Well, my dream partner James and I had a very interesting and amazing experience visiting his family over the Christmas holidays. He was prepared for some “personal growth” and I was there to support him. There were some challenging times, like the times where he was treated like he was as a child (tough for all of us when we go back to our childhood “homes”) and at the same time, it was a wonderful way to experience how we’ve all changed.

In fact, there was a moment when his parents said to him (in an unapproving way, I suppose), “James, you’ve changed!” Gone are the days where James would be afraid to speak his mind. And James answered, “Yes, I have changed. And I like how I’ve changed!”

Interesting how our old childhood patterns of relating to our parents always seem to repeat themselves UNTIL one party decides to change the system. We call it “chaos”. Or at least temporary chaos. Cool thing is…chaos settles down after a time into a new order. And we got to see a new found respect growing between mature adults.

So why am I telling you all this?

Well, I’m treating you like family. I want to let you in on how things REALLY are instead of the fantasy world you may project upon me or others. Family dynamics can be very challenging, and if you are willing to be PRESENT and OPEN to miracles happening by changing how you see your parents, you’ll suddenly notice that they’ve changed how they perceive you. And get this…if you can heal your relationships with your family as a single person, it will GREATLY enhance your ability to heal any relationship in the future, including manifesting your dream partner.

Like the time when James was rather frustrated that his father wouldn’t let him drive the 1974 Corvette Stingray he had promised him. His father generously gave his car to James and showed it to him over Christmas. It was his intention that James move it to where we live some time in the summer. But it was Christmas and James was VERY attached to driving it THEN, not later.

His father woudn’t budge. “No, you can’t drive it now. You can drive it later when you have the car moved to NY.” James was infuriated at the time. He felt his father was being unreasonable and controlling. There was absolutely no logical reason why he couldn’t let James just try out the car…even for a few minutes!

James was enlightened enough to know he had to leave the house and “process” his frustration. So the two of us went for a walk and he asked me for guidance. I gave him a lot of credit to be aware enough to know he needed someone to give him an objective perspective.

This is what I shared with him. “James, I understand your frustration. You can’t understand why your dad won’t let you drive the car and you feel it is his way of controlling you, right?”

“Yes, that’s right”, James answered.

“Well, let me share with you what I just read in Pema Chodren’s book, The Places that Scare You. Pema said that it is those moments of frustration and trouble that are the golden moments of our enlightenment and growth. So USE this situation to your advantage. Use the tools you have been taught. From the way I see things, The Universe is giving you a message and here is it:

“James, the feeling you are feeling right now is a RED FLAG that you are feeling ATTACHED to the outcome. You are attached to driving that car before you leave and go back home to NY. Feel that feeling and understand that it will teach you when you are no longer on your PATH.”

James looked up at me. He understood completely what I was saying. He had gotten ATTACHED to the outcome. He knows that he cannot manifest what he wants when he is attached. Immediately he began feeling the uncomfortable feelings in his body so he could memorize what it felt like to be attached. It wasn’t pleasant. Now he knows that whenever he feels those feelings again, it will be his RED FLAG that he isn’t on his PATH (the one he intended).

We talked a little bit more, walked a little and by the time we went back to his father’s house, James was at total peace with not having the opportunity to drive that car during this little visit to his parents. He was totally “OK” with not having his way. He was at peace.

As we entered the house, his father was there to great us. The first thing he said was, “Do you really want to drive that car?” and James answered excitedly, “Sure!”. And his dad gave him the keys, right then and there…

As James’s astonished and happy face turned to see my reaction, I just winked and said, (of at“See what miracles happen when you let go?” The Universe was now giving him the message: “Ya done good kid!”

Can you apply this to YOUR life?

Ask yourself: Where am I not at peace? where do I need to let go to have peace? what outcome am I attached to? where do I feel tension in my life?

See if you can feel the difference in your body when you feel attached and when you don’t. That’s the key.

So that’s my teaching story for this month. For those of you who have written in letters, I’ll be answering quite a few on Monday’s Blog Talk Radio Show at 12 noon EST U.S. You can call me live during the show at 1-347-945-6313 to ask a question or just tune into www.blogtalkradio.com/drkaren

I’m sorry I can’t answer everyone’s question right away and if I haven’t answered yours and it has been while, it could very well be that I’ve written the answer several times already on my blog or on the radio show. I do my best not to repeat myself too many times so that others will have a chance to get their question answered. I hope you understand.

Blessings,

Dr. Karen

P.S. James was kind enough to give me permission to tell his story for the purposes of teaching, so send him a virtual hug for that generosity!

P.P.S. I’m extending the special for the Law of Attraction Intensive Home Study Course so you still get the bonuses if you purchase the course soon! Enjoy!

I received this question from Angel recently and wanted to share with you my response:

Dear Dr. Karen:

I really do believe in the law of attraction I have a positive outlook and act like I am already in a relationship. I have everything I have always wanted except someone to share it with. I am clear and specific about who I want. When and how will this happen? I can feel it but it’s not there…

Dear Angel,

You are not the only one who asks this question. I remember when I was manifesting my dream partner James, I became disappointed after 8 months of “doing my best” and my dream ice-skating love partner was nowhere to be found!

There is something important you need to know about how the law of attraction works. The Universe has the ideal timing for everything and we are not in conscious control of that timing (of when “it” will happen). I recommend that you listen to my colleague Sandy Sain in the interview I did with her on blog talk radio (see radio player on the side bar at www.lawofattractioninlove.com) when she told me how she went on 500 dates over five years before she knew herself well enough and became the person she needed to become to manifest her dream partner Bob. When I asked her whether it was worth the wait (total of eight years I believe, after her divorce), she said YES!

Since you’ve been specific in asking for your partner and have been embodying the energy of already having received and are “acting” as if this person will show up in any moment, your current job is just one thing – ENJOY your life. Yes, enjoy your life. You said you have everything thing you’ve ever wanted. WOW! Amazing! That is wonderful! So all you need to do now is to fully engage in your PRESENT life (because you have to be PRESENT to manifest something in the future). Your dream partner will come if that is your soul’s true calling!

That being said, there is one thing that my mentor and bestselling author, Keith Leon, told me about manifesting your ideal partner that you need to know about. Look at the list of qualities you have written down for your ideal mate. You need to become all those qualities (aside from the physical ones!) before you can attract them. So, for example, if you wrote down that you partner must have integrity and honesty, check in with yourself as to whether you can truly say you fully embody those qualities yourself. The Law of Attraction states that like attracts like, so you must BECOME that which you wish to attract. If you want a weatlhy mate, then become wealthy yourself. If you want someone who is very kind and compassionate, practice being ever-more compassionate to people around you (including yourself) on a daily basis. Get the picture?

Most of all, just TRUST that The Universe has your best interests in mind and that your manifestation will appear when you least expect. Practice LETTING GO of your attachment to your intention, which will free up the energy around it (and thus bring it quicker to you), yet at the same time feeling passionate about what you want. Passion and attachment are not the same thing. The energy of ATTACHMENT feels needy and scarce. The energy of PASSION is a great magnet.

Enjoy your life! I believe in you!
Blessings,
Dr. Karen