Tag Archive | "happiness"

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Discover the Secrets of Happy Couples

Posted on 01 February 2011 by Dr. Karen

With Kim Olver’s new book, Secrets of Happy Couples: Loving Yourself, Your Partner, and Your Life, you’ll have a more loving and satisfying relationship. Because of my relationship with Kim, you got a sneak peak at the valuable advice in the book via the Law of Attraction in Love Radio Show on Monday January 31st when I interviewed Kim before the official launch of her book! If you didn’t get a chance to catch it live, you can listen to or download the archives for f’ree!

Secrets of Happy Couples explains:

  • Exclusive insights and suggestions gained by researching and surveying happy couples
  • Practical advice from a range of experts synthesized into learnable lessons
  • Tips for identifying problems and what to do about them
  • A unique and novel 3-step process for surviving affairs
  • The power of moving beyond “tolerating” differences to truly appreciating them
  • How to meet your partner’s needs and your own at the same time

PLUS!  If you purchase TODAY you will receive more than 60 phenomenal free gifts valued at over $3,500.00! But you must purchase NOW to get your free gifts! Go to  http://www.SecretsofHappyCouples.com

I wholeheartedly recommend this book to people looking for a more satisfying relationship in their lives (and that’s not just because I was one of the “experts” interviewed for the book)!  Whether you are looking for your ultimate love relationship or hoping to improve the one you already have, Secrets of Happy Couples will provide you with a roadmap to a happy, fulfilling and satisfied relationship.

Blessings,

Dr. Karen Kan

PS This is one of the books I will be recommending from now on, to everyone, as one of their relationship “bibles”. Why? Because the information in it is FUNDAMENTAL. Kim has done a wonderful job putting this book together and it is an easy read.

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Dear Dr. Karen: How Can I Make A Man Faithful?

Posted on 24 August 2009 by Dr. Karen

Dear Dr. Karen,

I’m so happy to ask you this question because it’s on my mind for several months. When a man cheats a woman, is it because of his character or because of the woman who is afraid of it and hence attracts it into her life? Can I make every man being faithful when I believe in it?

Thank you.
With love
Nicole

Dear Nicole,

Great questions and I’m glad you’re asking. This is a subject I enjoy talking about in my teleseminars and radio shows so I urge you to listen in on both to get the “full scoop” on my thoughts on the subject.

It is indeed true that when I woman is AFRAID of a man cheating on her, she WILL attract men who cheat on her. It usually stems from a pattern of abandonment that occurred early in her youth or, as I’ve discovered, a pattern that her mother suffered and she witnessed. Sometimes when children witness their parents’ struggles, they start embodying them as their own.

I had just that happen to me. My mother was very distrustful of men in general and no wonder. Her father was a cheat and liar, but was so incredibly charming you could barely resist him. I grew to distrust men as well and thus helped to co-create a distrustful relationship with my first husband. I have since done a lot of internal work on myself so I’m learning to let go of my old programming.

Whether or not the man has a character flaw is irrelevant. If you are afraid of cheating, cheating will follow you around wherever you go because of the Law of Attraction. FEAR is a powerful magnet.

You want to know how you can make a man faithful. The answer: you can’t. In fact, the one thing men value most is freedom. Listen to Satyen Raja’s interview here. The worst thing you can do is to put limits on a man. So what does that mean?

Well, the grand majority of men and a growing number of women, if given the opportunity, would prefer to have sexual relations with more than one person while in a committed long-term relationship with someone. However, our society frowns on such behavior and frankly, our current level of conscious relating and communicating is so poor that I would be reticent to suggest that most people could be highly successful at open relationships.

That being said, the best way to be happy is for you to let go of the notion that in order for you to be happy, you need a man to be faithful to you. The less constraining your attitude is towards your partner, the more attractive you become. I swear this is true! It is their nature! Why fight it?

We have been conditioned in our society to value monogamy because somehow we were taught that monogamy or serial monogamy meant a higher valued relationship. I have seen, however, through observing countless relationships, that fidelity, has nothing to do with quality and happiness in the relationship. Most people don’t understand that fidelity is not the source of happiness. You are your OWN source of happiness.

Using Law of Attraction affirmations for fidelity or faithfulness only serves to enhance your chance of it backfiring on you. Why? Because you are FOCUSED on cheating when you are asking for someone who is faithful to you (as it implies that you are afraid)! What you focus on grows!

Instead, focus on attracting someone who is committed to fully loving and appreciating you and don’t even worry about cheating (easier said than done given your upbringing and programming). Focus on a relationship built on honesty…which means that you’d tell him that you’d rather know if he wants to cheat and you’d lovingly respect him for it instead of hiding it from you. And of course the reciprocal would be true.

I know what I’m suggesting is foreign to most people. I highly recommend you read Neale Donald Walsh‘s series, Conversations with God, especially book 1 and 2 as well as his book on Relationships for more thorough discussions of this topic!

Thank you again Nicole for your questions.

Blessings,
Dr. Karen

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Dear Dr. Karen: How Do I Use the Law of Attraction to Get a Doctor as My Partner?

Posted on 25 May 2009 by Dr. Karen

Dear Dr. Karen,

Greetings.

How do I use the law of attraction to get a Doctor as my life partner? how should be my daily affirmations be? my family is looking for proposals and I desire to marry a doctor. so pls advise me.

Shana

****

Dear Shana,

Let me ask you a question before I answer you. If a man you knew only wanted to marry a blond American model with a bust size of 34C, what would you say to him? Would you judge him shallow? Unintelligent? Inflexible?

Let me ask you another question. Why do you want to marry a doctor? Because you’ve always wanted to be one and you couldn’t, so this is second best? Because you think somehow it will bring you financial security? (It doesn’t by the way..I’m a doctor and most I know are eyeballs in debt!) Because it will make your family happy and stop pestering you to get married? Or because somehow it will make you seem like a worthy person in the eyes of others?

Why am I asking you these questions? Because The Universe will NEED to know your WHY. You don’t need to tell me, but you do need to be brutally honest with yourself (and thus the Universe) as to the why. If your WHY is big enough AND resonates with your soul’s wish AND is in the highest and best interest of all, then you will manifest your dreams.

Let me present you with my guesses as to what this is all about. When I was a little girl, it was considered prestigious to marry a doctor. I suppose it still is. The belief at the time was that I would have an easy time after marriage…my husband would take care of the finances and I could just relax my way to happiness. It would make me look “lucky” if I snagged one and I would have fur coats and diamond rings like my mother always wanted for herself (but she married a teacher, so she had to buy these things herself!). I would live the life of luxury.

Well, I decided that I didn’t want to be someone’s trophy wife, so instead I became a doctor myself. And then I got to witness firsthand what the life of a doctor is like and what the family has to endure. Let’s just say that being the traditional doctor’s wife (or husband) is a thankless job. Being a wife is worse because of our societal expectations of women in general. Traditionally, the wife takes care of the finances, childcare, volunteering, cooking, cleaning and the husband who could be grumpy and tired after working 36 hours in a row. Yes, there are some material perks, but with a partner who isn’t available, how fun is that?

OK, well the modern doctor’s marriage is a little better for women here in N. America at least. There is more equality and the guys pitch in to help around the house more.

But you know what, it isn’t any easier than marrying a non-doctor. Doctor’s wives are just as happy or unhappy as anyone else and have more stressors. More is expected of them. They are “just the wife” in the eyes of others and that is a tough place to be if your spouse is the “hero” doctor and you are not.

A doctor is simply just another person. He may earn more than the average person, but he also works more than the average person – between 60-100 hours a week. If you are marrying him just for his “money”, you won’t be very happy. I can guarantee that!

Besides, the best way to marry into wealth is to become wealthy yourself. Like attracts like. That’s the law of attraction. If you don’t resonate those vibrations, you won’t be able to attract it!

So a more appropriate affirmation would be: “I am abundantly wealthy and happy, married to a man who loves and adores me”

And after all that I’ve said, if you are still wanting to marry a doctor, then your BEST chance bar none is to go to medical school and become one. Many of my doctor colleagues married each other! Why? Because if you are spending 100+ hours a week seeing no one else except colleagues and patients, who else do you date????

Blessings,

Dr. Karen Kan

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Dear Dr. Karen: I’m Unhappy But I Can’t Leave My Partner…

Posted on 13 October 2008 by Dr. Karen

Hi Dr. Karen,

I am in a relationship I don’t want to be in. I care for the person a lot but I have needs and wants and they are not being taken care of. I realize I have choices, but he needs me I cannot just leave him. I do not want to be the reason something worse will happen to him. My energy is at a standstill, I am really interested in Reiki I have been reading up on it, I need the energy, I need to heal myself to be able to be strong and get out of a relationship I am in. Your Ebook sounds great, right now the money is real tight, I probably wont be able to get the book. I want so much to be able to be happy and live my life the way i want. Men have always made me feel small and not worthy of love and attention I want and need. Iam afraid to do what I want. What do you think I can do? Thank you. Love and Happiness,
Donna

Dear Donna,

One of the most challenging aspects of being fully responsible for co-creating your life is to let go of the belief that you are responsible for another person’s health and happiness over and above your own. Just because you cannot imagine that your partner could have a happier life without you, doesn’t mean he isn’t capable of it. You do him a great disservice by imagining him as a weakling. You  have co-created a situation where you’ve trapped yourself (and him) to a life that is neither happy nor fulfilling for either of you.

Your belief that he cannot live without you is a disempowering belief that doesn’t serve him. In other words, you are literally taking away his power to act on his own behalf by your choices and how you perceive him. Instead, try to perceive your partner as a person who has the potential to be responsible for his own happiness.

Have the courage to choose your path and own up to your responsibility to make yourself happy instead of accepting the victim role in your life circumstances..and in that process, pray and believe that the Universe will step in and help those you care about. When my husband and I departed ways as a couple, I had similar concerns. My husband had depressive tendencies and I was concerned that he would be very depressed without me. Nevertheless, I decided to be responsible for my own happiness and left the marriage despite warnings from my parents that all hell would break loose. Despite my own deep depression at the time, on some level, I had faith that The Universe would step in and create a miracle. And a miracle it did create!

Not only did my husband NOT become deeply depressed, he developed his own personal growth journey. He went to Spain to learn new skills and at the same time got introduced to a spiritual practice including yoga. He then expanded himself by reading books on spirituality and continuing his yoga practice at home. And he finally manifested his dream love partner – a rugged woman who is both a yoga teacher and a spiritual explorer. And best of all, she is a much better match for him than I ever could be. Had I not decided to leave the marriage, he would never have found his dream partner.

So Donna, you have to TRUST the Universe. Your partner will learn to survive without you – and you can help him by believing in him. His dependency on you is neither healthy or empowering. He may struggle for a bit, but struggle is not always a bad thing. It is only when we reach a degree of intense discomfort that we finally choose to change our ways. Isn’t that right?

You are a loving caring soul. Jesus taught us to love thy neighbor as thyself. He didn’t say love thy neighbor MORE than thyself. Learn to love yourself fully. Accept whatever faults you have (none of us are perfect). And with courage and faith, more forward with your life. Seek counseling and support to help you.

I believe in you.

Blessings,

Dr. Karen Kan

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Here’s a Shortcut to Manifesting What You Want!

Posted on 21 January 2008 by Dr. Karen

James and I recently returned from Los Angeles where we were privileged to be a part of the Master Your Mind seminar hosted by Peak Potentials and bestselling author and wealth trainer, T. Harv Eker. There we learned that being happy is a PRACTICE. We know from the law of attraction that being happy NOW creates the vibrations we need to attract what we want, including a wonderful love partnership.

What I didn’t appreciate until I hear it at the seminar, was that being happy was a practice, just like learning skating, yoga or a musical instrument (or in my case, learning how to fashion websites!). According to bestselling author, Marci Schimoff, who spoke at the seminar, 40% of our happiness is learned from our experience, 10% is situation and 50% is genetic. In her new book, Happy For No Reason, she shows us how we can  become happy for the long haul by changing the 40% that we have control over.

Happiness is not dependent upon your situation, she tells us, but comes from within…the thoughts you tell yourself day in and day out. Case in point: After we learned a bunch of fabulous new Master Your Mind tools, we were tested immediately on our drive back home from the airport.

We were stopped by a police officer because James was speeding. Now, if you knew James before the Master Your Mind course, you’d understand that James had “authority” issues. His usual response would be to get angry, defensive and fearful towards authority figures, especially when he was “in trouble”. In contrast, while we were pulling the car over, we both remembered that we were taught that ANY situation was AWESOME.

So we decided that we were in for a wonderful personal growth experience. James was respectful and non-defensive toward the police officer, admitting his error. He apologized and took responsibility for his actions without blame. The police officer, in turn, was the kindest police officer James had ever run into, and he gave him a break, lowering his penalty!

Instead of being angry, upset and resentful because he got caught speeding, James became joyful and full of gratitude! He even shook the officer’s hand, sincerely thanking him for his compassion and understanding. As for me, I was in in awe and appreciation for witnessing my partner’s personal growth…a huge quantum leap in a matter of days!

Thank You Universe for presenting us with a personal growth opportunity for us to PRACTICE being happy NOW. And thanks to all the Master Your Mind teachers who gave us wonderful tools to live a happy and prosperous life!

I highly recommend you purchase a copy of Marci Shimoff’s brand new book, Happy For No Reason, where she measures your happiness set-point and through research and story telling, shows you how to elevate your happiness level permanently! You can pick up the book at any bookstore or buy it at my Law Of Attraction In Love Amazon Bookstore.

To Your Happiness,

Dr. Karen

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