Tag Archive | "comfort zone"

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Dear Dr. Karen: What ACTION is required to manifest my new soulmate?

Posted on 17 May 2009 by Dr. Karen

Hi Dr. Kan,

Recently I read somewhere that our thoughts bring us what we seek, but it is only through action that we receive it.

Over the past few weeks I have made my soulmate list and meditations. And now the Universe has brought someone in my life that I can see as a potential life partner. So, in this case what action would I have to take?

Thanks, Ali

Dear Ali,

You’ve asked a really interesting question Ali and that is why I’m addressing it in my blog. One of the “criticism” of the movie, The Secret, is that many who watched it erroneously thought that if they just did the “wishing” part, that what they wanted would just magically fall into their lap.

Now, it doesn’t mean that it isn’t true some of the time, but the nuances of manifesting could not be included in such a short movie. Basically, I’m here to teach you that the BIGGER the outcome you wish for (in your perception), the  BIGGER the ACTION you will likely need to take in order to receive it.

For example, if you are wishing to manifest a cup of coffee from someone, it probably isn’t going to take a lot action to get it, because a cup of coffee is “not a big deal” to most people. On the other hand, manifesting a dream love partner IS a big deal to most people and in their perception, is challenging, difficult or rare. Thus bigger action is required often to fully manifest the dream. And big action often means stretching your comfort zone or your belief structure.

Congrats to you for taking the time to make your soulmate list and for committing to your meditations (for manifesting)! That is already an ACTION that many people don’t even know to take! These are the first two steps to manifesting your ideal love partner from my eBook, Creating Your Fairytale Love Life. If you haven’t picked up a copy, I’d highly recommend it because the later chapters deal with obstacles and how to overcome them.

There are many actions you can take now that you made your list and have done your embodying (meditations). The next step is “acting as if” your soulmate has or will arrive shortly. How will you make space in your life for this person? Have you become all those qualities yourself that you have on that soulmate list? If not, you’d better get cracking!

On a practical level, since you have attracted a prospect that might meet your specifications, your next action step is to see if the glove fits. Get to know this person without attachment to the outcome that he/she is THE one you are looking for.

Have the curiousity to discover who he/she REALLY is, not who you want them to be. I’ve made myself miserable in the past by jumping the gun and being blind to the fact that the person I attracted WASN’T my ideal partner.

Keep in mind that sometimes that even though our soulmates will sense a connection right away, sometimes one of you has some personal growth work to do before you are ready for each other. Check out the Law of Attraction in Love Radio show I did with Keith Leon (especially the first one) on this subject!

Lastly, just take the logical NEXT STEP. You don’t have to know three steps ahead. You don’t have to know if you will be right or wrong. The more attached you are to being “correct” the less you will enjoy the mystery and wondrousness of life. So the next logical step in your case is to get to know the other person better. It’s that simple.


Dr. Karen

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LOA Intensive: Are You Playing Small?

Posted on 22 September 2008 by Dr. Karen

Dr. Karen with two Law of Attraction Intensive participants  


We just had the Law of Attraction One-Day Intensive on Saturday and we had an AWESOME time! I had no idea whether all of the interactive processes I had planned were going to fit into one day. Well, they did! OK, I have to admit, we did play past 9PM, and those who stuck with me for the twelve hours received a special treat! As a gift, they received my eBook, new Reality Hypnosis with Bonus Cleansing Hypnosis download, Law of Attraction Tele-workshops #1-3 download, group tele-coaching and monthly Teleseminar series all for FREE!

I give my students a lot of credit. I had them stretch beyond their comfort zones (I warned them at the beginning that I would!) and most were willing play full-on. But isn’t that what life is about? Are YOU willing to play YOUR life full-on, or are you just going through the motions? Are you too embarrassed to play wildly? Are you too “cool” to be open to new energies and ways of being? Are you too scared to venture out of your comfort zone, even just a little, to get what you want?

One of the lessons at the Law of Attraction Intensive was this: if you want a BIGGER life, you need to be a BIGGER person (I said bigger, not better). And being bigger means stretching yourself past your comfort zone in order to expand your energy. By expanding your energy, the Universe brings you bigger and better things. Expanding your comfort zone also means expanding your consciousness. If you play small, you don’t get the results you want…including your dream love partner.

I had five “young people” at the Law of Attraction Intensive and I appreciate them for being courageous enough to even show up. One of my students, Savanna, who is only 13, had committed to go to her friend’s birthday party earlier in the day, but told me she couldn’t wait to come to the Intensive afterwards. Her enthusiasm and positivity reinforces why I love what I do. It is such a gift to witness the transformation of others.

To all my students – may the Universe bless you with abundance! You deserve it!


Dr. Karen Kan

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Practice, Practice, Practice…Until It Becomes HABIT

Posted on 01 May 2008 by Dr. Karen

I had the most amazing week last week at Train the Trainer – an intense five day course on how to be a top trainer/speaker. My business and life coach had guided me to make the intention (my wish) to be on stage in front of everyone getting coaching by the expert. Although I was scared, I knew that if I wanted to help more people, I needed coaching on stage.So I set the intention. What was really AWESOME was that out of 270 people, the expert picked ME! My intention, having been set days before, helped me manifest my wish easily and quickly. Day after day went by and each day became a miracle. I felt like I was in a dream. I can’t tell you just yet what my BIG wish is for this year (aside from the GOLD medal win at nationals), because I have a contract not to reveal it. But when the time comes, I will let you know.

All I can say is that if I can manifest my dreams, you can too. How? Practice, practice, practice. Practice making intentions and working towards them. Will you always succeed? No. But the practice of intentioning an outcome and then receiving the outcome creates a vibration that, when practiced over and over again, stay with you longer…until it becomes your dominant vibration. When you go for your dreams, no matter what, and ACT AS IF (see Chapter 4 in Creating Your Fairytale Love Life), you will create the habit that the Universe has no choice but to act on your behalf. Why? Because you show the Universe you follow through on your intentions.

Even though I intentioned to be on that stage in front of everyone, was I scared? YES! I was afraid of making the mistakes that I knew I would invariably make in front of everyone, but yet, I didn’t even think twice about raising my hand. I just trusted that the Universe (and my coach) knew what I needed to do to grow big enough to fit into what I’m trying to accomplish later this year. So the practice becomes the practice of STRETCHING yourself outside your comfort zone.

Stay tuned!

Dr. Karen Kan

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