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Dear Dr. Karen: I Always Attract the Wrong Type of Person!

Posted on 28 February 2009 by Dr. Karen

Dear Dr. Karen

I always seem to be attracting the wrong type of person into my life. And the guys that do find me attractive and come into my life are just not right for me. I have tried the law of attraction and watched the secret of a million times but it just doesn’t seem to be working. I just don’t know what’s wrong with me.

Being single has now become the norm for me because after a few dates it just never seems to work. I doubt it’s the way I look because I’m comfortable with the way I look so I just don’t know why I’m still single. I think I have practically everything in my life except the one thing that I want the most and that is someone who I can love. So please, how do I go about achieving this?

I’ve been looking for someone to help me out on this one, please be that person!!!

Many thanks,

JoJo

Dear JoJo,

I hope you were there listening to my teleseminar last week because I dealt with this issue in detail. JoJo, there is nothing wrong with you. You are attracting the same “unattractive” guys to you because of your conditioning/programming from childhood. When we are young and most impressionable, we learn how relationships are supposed to be from the people we interact with the most as children – our parents, school teachers, relatives etc.

Our beliefs are formed from childhood experiences – what we hear, see and experience – and create an unconscious “blueprint” that tells the Universe what kind of person to bring to us. For example, if someone told you at age five that being too smart would drive the boys away, you would unconsciously deny your intellectual talents for fear that no one would be attracted to you.

It is not always easy to “see” our childhood programming without some sort of guidance and a lot of intentionality. In your case, I would highly recommend some serious study on the topic of relationships and some coaching or counseling.

People often make the mistake of thinking that good relationships are supposed to “happen” automatically. Well, they don’t. We have to LEARN how to have a good relationship. I don’t know about you, but in my school, there was never a course called, “Love Relationships 101”!

The law of attraction in manifesting your dream partner includes putting energy in developing your relationship skills. If you’ve watched The Secret and have been diligent in using the seven steps to manifesting from Creating Your Fairytale Love Life, then all it means is that The Universe is waiting for YOU TO BECOME the kind of person you wish to manifest.

If you had a tall wish order like I had, then the Universe will wait until you’ve GROWN to a level of maturity to make that relationship a success.

And please don’t think everyone you’ve dated is a waste, just because it didn’t work out. Think of dating as a personal growth experiment to learn more and more about yourself and to hone your relationship skills. My colleague, Sandi Sain, dated hundreds of men before she was truly READY to manifest her dream partner Bob. And she doesn’t regret one single date! She appreciates them all for what she learned about herself!

So be patient. Learn to see the beauty in everyone you meet, even if they aren’t your perfect match. When you can appreciate everyone for at least one quality, you will begin to vibrate at a level that matches your desires.

Blessings,

Dr. Karen Kan

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