Tag Archive | "embodying"

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Can I manifest my partner even though I still live with my family?

Posted on 19 August 2010 by Dr. Karen

Dear Dr Karen,

I have a question regarding taking action in order to manifest my dream partner. I currently live at home with my family and the only action and acting ”as if” steps I have been able to take are sleeping on one side of my bed, cleaning out my bathroom drawers and cupboards and leaving an extra toothbrush, towel, face washer and shower puff in my bathroom.

I am working on cleaning out some of my wardrobe space for his clothes and of course, I have written down my dream partner”s laundry list of attributes and qualities and am doing my embodying exercises every day.

My question then is since I still live at home, are these small actions inadequate or not enough? Is there more I should be doing?

Kind Regards,

Dear S,

You’ve done a fabulous job of working on your “acting as if” exercises, and it sounds like your attribute list is specific. So congratulations! Keep on doing your embodying exercises.

Your question is a good one which is why I’m answering it today. So are you asking whether that fact that you live with your family is preventing or detering your dream partner from coming around? That is, that what you’re doing is “not enough”?

If so, the answer is, “It depends”.

Even though on the surface it would seem contradictory to be putting so much effort into manifesting your dream partner while you still live in your parents home…unless you plan to attract someone who also wishes to live in your parents home, all is not lost.

The most important thing you can do is to “practice” the feeling of already having the partner you desire. So the rituals you are practicing is to create the vibrational state of having your partner already.

If you desire him/her to be with you in the home you now live, that is one thing, if not, then visualize (embody) scenarios where you live elsewhere.

That being said, you’ll want to make preparations for moving out of your parents’ home. It doesn’t mean you have to move out immediately, but it means that you need to make some goals and set up a timeline or plan as to when you want to be self-sufficient..even if that means renting a small apartment a mile away.

Why is that important?

Well, in my experience, a person really learns who they are by living on their own and experiencing all their choices first hand without parental interference so to speak. The confidence you gain will help you attract a partner who will not only love you for who you are, but will respect you as well (because you respect yourself).

When you know you can be happy and make it on your own without “someone” you’re leaning on for financial support (for example), you’ll be able to attract a higher level partner who is also able to be happy and confident.

You don’t want to “need” someone. Instead you want to be whole and you want your partner to be whole. Two “whole” people, not two halves.

So keep up the good work with your exercises. Now is the time to keep stretching yourself further. When you feel like you’re risk-taking a bit and you are a little uncomfortable, that usually means you are growing, and you’re headed in the right direction!

If you’re too comfortable (in your parents’ home), that may be a sign that your energy is not expanding big enough to magnetically attract the dream partner that matches your list. Make sense? Of course if you’re 15 years old, moving out may be a bit premature! So use your intuition when reading and interpreting my advice.


Dr. Karen Kan

Comments? Please let me know what other advice you’d like to give or what you think of my post.

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Dear Dr. Karen: Romance in the Workplace?

Posted on 16 March 2008 by Dr. Karen

I received a request for help from Cheryl, who writes:“I am wanting a man I work with to want a relationship with me. We’re friends now, but I want more. How do I do this?”Dear Cheryl,

I am not going to bore you with warnings about the potential conflicts that can arise with “office” romances. I am sure you are well aware of the risks. Counselors caution people about having office romances because of conflicts of interest, favoritism, unprofessional conduct etc. However, as long as you are clear on your boundaries in the office setting and don’t bring relationship “issues” into the workplace so that it disturbs your work, a romantic relationship with a colleague can work.

I’m not going to be popular here when I say that office romances can work. However, I am neither encouraging them nor discouraging them. Each case is individual. From my point of view, it is only natural that we are attracted to others at work – we spend a large amount of time in their presence! On the other hand, there are plenty of fish in the sea and to limit yourself to someone at work maybe doing yourself a disservice.

If I am to answer your question directly about how you could use the law of attraction to manifest a relationship with your coworker, I’d simply recommend a daily meditation where you imagine the two of you together enjoying each other’s company. My preference in your case, however, would be to first get a sense of your co-worker’s willingness to be in a romantic relationship with you. If he is not willing or is not interested, I would respect his preference, give him lots of space, and let him go immediately so you can make space for someone who is interested in being with you.

I prefer efficiency. I don’t like wasting my time. I’m sure your time is valuable too. If I were you, I’d be direct and ask your coworker and tell him that you are attracted to him and you’d like to get to know him better and ask if he’d be willing to go on a date with you. Be prepared for whatever answer comes and don’t get attached to any outcome. If he isn’t interested, it only means that THERE IS SOMEONE ELSE OUT THERE MORE APPROPRIATE for you. Be open to the Universe giving you someone BETTER than what you expect.

The law of attraction can’t be used to get another person to feel a certain way (to be attracted to you, for example). We all have the freedom to choose how we feel and no one can force us to feel a way we don’t want to feel. My preference is to be clear on what kind of qualities you wish to manifest in your partner, and do your daily “embodying” meditation with this in mind…not being attached to a particular person you already know fitting the bill (there maybe someone better!). The Universe is always wiser and more creative than we can imagine. To understand how to create your wish list and how to embody, please refer to chapters 2 and 3 of Creating Your Fairytale Love Life eBook.

When I was really needy for a figure skating partner, I was initially so attached to my former skating partner, that I did not allow the Universe to give me someone else. It was only when I let him go emotionally that I was able to receive James, my new partner – the one that is perfectly matched for me, the gift from Heaven. It took me months to let go of the idea that my former partner and I “should” be together. But once I did, magic happened.

Be well, Cheryl, and good luck!

Dr. Karen

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