Tag Archive | "law of attraction"

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How do I keep him from cheating on me!

Posted on 29 April 2011 by Dr. Karen

Dear Dr. Karen,

I have been married to my husband for 20 years and we have children. Even before we were married, he cheated on me. And he has time and time again! He lies and gets very defensive when I confront him, but eventually the truth comes out. I’ve left him seven times but I always go back. I’ve asked him to leave several times as well, but he always comes begging me to take him back.

And I always take him back because I love him so much. I still love him. I am tired of being hurt by him, but I remain suspicious that he’s seeing someone else behind my back. This way of life has tampered with my self-esteem and in search of solutions I have tried everything.

I now have come across the Law of Attraction but my doubts are still there: does he really love me and want to be with me? and can a situation like this change using the Law of Attraction? Please help!

Nina

Dear Nina,

Thanks for your honest letter. I hope my answer will be helpful to you. But first, I have a question for you?

What are you expecting the Law of Attraction to do for you?

Are you expecting it to magically change your husband so that he isn’t the “cheating type” any longer? Because if that is the case, then I can tell you very easily that the Law of Attraction doesn’t work this way. We can’t use the Law of Attraction to change other people against their free will.

However, what you CAN use the Law of Attraction for is to create happiness for yourself. Whether your husband is part of that ultimate happiness is up to you and the Universe to co-create together. Your Law of Attraction “wish” statement could be something like:

I am thoroughly enjoying a fulfilling romantic relationship with my soulmate.

Sometimes we fool ourselves in thinking we truly love someone when we only truly love certain parts, or aspects, of them. What I mean by this is that you seem to enjoy enough aspects of your spouse to keep him around. But there are aspects of him that you don’t like so you aren’t truly happy. Isn’t that right?

So here’s the truth of the matter:

  • the highest form of love means being able to accept who our lovers are without judgment or expectation, but that doesn’t mean that you always like or enjoy what they are doing. There is a difference.
  • you can’t change another person. You don’t have that kind of control. You can only change yourself and your reactions to situations. When you can change yourself and be fully responsible for your own happiness, then you’ll see the relationship shift remarkably.

So you have a couple of very simple choices here Nina. It is high time you took 100% responsibility for your experiences. He is not responsible for your unhappiness, you are. I don’t mean to sound harsh, but you’ve been on this yo-yo ride for over 20 years now. When will you decide to change your experience? When will you realize that what you’ve been doing all these years doesn’t work?

Here are some choices:

You can choose to accept that your husband “cheats”,  and in that acceptance, you can enjoy him as much as possible when he’s around, and give up trying to change or criticize him for not being who you think he should be (the equivalent of telling a bear that it should acting like an antelope)

Do something drastically different for a change maybe. For example,  study books on open marriages or polyamory and see if any of those resonate with either of you. If “cheating” was genetic, like diabetes, would you be as judgmental of it? Probably not. I’m not saying it is, but what if it was?

Just trying to open minds here…

How about this new thought pattern: Can you entertain the possibility that your husband loving other people in no way diminishes his love for you? Does a candle flame diminish when it lights another candle? Love is light. Think about that.

I’m bringing this up because we’ve been unconsciously indoctrinated in the concept that the ONLY way a relationship can be successful is through monogamy. Anytime there is an absolute rule, we all should be questioning it’s validity, because somewhere, sometime, long ago, someone made that rule in order to control others.

Remember, it wasn’t long ago when women and children were considered a man’s property. And in some parts of the world, they still are (sigh!).

So Nina, in summary, you can either change your perspective (by letting go of victim-hood, judgment or expectations) or change your situation by leaving, but you can’t change him. Got it? Hope so.

So if you’re not willing to leave because having him around is BETTER than not having him around, then just admit to yourself that you’ve CHOSEN this relationship in its current form and stop being the victim. You’re not the victim here. You’re choosing this. When you can be compassionate with yourself about choosing this relationship, then you can let go of all the judgment of how imperfect it is and just ENJOY your husband.

If these steps seem too difficult for you, as I imagine they might be, I suggest that you book yourself into seeing a relationship coach or counselor and get some support. We all need support for our spiritual and personal growth, so I encourage you to be courageous and find an expert that you resonate with.

In the meantime, I highly recommend you pick up a copy of Neale Donald Walsch’s book on Relationships and read it over and over again:

You can also listen to the interview I did with him HERE.

I believe in you Nina. Thanks for helping others with your question.

Blessings,

Dr. Karen Kan
P.S. Anyone reading this post, feel free to comment.

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One simple five minute exercise that harness the Law of Attraction

Posted on 19 April 2011 by Dr. Karen

If you’re into the Law of Attraction, metaphysics, quantum physics, higher consciousness or just plain into manifesting the relationship of your dreams, read on…

I’ve been doing a LOT of studying lately. On many different subjects, but all related to two major themes: Energy and Consciousness.

On the health front, I’ve been researching how electromagnetic fields (for example microwave radiation from cell phones and cell towers) can be extremely hazardous to your health. Over Christmas, I became extremely sensitive to wireless radiation (sigh!) and thus I began researching some remedies (yes I found some!).

I’ve also been into knowing more about where our food in America comes from. It isn’t a pretty picture. James, my partner, and I have been watching movies like Food Inc., The Future of Food, The Beautiful Truth and King Corn.

What’s really interesting is how the lower quality “energy” coming from our food today translates, in essence, into a lowering of your energy levels available for manifesting!

Just think. What you eat can be interfering with how you manifest!

It’s all about energy. Allowing the energy in your body to drain away because you spend a lot of time using your computer or cell phone (luckily I discovered a couple of neat tools to prevent that) or by eating low energy food (pesticide ridden produce and meat from stressed out animals) means less energy available to harness the Law of Attraction.

And what does this mean about attracting your ideal romantic partner?

Less energy = Less attractiveness. Period.

As a holistic physician and energy healing professional, I have lots of information and tools at my disposal. I could go on and on about what I personally use to enhance my “vibration”, but I’m going to start by suggesting you do the simple five minute exercise below.

As a testament to this stuff “working” in our lives, I want to share two quick stories. Last week, while I was coaching a couple on Skype using my webcam, the man commented on how I seemed to “radiate”. Also last week, when my love partner, James, was out of town with friends, a woman he was passing on the street suddenly stopped and said rather loudly, “You are BEAUTIFUL! You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen!”

Nice.

How would you like to get comments like that?

Well, you can. Here’s your homework assignment for the next thirty days (preferably forever):

Every morning when you get up or every evening before you go to bed, write in a journal at least ten things you appreciate or are grateful for. At least two of these should be things you appreciate about yourself. If you’re ambitious like me, you’ll do another list of your successes for that day.

Most of us go to bed at night thinking about what we didn’t do rather than what we did do. We can be really hard on ourselves. Since the Law of Attraction states that what we focus on grows, I want you to start this habit of writing down all the positives in your life. I asked one of my clients with bulimia to do this on a daily blog and within two weeks I am witnessing the positive transformation in her life. My guess is that it was more effective than months of therapy.

This exercise may seem too simple to be useful. Don’t be fooled. This stuff works.

And make it fun. Buy yourself some nice colored pens and an attractive journal dedicated to this exercise. I have mine right by my bedside.

Let me know what you think by commenting below.

Blessings,

Dr. Karen Kan

P.S. In case you’re interested in checking out one of the tools I use to turbo-charge my manifesting abilities, check out this PAGE.

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Jack Canfield; up close and personal

Posted on 13 August 2010 by Dr. Karen

Many, many years ago, a $600-million-dollar man changed the life of JACK CANFIELD, who has become America’s #1 success coach, the co-author of the most successful book series in history, Chicken Soup for the Soul, and one of the stars of the film The Secret.

Find out in the new original Gaiam series, ENCOUNTERS: Portraits of Inspiring Lives. In this up-close and personal film, Jack reveals little-known stories about his early childhood, lifelong dreams, and personal philosophy.

Thanks to our friends at Spiritual Cinema Circle, you can receive this video of Jack Canfield, along with the feature film Broken Hill and two short films, for just a small shipping fee*. To see the trailer and start your free trial click here!

Enjoy the movies,

Dr. Karen Kan
www.LawofAttractioninLove.com

*$4.95 US shipping fee applies, $7.95 international.

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Radio Show Monday: Interview with Marcy Neumann

Posted on 10 June 2010 by Dr. Karen

For this month’s LOAIL Radio Show, I will be interviewing Marcy Neumann, creator of Heartlites Incorporated. Marcy is a visionary with the ability to teach people of all ages and genders how to hone their Law of Attraction success and achieve the manifestation success they are looking to enjoy. She has taken the “what now” question expressed by so many and created ‘right here, right now’ tools for bringing it all together. Marcy has created a product for every aspect of life needing improvement, whether that be love, relationships, money or health. Her expertise is in easy application that brings immediate change inspiring hope and belief that we truly can be co-creators of a powerful life!

Just a few short years ago Marcy experienced the beginnings of physical, mental and emotional’ shut-down’ and made the very difficult and painful decision to leave everything that had defined her for about 30 years in order to re-group and tend to the real nature of her dis-ease process. What should have been a period of exacerbation of symptoms during this very stressful time became instead a time of miraculous healing. In fact, Marcy went from just surviving to thriving and in 3 short years created Heartlites Inc., a manufacturing company of spiritual/personal development products based on the powerful methods she developed during this time. She now helps thousands of people heal their lives too with her products and programs.

Marcy brings the LOA into Action. It is her belief that experiential reinforcement is key to learning and creating new skills, perspectives and habits. Marcy’s extensive experience, eclectic background and keen intuitive skills helps people to harness their energy for sure success and teaches them easy, practical tools for everyday use.

Here are the details for the upcoming show:

Monday June 14, 2010 at 12 noon EST
www.timezoneconverter.com
www.blogtalkradio.com/drkaren

Call in number: 347-945-6313

Hit “1″ if you’d like me to see your “hand up” to ask a question

The show will be broadcast live at www.blogtalkradio.com/drkaren. Anyone can download the show free of charge afterwards in case you missed it.

Blessings,
Dr. Karen Kan
www.LawofAttractioninLove.com

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Will Using Visualization Make Him More Romantic?

Posted on 06 June 2010 by Dr. Karen

Dr. Karen,

I got my boyfriend through law of attraction, and had him exactly the way I wanted him to be, he is handsome, intelligent, smart, rich and responsible. But he is not that romantic and isn’t that enthusiastic towards our relationship and he takes it for granted.

So is it possible through the law of attraction to see these very new things in him that he has never done before to me? My question is – Is it possible to add some new behaviors in your partner just by visualizing it?

Tia

Dear Tia,

In my experience, visualizing what you want is just PART of the manifesting process. If you’ve read my Creating Your Fairytale Love Life eBook, you’ll remember that there are approximately seven steps to the manifesting process. What I’ll share here is complimentary to what I wrote in the book, so I won’t repeat what’s in the book.

It is more than possible through the Law of Attraction to see these “new” behaviors in your relationship. However, it is going to take some effort and discipline on your part to co-create this. This isn’t about him changing as much as it is about you changing. Really.

Visualization is a powerful tool if you can feel it as a “whole body” experience. Imagine ideal (and believable) situations where you are both enjoying the romance of the moment and how that feels in your body. Do the exercise daily. Your partner may notice a mysterious twinkle in your eye afterwards if you’re practicing this successfully. The power of visualizations depends on repetition AND being able to feel it in your body (not just thinking about it in your mind).

Visualizing is just one of many manifesting tools. A crucial step in harnessing the Law of Attraction is consistent ACTION. In other words, visualization without relevant action is not very useful. Here is what I recommend you do next.

Look really hard for behaviors in your partner that you enjoy and like and make sure you give him appreciation for them, each and every time. This means homework on your part. Make it a daily exercise for at least thirty days (so it becomes a habit) to look for things you appreciate about your partner and tell him about it.

Better yet, don’t just tell him your appreciation verbally. Tell him with your body. Melt your body into his, look into his eyes and glow with loving appreciation for those “little” things he does to show his love for you, even if you don’t consider them “romantic”.

Our partners are our mirrors. If you feel he’s been taking you for granted, you’re probably doing the same in his perception, even if it is unconsciously. Look for ways you have been taking him for granted and start correcting your behavior so that you start giving him the recognition YOU’D like to receive yourself.

Next exercise: start doing romantic things for yourself and for him. Bring out your “Goddess”. For example, get yourself a bouquet flowers and if he asks you why, just tell him you did it because it makes you feel feminine and romantic (only if that is true, of course). Take a bath by candlelight and ask him to join you. Start a tickle fight on the couch. Watch a romantic movie then “attack him” with loving kisses afterwards.

Take belly dancing classes and start “practicing” all over the house in your coin skirt, nudging him with your hips as you shimmy by. Offer a foot rub. Leave sticky notes in odd places around the house (like inside the bathroom cabinet) that say, “I love you!” or “I love your butt!” etc.

I want you to have fun with this. If any of these suggestions make you feel uncomfortable….GOOD! You have room to grow!

So let us know what happens!

If anyone reading this blog post has any other suggestions for Tia, please share them by posting a comment to this blog.

Dr. Karen Kan
www.lawofattractioninlove.com

P.S. Are you stuck at all? Do you think you could use some coaching? If you’re interested group tele-coaching, let me know now as I’m forming a coaching group soon. Click here for more information.

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An Indian priest predicted my love life

Posted on 30 May 2010 by Dr. Karen

Dear Dr. Karen,

An Indian priest told me I would never have a long lasting relationship with a man.  I’m tired of having my heart broken. I’m just wondering; what is the purpose of trying when you know it won’t last?

Mona

Dear Mona,

Having your heart broken is indeed tiring if it is something that happens over and over again, and you do not feel you have grown or benefited from the experience. On the other hand, the “most joyful” people on this earth are willing to “try” over and over again and possibly get their hearts broken. Why? Because it is in the journey that they learn the most amazing things about themselves and others.

So the direct answer to your question of “What is the purpose of trying when you know it won’t last?” would be:

“because I learn something new and wonderful about myself and others each time I try…and I become closer to my true Self”

Mona, even though this is the “answer” to your question, we’ll have to go deeper because the actual question you are asking isn’t what you truly want to know, is it?

Here are some other questions for you to ask yourself:

1.  If the Indian priest, whom I trust, tells me that I will never have a long lasting relationship, is that really my fate? Can I not change that fate?

2.  Am I willing to relegate my responsibility to co-creating what I want to another person who tells me it is impossible?

3.  Would I be willing to risk having my “heartbroken” if I knew that it was just part of the journey towards manifesting my ideal relationship?

4.  If my capacity for joy and peace is proportional to my willingness to experience pain and suffering, would I be open to experience what I need to learn in order to get to the other side?

Here’s the thing, Mona. You clearly want something different from what the Indian priest told you, right? So you have a decision to make. Those who have been studying and training the Law of Attraction will tell you that your desire is a powerful magnet to co-creating your reality with the Universe.

Your choices: You decide that you believe whatever the Indian priest says and you cannot change your fate OR you decide that what he/she said was just one perspective but that you choose to believe you can create a different reality.

It is up to you. I, for one, would prefer to create my own destiny. Of course, what we co-create is not in a vacuum…the outcome has to be in the highest good of all in order for it to happen. So in your situation, unless you can come up with a really GREAT reason that the world would NOT benefit from you being in a happy relationship, (maybe there is one, but I can’t think of any) then there is a possibility that you can achieve what you want.

Does that make sense?

Besides, what the Indian priest was “reading” when you saw him/her was your energy field at that moment in time. The energy you emanated was one of lack and disappointment, so it makes sense that your “future” was headed for the same energetic imprint. He/she was correct in their “reading”.

However, your “future” can change moment to moment depending on the average energetic field you are emanating. So to change your “future” you need to shift your current energy field to a higher vibration from one of lack and disappointment to one of gratitude and abundance.

Thus, even though the priest may have been “correct” in his reading at the time, it can become completely wrong if you jump to a new energy stream. And to jump to a new energy stream, all you need to do is start growing.

If all of us do not grow, do you know what we do? We die. Growing or evolving is part of our human journey. Plants are either growing or dying. They don’t stay still. Get it?

So if you’re getting the “same old thing” happening to you in relationships, it either means you haven’t learned from your past relationships and shifted into a higher energy state, or that the perception you have chosen does not serve you in getting you what you want.

Here is a quick exercise you can do immediately to start shifting a perception that doesn’t serve you. Instead of dumping all of your previously heartbreaking relationships into the “that was a waste of time and the only good thing it did was to hurt me” bucket, I want you to make a list of all the GIFTS you were given as a result of those relationships….and I mean EACH AND EVERY ONE.

Are you stumped yet? Or are you excited to start growing?

Can you not appreciate ANY of the gifts? Because there are many. To the extent you can “see” those gifts, you will shift into higher energy state, thereby moving towards (as opposed to away from) manifesting what you want.

Here’s a summary:

  • You can choose to see your past as just “hurts” or as gifts from which you can grow and move closer to what you wish to manifest
  • The priest will be “right” about his prediction if you do not consciously decide that he is not, (you take back the responsibility for co-creating your life instead of giving it to others)
  • You have the power to co-create your reality even it is different from the one the priest told you about
  • You need to move into a higher energy state in order to achieve a reality you have not been able to create previously
  • Working on your personal growth is the way to move into a higher energy state

 

Mona, I challenge you to write down (you can use the comment section below the blog post) every gift you can appreciate from your past “heartbreaking” relationships, so you can move forward. This is just a start. Often we need help in shifting our energy. What you can do is get support from someone who has already accomplished what you wish to accomplish and learn from that person.

I believe in you.

Blessings,

Dr. Karen Kan

www.lawofattractioninlove.com

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Attracting More Money

Posted on 05 February 2010 by Dr. Karen

Dear Dr. Karen,

Money is energy, and I emanate my own energy from within and attract to me what is compatible to my energy frequency, how can I attract money to me so that I don’t end up working myself to the bone only to end up barely above water when I’m an old man?

 

Kelvin

Dear Kelvin,

You are correct in saying that money is energy and that in order to attract money, you must radiate the “ideal” money-coherent frequency. So the good news is that you already UNDERSTAND the concept of what must happen in order to attract money into your life.

The seven steps of manifesting that I teach in my eBook and my Law of Attraction Home Study Course are the same whether you are manifesting love in your life or more money. What I’ve found is that step number 5, which deals with Obstacles, can be the most stubborn when it comes to money.

Many of us grew up with negative money beliefs, some of which we are not even aware of. The subconscious negative beliefs about money and wealth are the MAIN reasons that hamper people from consciously using the Law of Attraction to attract more money. In other words, it isn’t about how much schooling you received, whether you are smart enough or even if you work hard enough. It boils down to your beliefs!

There is a saying amongst Law of Attraction teachers that goes something like this: Your income will be the average of the income of the five closest people you hang out with. Now I’m not saying to go out today and ditch your “poor” friends, but seriously, unless you make an effort to learn to get to know and emulate powerful, enlightened wealthy people, your chances of money success is next to nil!

I’ll share with you what I’ve found most helpful for myself. First is a free teleseminar about your money beliefs and how they affect your success:

www.secretstomoney.info

Next is a list of books I recommend that you start devouring immediately!

  • Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, T. Harv Eker
  • Millionaire Maker, Loral Langemeier
  • Cash Machine for Life, Loral Langemeier
  • The Four Hour Work Week, Tim Ferris
  • Rich Dad, Poor Dad, Robert Kiyosaki
  • Put More Cash in Your Pocket, Loral Langemeier
  • Who Do You Think You Are? Keith Leon

Here’s some general pointers:

  • You need to learn to take interest in managing money, even if you have to fake it initially. The Universe will not give you MORE until you have demonstrated that you can handle more.
  • Clarity breeds better intentions. If you don’t know what your “profit-loss” numbers are on a monthly basis, start doing this today. It isn’t hard (check out Millionaire Maker for instructions)
  • Money does not come into chaos.
  • If you don’t good reasons for the amount of money you want to attract, you won’t get it. So become clear on what you wish to DO with the money and how much it will actually cost.
  • The people who get paid the most usually help the most people.
  • Change your money language.

Notice what you said above: so that I don’t end up working myself to the bone only to end up barely above water when I’m an old man?

 

That sentence is chock full of old beliefs and attitudes that no longer serve your higher purpose. Can you see that now? What I’m hearing is the belief that one must work HARD (to the bone even!) for a LONG time to earn lots of money. The “barely above water” is a really strong SCARCITY phrase and I encourage you to get rid of this type of language from your vocabulary starting right now.

There are big No-No phrases if you’re using the Law of Attraction to attract more money:

 

  • We can’t afford it (if you say it, it will be true for you)
  • That’s too expensive (scarcity energy)
  • Must be nice! (to be able to afford such-and-such…envy energy)
  • Money doesn’t grow trees (of course it does…it is made of paper isn’t it?)
  • I just want enough to be comfortable (comfort is highly overrated and not a single wealthy person got there by being comfortable!)
  • Materialism is bad (no it isn’t, it just depends on your intentions)
  • Money is the root of all evil (money is just energy remember?)

Here are positive things to do:

  • When you see someone who seems wealthy, appreciate them instead of being envious – and tell yourself, if they can do it, so can I
  • Appreciate beautiful material things, even if you don’t plan on buying them. Anti-materialism will keep you poor for sure!
  • Grow out of your comfort zone and get some professional coaching to help you find out what your passions are and how you can make money from them.

Learning how to become wealthy requires intensive but FUN study. You’ll learn to use your GIFTS in a way that serves as many people as possible. It is part of your Life Mission!

I believe in you.

Dr. Karen Kan

PS:

February is LOVE month, so I’d like to share a valuable offer. As most of you know, Haiti and those that lost loved-ones have been on our minds and in our prayers since the earthquake in January. For the month of February, I’m donating 50% of the profits from my eBook and Law of Attraction Home Study Course sales to Haiti.

Please help me in giving to them (as well as giving to yourself)! Here are the links:

Creating Your Fairytale Love Life eBook

Law of Attraction in Love Home Study Course

Thank you in advance!

Blessings,

Dr. Karen


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Why Am I Attracting Things I Don’t Want?!

Posted on 15 December 2009 by Dr. Karen

After some deliberation of what’s been “going on” in the world lately, I decided to defer this month’s teleseminar topic regarding Sexual Polarity until 2010. Instead, the topic this Thursday will be
 
Why Am I Attracting Things I Don’t Want? Advanced Law of Attraction.
 
I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there has been some chaotic energy running around lately. Lots of people getting sick, hospitalized, dying…intense weather patterns around the world. Last week I had a young patient burst out in tears for no reason in my office and later at our dance class, another child cried and whined uncharacteristically. My own honey had an emotional “blow-up” at the rink and several friends were having intense PMS.
 
Did you feel it?
 
Guess what? If you did, maybe you thought it was “all you”. Well, it isn’t. We’re all connected remember? I realized a couple years ago that whenever a big typhoon or earthquake hit anywhere in the world, I’d become uncharacteristically “sleepy-tired” for days. Usually I couldn’t pin point the cause until some newsflash over the internet caught my eye as I was internet surfing for unrelated information.
 
So this week’s teleseminar is going to talk all about this kind of stuff. If you’ve had questions like:
  • I’m making my Law of Attraction intentions and it seems like the opposite to what I want is happening?
  • I’m doing everything I’m supposed to according to what I’ve read on the Law of Attraction, but nothing is working!
  • How come my life became a “disaster” after just making one intention/wish?
  • When things I don’t want “appear” in my life, does that mean I did something wrong? or does it mean I should change my direction?
  • When obstacles appear that block what I want, what should I do? Does it mean what I want is not good for me?
  • If we attract everything in our lives, how can you say an innocent baby attracted sexual abuse? 

Please join me for the last Law of Attraction teleseminar of the year! The details are below:

 

Thursday December 17, 2009
7:30PM – 8:25PM EST
/EDT
(
www.timezoneconverter.com)
Conference Call number 712-432-3900
Conference Access Code 7677512#

 

If you can’t make it, you can access the recording free of charge if you are a MEMBER of Law of Attraction in Love.
 
Please join me Thursday! I’ll be making a special offer at the end, so you don’t want to miss it. First come first serve!
 
Blessings,
Dr. Karen Kan

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The man I’m attracted to is wonderful by phone, but a Dud in person!

Posted on 27 October 2009 by Dr. Karen

Dear Dr. Karen,

(long letter is paraphrased below)

I wanted to manifest a man who had strong ties to Italy. I successfully connected with an attractive man via an internet forum. I’ve never “dated” this way before, so this was new. He connected with me daily via SMS, phone, email, msn and often left romantic messages. He even made the effort to try to help me with visa issues for a job interview in his home country of Italy.

Finally, when I showed up in Italy, he seemed to suddenly change! He seemed cold and distant. When we met, he hardly looked at me. He was so shy. In fact, he barely took time out of his schedule to spend time with me! I was shocked after all the time we spent communicating by phone etc. What was even more shocking was that when I went home, he started messaging me again! I got so angry and upset!

I’m not an ugly woman. I have many wonderful traits, but this guy..made me feel like crap and I cannot get over this. I felt too bad and I do not know why he did what he did! Now what I want to know is if I could change this situation with the law of attraction?

Please help me..am so desperate..

Thanks,
Too confused to understand Men!

Dear “Too Confused”,

I can see how frustrated you are with this situation. It is as if this man is two different people. One the phone and through email and messages he is attractive in every way and attentive and loving. But in person, he is scared, distant and totally unavailable!

Well, this is a painful lesson for you. People can often use the “safety” of distance (not face-to-face) contact to express their fantasies, but eventually, a relationship needs to be able to grow past all that. This man you attracted is far from ready to be attentive to you in “real” life. He lives in a fantasy world online and you just happen to fall into a trap. It isn’t that he meant for it to be a trap, it is just that his world is not REAL.

You deserve a REAL relationship with someone who is willing to be who he REALLY is face-to-face with you. This Italian man is clearly very shy and has not had much practice in being in real relationships. He is intimidated, but that is not your fault. You do not have to make yourself smaller just so he can feel more confident. He is like a child at this point…not meaning any harm, but not able either to be an ADULT in the relationship.

You have lots of red flags here that are telling you to abandon the relationship as soon as possible. The fact that you still linger means that on the subconscious level, your self-esteem is low and that you do not feel you deserve better..otherwise you would have dropped him like a hot potato and moved on.

But it’s OK if you haven’t yet. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself. Understand that by hoping he would change, you are asking someone to be who they are not…which is not very loving or attractive. This is how you use the Law of Attraction. Let go of what clearly isn’t serving you (otherwise you give the message to the Universe that you deserve to be treated in a way that is less than loving). Then start again with your wish list and ADD the criteria to the list you missed in your first “try”.

So you may wish to add, “a man that is able and willing to connect with me on a mature level” or something even more specific.

By letting go of this relationship, you will harness the law of attraction by giving the message that this is NOT good enough for you. Move on. That means ending the relationship. Don’t even stay friends since you’re still feeling hurt. It is energy that is draining you from your true desires. Just let him know that after your meeting, you’ve realized that you’re both not on the same page and that you need to move on and make a clean break. Wish him well, then say goodbye. It isn’t easy, and he’ll rebel, but it is the best for both of you. Be strong.

You need to learn you deserve more and he needs to learn (for his own benefit) that a fantasy love life doesn’t serve either of you in the end.

If you need help with that, seek the help of a coach like myself or a counselor. I believe in you.

Blessings,
Dr. Karen
P.S. If you haven’t done so already, please connect with me on Twitter and FaceBook!

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Join me Thursday night for a FREE Law of Attraction teleseminar and coaching call

Posted on 13 October 2009 by Dr. Karen

It’s been a super-busy month and a fun one at that. I hope you can join me this Thursday evening for a FREE 50 minute teleseminar and coaching session focused on everything to do with the Law of Attraction. This call will be recorded and available in the MEMBERS section of the Law of Attraction website soon afterwards in case you can’t make the call but want to listen to it.

Here’s some of the questions you may wish to ask and the material we’ll cover

  • When synchronicities happen in my life, what do they mean and what should I do when it happens?
  • What CAN the Law of Attraction do for you and what CAN’T it do for you.
  • Why even Law of Attraction gurus/teachers can have “bad” things happen to them and what it means for you?
  • How many negative thoughts do you have to have before you manifest negative things in your life?
  • If someone is really powerful or a great manifester, will they overpower YOUR wishes or intentions?
  • Why are we taught that we need only ask the Universe once for what we want yet are also told to focus daily on what we want? Is there some controversy here?
  • When “bad” things happen to “good” people…what does that all mean?
  • Can you really use the Law of Attraction to bring back an old relationship?

The format for this month’s teleseminar will be a little different in that whoever is on the call will have priority to ask his or her Law of Attraction questions LIVE and I will coach you personally. Depending on the number of people on the call, we’ll probably spend about 5-7 minutes per person so we can get through some of our material.

What’s great about this group-format coaching is that one: it’s free! Second, you get your question answered personally by me. No need to wait days, weeks or months to see it published on my blog or newsletter. Thirdly, it helps others by listening to your questions and hearing how I coach you.

Here’s the teleseminar info for Thursday:

Thursday October 15th 7:30PM – 8:20PM
Conference number 712-432-3900
Access Code 7677512#

If you have Skype, you don’t have to pay long distance charges. I look forward to speaking with you then!

And by the way, today we had our Ask Dr. Karen segment on Blog Talk Radio Law of Attraction in Love show where I answered a bunch of great questions from people, so please check it out and listen to the archives at www.blogtalkradio.com/drkaren

Blessings,
Dr. Karen Kan
PS. please connect with me on Twitter! www.twitter.com/karenkan

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