to be who they are not…which is not very loving or attractive. This is how you use the Law of Attraction. Let go of what clearly isn’t serving you (otherwise you give the message to the Universe that you deserve to be treated in a way that is less than loving). Then start again with your wish list and ADD the criteria to the list you missed in your first “try”.

So you may wish to add, “a man that is able and willing to connect with me on a mature level” or something even more specific.

By letting go of this relationship, you will harness the law of attraction by giving the message that this is NOT good enough for you. Move on. That means ending the relationship. Don’t even stay friends since you’re still feeling hurt. It is energy that is draining you from your true desires. Just let him know that after your meeting, you’ve realized that you’re both not on the same page and that you need to move on and make a clean break. Wish him well, then say goodbye. It isn’t easy, and he’ll rebel, but it is the best for both of you. Be strong.

You need to learn you deserve more and he needs to learn (for his own benefit) that a fantasy love life doesn’t serve either of you in the end.

If you need help with that, seek the help of a coach like myself or a counselor. I believe in you.

Blessings,
Dr. Karen
P.S. If you haven’t done so already, please connect with me on Twitter and FaceBook!

It’s been a super-busy month and a fun one at that. I hope you can join me this Thursday evening for a FREE 50 minute teleseminar and coaching session focused on everything to do with the Law of Attraction. This call will be recorded and available in the MEMBERS section of the Law of Attraction website soon afterwards in case you can’t make the call but want to listen to it.

Here’s some of the questions you may wish to ask and the material we’ll cover

• When synchronicities happen in my life, what do they mean and what should I do when it happens?
• What CAN the Law of Attraction do for you and what CAN’T it do for you.
• Why even Law of Attraction gurus/teachers can have “bad” things happen to them and what it means for you?
• How many negative thoughts do you have to have before you manifest negative things in your life?
• If someone is really powerful or a great manifester, will they overpower YOUR wishes or intentions?
• Why are we taught that we need only ask the Universe once for what we want yet are also told to focus daily on what we want? Is there some controversy here?
• When “bad” things happen to “good” people…what does that all mean?
• Can you really use the Law of Attraction to bring back an old relationship?

The format for this month’s teleseminar will be a little different in that whoever is on the call will have priority to ask his or her Law of Attraction questions LIVE and I will coach you personally. Depending on the number of people on the call, we’ll probably spend about 5-7 minutes per person so we can get through some of our material.

What’s great about this group-format coaching is that one: it’s free! Second, you get your question answered personally by me. No need to wait days, weeks or months to see it published on my blog or newsletter. Thirdly, it helps others by listening to your questions and hearing how I coach you.

Here’s the teleseminar info for Thursday:

Thursday October 15th 7:30PM – 8:20PM
Conference number 712-432-3900
Access Code 7677512#

If you have Skype, you don’t have to pay long distance charges. I look forward to speaking with you then!

And by the way, today we had our Ask Dr. Karen segment on Blog Talk Radio Law of Attraction in Love show where I answered a bunch of great questions from people, so please check it out and listen to the archives at www.blogtalkradio.com/drkaren

Blessings,
Dr. Karen Kan
PS. please connect with me on Twitter! www.twitter.com/karenkan

Dear Dr. Karen,

Dear Ken,

Intend the type of relationship you wish to have with your fiancee. Your greatest gift to her is loving her exactly the way she is, with all the fears and insecurities she may have. She has attracted you into her life to be a mirror. You can treat her differently from all the other people who has let her down in the past. The relationship is a form of healing for both of you if you can see it that way.

Instead of wanting her to change because you think she (and you) would feel better, see if you can be inquisitive about what makes her tick. The Law of Attraction works in this way – the more unconditional the love you can have towards your fiancee, the more that kind of love will return to you. Don’t try to change her. You’re not her therapist and you shouldn’t put yourself in that role.

What would help even more is that YOU get counseling or coaching. You would set an example for her. If she sees how much happier you are when you are working on your own “stuff”, then maybe, just maybe, she’ll be inspired to delve into her own “stuff” and clear it once and for all.

Too often we are trying too hard to tell others how they can change to be happier instead of focusing on our OWN stuff. So Ken, how CAN you be happier with your fiancee without needing her to change? There is no such thing as a real stalemate. You are either growing or dying. Which is it?

Take the initiative to grow yourself. Don’t wait for her to change or even give her the sense that you wish her to change. It will be counterproductive. Instead, give her what she has never received, unconditional love AND acceptance. And may she be inspired by your example.

Blessings,
Dr. Karen Kan

Dear Dr. Karen

Thank you for all the information you have available for attracting my dream partner. I know I have a weakness in attracting healthy relationships and my soulmate. I was not raised in a healthy environment, nor was there any positive role models available. I’ve been working on these emotional issues, and I believe that I am making significant progress. Even though it is taking a very long time for my soulmate to manifest.

Right now I am somewhat depressed. I took approx. 7 years off from dating guys ( I was consistently attracting the same type of negative people.) I worked real hard on my self esteem, and forgiveness and loving myself, etc. However, recently I met a gentlemen with most of the qualities that I had on my list. After about a week of dating, which I really enjoyed, he was a true gentlemen etc. He abrutly told me that things are not going to work out between us. I was so devastated! After so long, I met someone I really liked and it ended that quickly. Can you shed some light if any as to where I went wrong.

Thanks. Candis

Dear Candis,

First of all, you are welcome. Secondly, you are in the perfect place to make great strides in your relationship life! Why do I say this? Because you are at least AWARE of the relationship environment you grew up in, that you didn’t have great positive role models and that you’ve been working on these issues.

Congratulations for putting the time and effort to work on yourself. It is only those people who are willing to grow themselves from where they were to where they want to be that will be truly happy and successful. That being said, you are still probably wondering why after all this work, the next gentleman you dated just abruptly dumped you! Afterall, you really liked this guy and didn’t see it coming at all did you? And you are wondering what did I do wrong?

I’m here to coach you that you are asking the wrong question. It needn’t be what did I do wrong? But instead, what does this situation give me the opportunity to grow into?

By asking what did I do wrong, you are owning up to the fact that on some level, you really do feel you are not adequate enough. Get it? In other words, the Universe was giving you a loving test. Here, let me be the Universe’s voice for a moment:

Dear One, We are giving you this opportunity for a reason. We love you. We want you to recognize how undeniably lovable you are to. And for this reason, you will experience rejection, so you will have the opportunity to feel that despite the rejection, you are still whole. You get to experience rejection and not take it personally for once. You get to experience the freedom of moving on, self-esteem intact. For this great gift, we give you this experience. Because we love you. You are perfect as you are.

So your experience with rejection was not proof that all your hard work has been a waste. Instead, your experience as an OPPORTUNITY for you to choose a higher perception that serves you..for you to experience that despite what happens on the outside world, you are at peace on in inside world. The Law of Attraction states that what you resonate on the inside is what you see on the outside.

That gentleman did you a favor. He just mirrored to you just where you are at on the self-esteem scale. It is OK. Learn from this. You are doing just fine. Keep up your study. Get a support team, a coach, a counselor. They can be helpful mirrors to you.

Once you’ve dealt with rejection to the point where it is no longer a big deal, your next breakthrough will come.

Blessings,

Dr. Karen Kan

Dear Dr. Karen,

Greetings.

How do I use the law of attraction to get a Doctor as my life partner? how should be my daily affirmations be? my family is looking for proposals and I desire to marry a doctor. so pls advise me.

Shana

****

Dear Shana,

Let me ask you a question before I answer you. If a man you knew only wanted to marry a blond American model with a bust size of 34C, what would you say to him? Would you judge him shallow? Unintelligent? Inflexible?

Let me ask you another question. Why do you want to marry a doctor? Because you’ve always wanted to be one and you couldn’t, so this is second best? Because you think somehow it will bring you financial security? (It doesn’t by the way..I’m a doctor and most I know are eyeballs in debt!) Because it will make your family happy and stop pestering you to get married? Or because somehow it will make you seem like a worthy person in the eyes of others?

Why am I asking you these questions? Because The Universe will NEED to know your WHY. You don’t need to tell me, but you do need to be brutally honest with yourself (and thus the Universe) as to the why. If your WHY is big enough AND resonates with your soul’s wish AND is in the highest and best interest of all, then you will manifest your dreams.

Let me present you with my guesses as to what this is all about. When I was a little girl, it was considered prestigious to marry a doctor. I suppose it still is. The belief at the time was that I would have an easy time after marriage…my husband would take care of the finances and I could just relax my way to happiness. It would make me look “lucky” if I snagged one and I would have fur coats and diamond rings like my mother always wanted for herself (but she married a teacher, so she had to buy these things herself!). I would live the life of luxury.

Well, I decided that I didn’t want to be someone’s trophy wife, so instead I became a doctor myself. And then I got to witness firsthand what the life of a doctor is like and what the family has to endure. Let’s just say that being the traditional doctor’s wife (or husband) is a thankless job. Being a wife is worse because of our societal expectations of women in general. Traditionally, the wife takes care of the finances, childcare, volunteering, cooking, cleaning and the husband who could be grumpy and tired after working 36 hours in a row. Yes, there are some material perks, but with a partner who isn’t available, how fun is that?

OK, well the modern doctor’s marriage is a little better for women here in N. America at least. There is more equality and the guys pitch in to help around the house more.

But you know what, it isn’t any easier than marrying a non-doctor. Doctor’s wives are just as happy or unhappy as anyone else and have more stressors. More is expected of them. They are “just the wife” in the eyes of others and that is a tough place to be if your spouse is the “hero” doctor and you are not.

A doctor is simply just another person. He may earn more than the average person, but he also works more than the average person – between 60-100 hours a week. If you are marrying him just for his “money”, you won’t be very happy. I can guarantee that!

Besides, the best way to marry into wealth is to become wealthy yourself. Like attracts like. That’s the law of attraction. If you don’t resonate those vibrations, you won’t be able to attract it!

So a more appropriate affirmation would be: “I am abundantly wealthy and happy, married to a man who loves and adores me”

And after all that I’ve said, if you are still wanting to marry a doctor, then your BEST chance bar none is to go to medical school and become one. Many of my doctor colleagues married each other! Why? Because if you are spending 100+ hours a week seeing no one else except colleagues and patients, who else do you date????

Blessings,

Dr. Karen Kan

Hi Dr. Kan,

Recently I read somewhere that our thoughts bring us what we seek, but it is only through action that we receive it.

Over the past few weeks I have made my soulmate list and meditations. And now the Universe has brought someone in my life that I can see as a potential life partner. So, in this case what action would I have to take?

Thanks, Ali

Dear Ali,

You’ve asked a really interesting question Ali and that is why I’m addressing it in my blog. One of the “criticism” of the movie, The Secret, is that many who watched it erroneously thought that if they just did the “wishing” part, that what they wanted would just magically fall into their lap.

Now, it doesn’t mean that it isn’t true some of the time, but the nuances of manifesting could not be included in such a short movie. Basically, I’m here to teach you that the BIGGER the outcome you wish for (in your perception), the  BIGGER the ACTION you will likely need to take in order to receive it.

For example, if you are wishing to manifest a cup of coffee from someone, it probably isn’t going to take a lot action to get it, because a cup of coffee is “not a big deal” to most people. On the other hand, manifesting a dream love partner IS a big deal to most people and in their perception, is challenging, difficult or rare. Thus bigger action is required often to fully manifest the dream. And big action often means stretching your comfort zone or your belief structure.

Congrats to you for taking the time to make your soulmate list and for committing to your meditations (for manifesting)! That is already an ACTION that many people don’t even know to take! These are the first two steps to manifesting your ideal love partner from my eBook, Creating Your Fairytale Love Life. If you haven’t picked up a copy, I’d highly recommend it because the later chapters deal with obstacles and how to overcome them.

There are many actions you can take now that you made your list and have done your embodying (meditations). The next step is “acting as if” your soulmate has or will arrive shortly. How will you make space in your life for this person? Have you become all those qualities yourself that you have on that soulmate list? If not, you’d better get cracking!

On a practical level, since you have attracted a prospect that might meet your specifications, your next action step is to see if the glove fits. Get to know this person without attachment to the outcome that he/she is THE one you are looking for.

Have the curiousity to discover who he/she REALLY is, not who you want them to be. I’ve made myself miserable in the past by jumping the gun and being blind to the fact that the person I attracted WASN’T my ideal partner.

Keep in mind that sometimes that even though our soulmates will sense a connection right away, sometimes one of you has some personal growth work to do before you are ready for each other. Check out the Law of Attraction in Love Radio show I did with Keith Leon (especially the first one) on this subject!

Lastly, just take the logical NEXT STEP. You don’t have to know three steps ahead. You don’t have to know if you will be right or wrong. The more attached you are to being “correct” the less you will enjoy the mystery and wondrousness of life. So the next logical step in your case is to get to know the other person better. It’s that simple.

Blessings,

Dr. Karen

Dear Dr. Karen,

Have you heard of the No Contact Rule when it comes to break ups? Do you think that really works? My boyfriend broke up with me on Christmas Day because he thinks I lied to him and told me to never speak to him again. I didn’t do what he said. We’ve had no contact since the Tuesday before Christmas. I’ve been trying to let go but still anguishing waiting for him to contact me at least by phone stating he needs to talk to me. Do you believe in the No Contact rule?

Donna

Dear Donna,

Great question Donna. I can imagine the anguish you must feel when you feel you’ve done nothing wrong and you can’t explain yourself to your boyfriend. Frustrating I would imagine.

It neither believe or dis-believe in the “no contact” rule. It has nothing to do with belief.

Your boyfriend had a very serious reaction to whatever he thought you did. It probably touched his “core wound” and the pain was so great that he did whatever he felt was best to shield himself from further wounding. The fact that you didn’t mean to do any harm is besides the point. It is his perception that he is relying on. That’s all he has. And his perceptions are based in his “relationship blueprint” from childhood.

If his actions seem unreasonable to you, it is further evidence of this “wounding” I’m talking about. He is not consciously aware of this wounding so his actions will seem perfectly “logical” to him. For example, if he witnessed his father “lying” to his mother and how upset she was when he was a young boy, he will react violently to anything remotely similar in his adult life. See if you can feel a little bit of understanding and compassion now that you know this.

The one action you can take is to respect his space and his request for non-contact. I know this sounds very difficult, but trust me, if you push for contact, you will lose his trust further. I had an old boyfriend who didn’t respect my wish for non-contact and insisted on leaving messages on my voicemail. I lost trust because he didn’t respect my wish for space. The message I got was,

“You SHOULDN’T need space. I know better than you do what you need. My needs are more important than yours. You’re opinions and wishes are unimportant and wrong.”

Of course, that is not what he meant. But by calling me when I told him NOT to showed me that he cared more about what he needed than what I needed.

So, your best move is to wait and heal. There is one law of attraction exercise you can do to mend things quickly. I can’t promise you WHEN it will happen, only that it WILL. Your willingness and diligence in doing this exercise authentically will show up in your results.

Here’s the exercise. Because he has asked for non-contact, you are not permitted to call, email, snail mail your ex unless he explicitedly allows it. I suppose if he told you not to call him, you could use a loop hole and write him a letter. But only you know what he TRULY meant. Likely, he meant NO contact whatsoever, so don’t manipulate the situation just because you can.

Everything is Energy. You can still communicate to him…even one-sided. Here’s what you do: every day for at least 30 days straight, write your ex a virtual letter. In this letter, you will do your best to communicate your love, respect and understanding to your ex. You’ll tell him exactly what you love about him and why you miss him. You can even explain what “happened” as if he were standing there listening to you. You can ask for forgiveness from him.

You can be as creative as you want to be. It is important that the Energy of the letter be one of love and understanding, not one of neediness or accusations.

You see, since everything is energy, even if you don’t literally send the letter to your ex, he will RECEIVE it energetically. Yes! He will actually receive the messages you write in vibrational form. He will not know you are communicating to him consciously, but unconsciously the messages will enter his energy field. His unconscious will filter and let in whatever messages most resonate.

If YOU feel the love when you write the letter, he will FEEL it too. That’s the beauty of this exercise. I can’t tell you how many times this simple exercise has created peace where there was conflict. Are you willing to take this action? Is your relationship important enough to do it?

This is my challenge to you. Let me know after 30 days how things are going for you.

Blessings,

Dr. Karen Kan

Relationship Expert, Marcia Martin

Join us Monday April 27th at 12 noon EDT (www.timezoneconverter.com) for Law of Attraction in Love Radio!  The call-in number is 347-945-6313.

This week’s guest is relationship expert, Marcia Martin who I absolutely LOVED when I listened to her at All Your Relations Intensive in November hosted by Peak Potentials Training.

Marcia revealed some things I certainly was never taught about a man-woman relationship and I remember writing furiously in my notebook all the “gems” she had to share! Since then, James and I have been using them (at least I have consciously) and they work!! Really, really well! So you are in for a treat!

Ms. Martin was one of the original founders and the Senior Vice President of est (Erhard Seminars Training, now The Landmark Forum), the largest self-improvement educational company in the world, and is one of the Founding Members and Board Member Emeritus of The Transformational Leadership Council. She is considered to be a pioneer of the Human Potential Movement, and has been a trainer, thought leader, and coach in the personal development industry for over 30 years.

She has trained over 150,000 individuals worldwide, specializing in teaching transformational communication and leadership. An expert on the Law of Attraction, Marcia was instrumental in organizing many of the interviews for the film phenomenon, The Secret. Since 1980 she has also been the CEO of Marcia Martin Productions, an international consulting and training firm, and as it’s primary facilitator, personally leads Transformational Training Programs In public speaking, leadership development, time management, communication skills, relationship skills, and spiritual fulfillment.

Marcia has most recently created a transformational media company,
Wombat Network (World One Media for Breakthrough And Transformation), which utilizes the most leading edge digital technology to create media platforms for transformational thought leaders, producing life-altering, world-changing media, films, and programming for the world.

Please join us Monday! If you can’t, at least you can listen to the archive of the show.

Blessings,

Dr. Karen Kan