Tag Archive | "appreciation"

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One simple five minute exercise that harness the Law of Attraction

Posted on 19 April 2011 by Dr. Karen

If you’re into the Law of Attraction, metaphysics, quantum physics, higher consciousness or just plain into manifesting the relationship of your dreams, read on…

I’ve been doing a LOT of studying lately. On many different subjects, but all related to two major themes: Energy and Consciousness.

On the health front, I’ve been researching how electromagnetic fields (for example microwave radiation from cell phones and cell towers) can be extremely hazardous to your health. Over Christmas, I became extremely sensitive to wireless radiation (sigh!) and thus I began researching some remedies (yes I found some!).

I’ve also been into knowing more about where our food in America comes from. It isn’t a pretty picture. James, my partner, and I have been watching movies like Food Inc., The Future of Food, The Beautiful Truth and King Corn.

What’s really interesting is how the lower quality “energy” coming from our food today translates, in essence, into a lowering of your energy levels available for manifesting!

Just think. What you eat can be interfering with how you manifest!

It’s all about energy. Allowing the energy in your body to drain away because you spend a lot of time using your computer or cell phone (luckily I discovered a couple of neat tools to prevent that) or by eating low energy food (pesticide ridden produce and meat from stressed out animals) means less energy available to harness the Law of Attraction.

And what does this mean about attracting your ideal romantic partner?

Less energy = Less attractiveness. Period.

As a holistic physician and energy healing professional, I have lots of information and tools at my disposal. I could go on and on about what I personally use to enhance my “vibration”, but I’m going to start by suggesting you do the simple five minute exercise below.

As a testament to this stuff “working” in our lives, I want to share two quick stories. Last week, while I was coaching a couple on Skype using my webcam, the man commented on how I seemed to “radiate”. Also last week, when my love partner, James, was out of town with friends, a woman he was passing on the street suddenly stopped and said rather loudly, “You are BEAUTIFUL! You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen!”


How would you like to get comments like that?

Well, you can. Here’s your homework assignment for the next thirty days (preferably forever):

Every morning when you get up or every evening before you go to bed, write in a journal at least ten things you appreciate or are grateful for. At least two of these should be things you appreciate about yourself. If you’re ambitious like me, you’ll do another list of your successes for that day.

Most of us go to bed at night thinking about what we didn’t do rather than what we did do. We can be really hard on ourselves. Since the Law of Attraction states that what we focus on grows, I want you to start this habit of writing down all the positives in your life. I asked one of my clients with bulimia to do this on a daily blog and within two weeks I am witnessing the positive transformation in her life. My guess is that it was more effective than months of therapy.

This exercise may seem too simple to be useful. Don’t be fooled. This stuff works.

And make it fun. Buy yourself some nice colored pens and an attractive journal dedicated to this exercise. I have mine right by my bedside.

Let me know what you think by commenting below.


Dr. Karen Kan

P.S. In case you’re interested in checking out one of the tools I use to turbo-charge my manifesting abilities, check out this PAGE.

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Dear Dr. Karen: How Can I Get My Husband to Stop Connecting With Other Women?

Posted on 03 April 2009 by Dr. Karen

Dear Dr. Karen,

I want to know how make my husband less interested in other women.  He chats on the net all the time and I found out that he has been telephone calls with two women but I am sure he hasn’t cheated on me yet.  This knowledge is hurting me – the thought that he doesn’t love me or find me as attractive as before. He didn’t think of anyone else before. Please tell me what to do, but don’t tell me to tell him since he will know that I am spying on him again, and he will get away from me more. How do I use the law of attraction in my case? I have a 5 year old daughter that he loves very much. He loves me I know but may be not like before.  I don’t know what to do. Please help me.


Dear Talin,

It sounds like your husband has caught you spying on him before. He probably feels you don’t trust him. If you don’t trust him, why should he be trustworthy? You do not have the power to control your husband and that is what you are wanting to do. You cannot make him less interested in other women. What you CAN do is work to become more interested in HIM and more INTERESTING to him. No guarantees of course!

He may be attracted to other women because they are perceived as being interested in him. All of us are naturally attracted to others who see us as beautiful and wonderful. It can even be intoxicating to have admirers.

If you’ve chosen not to tell the truth about your spying, you have a couple of choices. You can continue living in deceit by continuing to purposefully spy on your husband or you can come clean and start on a new page. If you decide to continue spying on him, it is unlikely that your energy will shift to the degree that will be attractive to him. Even if he doesn’t know you are spying on him, his energetic body can sense the mistrust coming form your energetic body and he will become less and less attracted to you.

If you either share with him what you are doing and let him know that you are sorry and that you did it because you were terrified of losing his love, he may understand and forgive you. It is up to him. Stop spying on him and work on creating a more emotionally intimate relationship with your husband.

Good relationships are based on truth. Both of you have developed habits that create distance as opposed to intimacy. At least you have control over your actions. By trying to control him, you are pushing him away. I’m not saying you should do nothing because that clearly is not helpful either.

What you really need to do is address and share with your partner your underlying fear of losing him. Share with him that you are afraid that he is finding you less attractive and may be more interested in other women. Share with him that you are afraid he will leave you and your child. Don’t expect him to be truthful necessarily, but at least you can stop holding secrets that will undermine your relationship. Ask him what you can do to be more attractive to him. Listen carefully. See if anything he says resonates with you.

I can tell you a couple of ways you can start treating your husband so that he is more attracted to you:

1. View him as your hero and tell him so. When my partner James does something that I won’t or can’t do – like move a bunch of logs or climb up onto the roof and scrape snow off it – I give him lots of hugs and kisses and appreciation and tell him he’s my hero. He feels very good and masculine and it is very fun.

2. Every day for the next 30 days, tell him what you appreciate about him at least once a day, preferably more. AND

3. Refrain from criticizing him. Instead if something is bothering you, share how it makes you feel rather than criticizing.

Example: “John, how many times do I have to ask you to take out the garbage? Can’t you remember anything?!!”


“Gee John, I’m noticing myself feeling frustrated that the garbage is still here after you agreed to take it out. I really don’t like feeling this way and I don’t want to feel angry at you. I’m not really sure what to say or do about the situation. Do you have some suggestions?”

Granted the latter requires some practice to master. Believe me, I’m still working on it…I have to THINK carefully before I open my mouth sometimes! But you know, it is really worth it!

You will see results in less than a week. Mostly it occurs in less than 24 hours if you are genuinely trying.

I sense there are some major relationship blueprint issues that have caused you to co-create this uncomfortable situation. I would highly recommend you get some personalized one-on-one coaching or counseling. This is not a quick fix. But I hope my suggestions have been helpful to you.

In summary: the best way to change the situation is to change yourself (your behavior)


Dr. Karen Kan

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Dear Dr. Karen: Using the Law of Attraction For a Specific Relationship

Posted on 02 October 2008 by Dr. Karen

Dear Dr. Karen,I’ve been using the law of attraction for quite a while and now I’ve realized that I’m dating my ideal partner. I’ve kind of freaked out because I’ve never been very good in the love department. Would it be fair to use the law of attraction towards the success of this specific relationship?


Dear Sonya,

YES, YES, YES! Sonya! You can use the law of attraction for anything! And using it consciously to create a successful relationship is both spiritual and enjoyable. By consciously creating a relationship (and not being in a relationship by default) is one of the most highly fulfilling ventures anyone could experience.

One of the easiest things you can do is to regularly and openly appreciate your partner for who they are and how they add joy to your life. Thank him generously and never take him for granted. See him as a blessing in your life. Even if he makes mistakes, and he will, understand that he is human and focus not on what you don’t like, but on what behaviors you do like.

It is easier said than done, let me tell you!

But it works like a charm. Sometimes if James my dream partner is doing something I don’t like or approve of, I sometimes keep it to myself so I can spend some time examining why it has triggered me. Usually it is an old relationship habit from my childhood or former relationship. I can then later express my triggers to him without making him responsible for how I feel. And then I focus on appreciating him for what I DO LOVE about him.

Do I forget sometimes and just get annoyed?


But I’m human too. I just catch myself, forgive myself and try again. That is what personal growth is all about. It isn’t about right and wrong or perfection. It is about growing yourself bigger and expanding your happiness zone!


Dr. Karen Kan

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Dear Dr. Karen: Can I Use the Law of Attraction to Win Back My Ex?

Posted on 02 October 2008 by Dr. Karen

Dear Dr. Karen,Can the law of attraction be used to win back an “ex” that you know is the “one”?


Dear Melissa,

Anything is possible with the law of attraction. It is possible that your “ex” is your best match. But if your “ex” is not open right now, you can’t force things to happen. In fact, by forcing things, you work against your manifesting. When you force things, you are telling the universe that you are not confident that the best possible outcome will occur and that you are in fear. And in the language of the law of attraction, fear begets more fear. Scarcity begets more scarcity. See what I mean?

You may very well be able to win back your “ex” by visualizing the two of your being together and feeling those yummy happy feelings when you visualize….so long as he is in a similar vibration. And let me ask you this: if I told you it would take ten years to win him back and in the interim he’s produced two children with someone else, would you be willing to wait?

Here’s an exercise you can do to encourage loving feelings between you and your “ex”. Again, I want to reiterate that you cannot manipulate his destiny by using the law of attraction. He has free will, just as you do. What you can do, though, is send loving feelings and detachment (which helps manifesting a lot!)…sending a loving vibration is very attracting. Sending an “attached” vibration is not.

OK, here’s the exercise: Everyday, pull out your journal and write a virtual letter to your “ex”. You aren’t going to send this letter, but what you are going to do is write down everything you love and enjoy about him. What you appreciate appreciates – that’s the law of attraction. Get it? So the more you appreciate him, even if he’s decided to take space from you, the more likely he’ll “hear” your vibrations and respond.

But there are no guarantees. Keep us posted!


Dr. Karen Kan

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Appreciation and the Law of Attraction

Posted on 25 February 2008 by Dr. Karen

One of the fastest ways to get what you want is to practice the art of appreciation more often. If you are single and passionately want to be coupled, you can still appreciate your life the way it is now. You can appreciate your independence, your openness to personal growth, your other relationships, and many other things about yourself. I love this saying:What you appreciate, appreciates!This pertains well with manifesting and keeping your dream partnership and deliberately harnessing the law of attraction! When you see a happy couple, do you appreciate their loving closeness, or do you resent them for having what you don’t have yet? If you are a little envious, that is understandable, but see if you can turn it into appreciation. Why? Because The Universe “hears” appreciation as the signal that something is important to you…and it will bring you more of that which you appreciate!

For example, if you are wanting to lose 30 pounds, it is a better practice to appreciate all the slim bodies you see in your life rather than becoming jealous or envious of them. Think to yourself, “wow, I love that person’s body! Good for him/her for keeping it in such good shape!” as opposed to a snide, “Oh, must be nice to be skinny and not have to worry about your weight!”

Let me tell some of the things I appreciate about my partner, James. I appreciate that he ALWAYS stops whatever he is doing to help me find something in the house that I’ve lost (and he enjoys it!). I appreciate how he makes my Teccino (herbal coffee) every night after dinner as my treat and how he lovingly brings it to the computer room where I’m busy at work. I appreciate how he almost always agrees to massage my sore muscles when I wake up in the morning. I appreciate how he walks in the bedroom and greats me with a kiss and hug each morning as he hears me awaken. I appreciate how he loves to chop wood and shovel snow and how I don’t have to lift a finger when it comes to heavy manual labor! I appreciate how he loves to go to personal growth seminars with me and how actively he participates in everything I love to do.

Ok, I could go on and on, but you get the picture. Here’s an idea. Make a long list of everything you appreciate in your DREAM partner-to-be!! That’ll really get the law of attraction working for you!

Love and Blessings,

Dr. Karen

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