Tag Archive | "law of attraction in love"

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Dear Dr. Karen: Not Having “Luck” With the Law of Attraction for 8 Months

Posted on 27 March 2008 by Dr. Karen

Hi there!I’m getting some awesome questions in my “Ask Dr. Karen” box on the home page..so thank you for trusting in me. I want to help as many people as possible – and I intend to answer each question I get either in my weekly newsletter, blog or radio show. So if you don’t see your question answered here right away, I might be saving it for the radio show.What’s great about the radio show is that I can answer your questions in more detail, so if I continue to get as many questions as I’ve been receiving lately, I’ll spend an entire show coaching based on these questions. If you want some free “live” coaching on the air, I encourage you to call in during the live radio broadcast if at all possible so we can do it interactively. That way you get a little bit of free coaching AND others get to benefit from your example. Of course, I’ll only ask your first name, so we’ll keep it as anonymous as possible.Here is a letter from Devon, who writes:

“Hi Dr. Karen, I watched The secret about 8 months ago, and since then have had limited “luck” with the law of attraction. One area in my life that I have had challenges with is definitely romantic relationships. My last relationship was over a year ago. and I haven’t had much success since. I’m 22 and I don’t know what it is that I’ve been doing wrong. Since having watched The Secret, I have tried visualizing my perfect partner, feeling the feeling of love, writing down certain qualities that I want in t a partner, etc. but to no avail. If you have any wisdom you could share would you please let me know.” Kind Regards, Devon

Dear Devon,

Let me assure you that you are not doing anything wrong. Why do I know that? It is because I’ve questioned myself countless times the same way in the past and thought that it was my fault when something didn’t go the way I planned. In actuality, although we have influence in manifesting our lives, our realities are co-manifested with spirit. Sometimes the outside world doesn’t “look” like what we thought it should, and then we get down about ourselves and give up trying.

When I was consciously manifesting my dream partner, I felt like I was on a roller coaster sometimes! Months would go by and although I was definitely growing beyond my comfort zone during that time, the “results” weren’t showing. It wasn’t until a year later that I finally met James…and then I initially rejected him because he didn’t figure skate! I had some help from The Universe (in the form of a movie Cutting Edge II and a friend) who opened my mind to the possibility that James could be the one I asked for. With utter faith (and no guarantees) I took the plunge…and I’m so glad I did!

Devon, I encourage you to continue visualizing, feeling the love and get more and more clear about what you want in your dream love. You are envoking the law of attraction in love when you do those things. Can you do it daily? a couples times a day even? Can you make your visualization so real and routine that sometimes, you actually don’t feel the need to have a partner because you feel as if you already do? It sounds weird, but close to the time I met James, I was in a space of not really caring whether my dream partner showed up at all. I just felt “complete” regardless. Of course I still wanted the romantic skating partner BUT I wasn’t attached to when it was going to happen!

Here are some possiblities for you to think about “why”, (if you must understand “why”) you don’t have your partner yet (and I’m not saying these are true – just read them and see if one or two of them resonates with you):

1. You are very close and on the brink of discovery. The Universe is just waiting for a show of faith from you. Action step: keep doing what you are already doing but increase the intensity of your visualization AND do some of the Acting As If exercises in Chapter 4 in Creating Your Fairytale Love Life.

2. You may have some emotional baggage left from past relationships including parental relationships that is in the way of what you want to manifest. In other words, you need to shift your own vibration a little more to match what you’ve written down about the other person. Action step: gently check in with yourself if there is any residual unresolved feelings from a past relationship that could be affecting you now. You may wish to take the quiz in Chapter 5 on Obstacles.

3. The Universe and your spirit expect you to grow, and is waiting… My guess is that you may not have grown into your own power yet and that’s OK. Let me ask you this: What is your life path about? What were you born to do, do you think? How is your life going to serve the world? What is your passion? Action step: identify and follow through on developing your own passions, regardless of how popular or interesting they are to others. Your dream partner will follow along on those lines. I highly recommend The Passion Test by Janet and Chris Attwood.

4. You may not have enough vacuum or space in your life for someone yet. You may not have space in your outer world (you are extremely busy and have no “down” time) or in your inner world (old baggage from past relationships or current relationships). The Universe needs space to deliver your gift to you and it takes conscious effort to create space. I certainly resisted creating space BIG TIME!! But I didn’t get James until I finished doing that second-to last-step in the manifesting process…

Devon, I hope that was helpful and I look forward to possibly chatting with you on my radio show!

Best, Dr. Karen Kan

P.S. most of us are better at manifesting in one area of our lives than another so be patient. Be grateful for the times when you do manifest things you want (even if it is “small”) – all things, big or small, are considered of equal importance the Universe, so pay attention to even the small things.

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Too Short To Be Lovable?

Posted on 07 March 2008 by Dr. Karen

I decided to include this heartfelt letter as part of my blog. Mr. P. writes:“Hi Dear Dr. Karen. I am 22 y.o. Iranian, height 166 cm and Weight 120 kg. I am so depressed because I think no girl or woman on the planet will love me. I don’t have a girlfriend. I think that my entire problem is caused by my short stature. I have thought about suicide four times, help me..”Dear Mr. P.,I am easily able to feel your deep sadness. In fact, I had a little cry just to release the feeling from my body. I understand your sadness. I’ve been there before my friend. You are not as alone as you think.

As part of my healer work, I asked the Angels to help you. Two volunteered to be by your side, day and night. I don’t know if you can feel their presence, but they want you to know that you are loved. It’s OK even if you don’t believe in Angels. I’ve seen many a miracle in my life, so I have no doubt they exist.

Now, let’s take a look at your beliefs. Beliefs manifest our reality. I love the saying “I’ll See it when I believe it” which is why I put the quote on a T-shirt at my Law of Attraction Store. Mr. P., your belief is that no woman would ever love you because of your height. I’m assuming that you are judging your height as being too short, right?

Can I ask you one question? Would you be willing to change your beliefs? In other words, would you be willing to let go of the belief that you can’t be loved because you are “too short”? You see, in your reality, it may feel “true”, but that is because you have created your reality with your belief. In my world, I see plenty of short men who are happily in relationship. In fact, my friend Garry is shorter than you are and is an Asian man.

I grew up with the belief in my Chinese culture that tall women were very unattractive. My mother told me that because she is taller than most Chinese men. She spent the greater part of her life hunched over to hide her tallness. Nowadays she looks like a model. In the North American culture, she is absolutely stunningly beautiful at 5 foot 7 inches! See, in my culture, it was the woman’s height that was the issue, not the man’s! My friend Garry is happily married to a Caucasian woman who is at least 4 inches taller and they have a beautiful little girl.

When you believe something, the Universe will rearrange itself to make you RIGHT. In my eBook, Creating Your Fairytale Love Life in Chapter 5, I show you some techniques you can use to “change” your belief state, so you may wish to take advantage of the exercises and videos in that chapter.

I can tell you that in my world, Mr. P., there is no such thing as too short, too tall, too weird, too fat etc. Everyone can and deserves to be loved. The question is –  do you love yourself?

The girlfriend that you wish for is not there to give you what you cannot give yourself (love). Many people (so you are not alone) are looking for someone to love them so they will feel lovable. The opposite needs to happen in order to manifest a wonderful relationship. You must love and appreciate yourself first in order to attract the wonderful relationship.

There is a Secret nobody told us when we were kids. The “other” person in a relationship is not there to make us whole! They are not supposed to be responsible for making us happy or feel loved. Nope! Do you want to know the real purpose for relationships? The REAL purpose for relationships is to grow ourselves spiritually…that’s it. That’s all.

So Dear Mr. P. You may not believe me, but you are already loved. The substance from which we all come, that which I call The Universe (others call The One, God, Divine etc.) loves you. Now it is your turn to love you.

If you REALLY want change, here is your homework assignment. I really hope you take this challenge and run with it: For the next 30 days, everyday create a list of at least 10 things you love and appreciate about yourself. While you are writing, if any negative thought comes up, just say “cancel” or “pass” and keep writing, focusing on the positive. It could be that you appreciate yourself because you have great rhythm and you love to dance, or that you are extremely kind to your parents, or that you absolutely love history books etc. It doesn’t matter what it is, just make a new habit of appreciating yourself daily.

While you are writing, remember to really FEEL the feelings of appreciation. It is the MAGNETIC substance that draws what we want into our lives. The truth in my situation was that when I began truly appreciating my qualities rather than criticizing myself most of the time, it was the start of the happiest time of my life.

Lastly, Mr. P. I highly recommend that you consider taking the Enlighted Warrior Training Camp http://www.enlightenedwarrior.com  run by Peak Potentials training. Year after year there are stories of people on the edge of suicide when they arrive at the camp and they leave a completely changed person…strong, compassionate and empowered. You can receive a discount on tuition, I believe, by being referred by a graduate so I will give you my referral number: 232364.

It is important for you to receive support. Having suicidal thoughts is very serious and I urge you to seek professional care as soon as possible. Talk to your doctor and ask for a referral to an empathetic counselor or psychologist. I also suggest that you read the new bestseller by Marci Shimoff, Happy for No Reason.


Dr. Karen

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Appreciation and the Law of Attraction

Posted on 25 February 2008 by Dr. Karen

One of the fastest ways to get what you want is to practice the art of appreciation more often. If you are single and passionately want to be coupled, you can still appreciate your life the way it is now. You can appreciate your independence, your openness to personal growth, your other relationships, and many other things about yourself. I love this saying:What you appreciate, appreciates!This pertains well with manifesting and keeping your dream partnership and deliberately harnessing the law of attraction! When you see a happy couple, do you appreciate their loving closeness, or do you resent them for having what you don’t have yet? If you are a little envious, that is understandable, but see if you can turn it into appreciation. Why? Because The Universe “hears” appreciation as the signal that something is important to you…and it will bring you more of that which you appreciate!

For example, if you are wanting to lose 30 pounds, it is a better practice to appreciate all the slim bodies you see in your life rather than becoming jealous or envious of them. Think to yourself, “wow, I love that person’s body! Good for him/her for keeping it in such good shape!” as opposed to a snide, “Oh, must be nice to be skinny and not have to worry about your weight!”

Let me tell some of the things I appreciate about my partner, James. I appreciate that he ALWAYS stops whatever he is doing to help me find something in the house that I’ve lost (and he enjoys it!). I appreciate how he makes my Teccino (herbal coffee) every night after dinner as my treat and how he lovingly brings it to the computer room where I’m busy at work. I appreciate how he almost always agrees to massage my sore muscles when I wake up in the morning. I appreciate how he walks in the bedroom and greats me with a kiss and hug each morning as he hears me awaken. I appreciate how he loves to chop wood and shovel snow and how I don’t have to lift a finger when it comes to heavy manual labor! I appreciate how he loves to go to personal growth seminars with me and how actively he participates in everything I love to do.

Ok, I could go on and on, but you get the picture. Here’s an idea. Make a long list of everything you appreciate in your DREAM partner-to-be!! That’ll really get the law of attraction working for you!

Love and Blessings,

Dr. Karen

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Check Out the Eight Foot Snow Heart Sculpture James Made!

Posted on 14 February 2008 by Dr. Karen

Big Snow Heart Sculpture

Click on the link above to see the photo of the awesome snow sculpture James surprised me with on my Valentine Birthday! I’m always amazed at the wonderful ways he surprises me and I feel very blessed.Today I was also blessed by Spirit. I was invited to play African drums as part of an African dance class led by our dance teacher to help residents in a drug and rehab facility. They’ve never danced like this before! It was such a special birthday gift to see their smiling faces, laughing and enjoying themselves as they danced like crazy. It was such a privilege to spend my birthday “giving” to other and witnessing their joy!

Having manifested my dream partner, I find myself sharing with him these awesome special moments. Let me help you manifest your dream partner. My eBook launched today on this site. I hope you enjoy it. Sign up for the free downloads and get an excerpt of the book absolutely free.

Love & Blessings!

Dr. Karen

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Healing Relationships Through Telepathy

Posted on 04 February 2008 by Dr. Karen

I learned an incredible “gift” from my intuition and law of attraction teacher, Laura Day, author of bestselling book, Practical Intuition. She taught me “telepathy”.Now, even though telepathy sounds “special”, it really isn’t. We do it all the time. We just don’t know we are doing it unconsciously! You see, every thought we have about a person is a form of telepathy. If you think, “Ugh, that lady is fat!” guess what? She actually hears that telepathically!In Dr. Bernie Siegel’s book Love, Medicine & Miracles, he tells us that patients under anesthesia who heard a recording during surgery telling them that they would feel fine after surgery had a much lower complication rate than those that did not hear the message.When you realize that everyone actually FEELS everything you think, you have a good incentive to monitor your thoughts and keep them as positive as possible! It has been shown with muscle testing that saying something negative to someone will actually weaken his/her electromagnetic field and the opposite, saying something positive, will strengthen him/her.

The BEST telepathy I’ve found is what Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks calls Tel-empathy in their book, Lasting Love. If you are having a tough time with someone in your life, this is a perfect opportunity to practice this type of telepathy. Here’s what you do. You get out a blank piece of paper and write their name at the top. Then you write a letter starting with Dear __________. Think of all the ways you appreciate them (even if it is tough to do) and do your best empathizing with their point of view in writing your letter. You don’t have to agree with them or condone their actions, but just do your best to understand their intentions.

Most people have good intentions and are not out to hurt you.If you can feel sincere while writing this letter, it is VERY powerful. In fact, I’ve had an instance where a patient of mine who was having trouble with her ex-husband experienced a complete turn-around from her ex- after we did this exercise together in the office one day. She was so angry and stressed, she was sending him “stressed” energy. Of course he resisted her! Once we calmed her down (I used acupuncture for that!) and sent him the message that she wasn’t out to get him but just wanted fairness and peace of mind, he gave her exactly what she wanted in the divorce settlment! It was amazing.

So remember, everyone hears everything you think. You affect people with the positivity or negativity with your thoughts. Be healing upon the world and focus on the positive.

Love & Blessings,

Dr. Karen

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