Dear Dr. Karen,

Marianna

Dear Marianna,

Great question.

Many of us had the misunderstanding that if you allow yourself to think “negative” or non-supportive thoughts, that it would automatically prevent your intentions from manifesting. Because of this misunderstanding, thousands of people got “upset” whenever they noticed a negative thought or an unhappy feeling.

I’m here to clear the air about this misunderstanding. Most of us, even monks and spiritual masters, cannot control what thoughts pop up in our minds most of the time. Thoughts have a way of mysteriously popping up. In other words, your subconscious is not within your conscious control!

The difference between spiritual masters and us “regular” folks is that they’ve spent years training their minds not to give negative thoughts or feelings any ENERGY. It isn’t so bad to have impatient or negative thoughts. It is what you do with them that counts. When they come, do you REACT to them? Or can you just observe them and let them float away, like a leaf floating on a stream?

Our reaction to our thoughts is the ENERGY I’m talking about. The Law of Attraction works on what energy you are putting out. It is completely normal during the course of learning how to manifest something new that everyone entertains doubts. But when those doubts come, do you let it stop you from trusting the process or moving forward?

I believe that the reason I was “able” to manifest my dream partner despite my thoughts of “Why isn’t he here yet?” was that I had a STRONGER belief underneath it that knew that if other people could do it, I could too. I put MORE energy into the positive, than I did into the negative or non-supportive thoughts.

Think of it as a scale. I had much more energy (weight) on the positive side than the negative, but on occasion, the negative side would be heavier…but it didn’t last long.

Things in life aren’t perfect. The stronger energy in the “positive” drew teachers and coaches and books to me to show me how to expand beyond my limited thinking.

The Universe even “tipped” me off after I met James that he was the “one” I was asking for. You see, I didn’t “see” him as my perfect partner. He didn’t seem to match my criteria. I wanted a figure skater. I wasn’t expecting a younger man. But a friend synchronistically told me about a movie that came out called Cutting Edge 2 where a figure skater manifests her dream skating partner who happens to be an aggressive inline skater and surfer (exactly what James, my partner, was when I met him!).

So you see, you don’t have to be dismayed or react at all to your questioning “Where is he?” Just acknowledge the thought, then remind yourself that The Universe knows the quickest, fastest and best way to get that person to you. And if that person you wish is not an energetic match to who you are right now, you have some GROWING work to do!

Don’t worry. You’ll be given the opportunity to grow if you just stay open to receiving. Synchronicities happen all the time. Let the Law of Attraction work for you in love by staying open and quickly shifting your unsupportive thoughts to ones that work better for you.

I believe in you. If you get stuck, we can always do one-on-one coaching…

Blessings,
Dr. Karen
www.LawofAttractioninLove.com

PS Please write me comments on what you think of this post!

I really wanted to respond to Adrian (see letter below) because his situation reminded me of my own years ago when I was in University. It is a lengthy letter to me, but if you have the inclination, please read it and my response, and please send positive energy to Adrian…

Dear Dr. Karen

When I was 17 years old I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, a type of lymphatic cancer. While going through my treatments I never gave up hope that I would be fine and I did turn out fine. I am currently 18 and I speak at schools about life and the meaning of positivity in it. My life was put on hold and one major aspect of it had to be held out for even longer, my love life.

I have known, cared and loved this girl for 10 years of my life. We met on a vacation and our families meet each other every year at the same place at the same time for a month. I was planning on telling her how I felt the year that I was diagnosed but unfortunately I was diagnosed 3 days before our vacation and my dreams were crushed. I made a vow that the next year when I was healthy, I would tell her and everything would be perfect. This year came and I did tell her and EVERYTHING went perfect.

I’ve loved this girl ever since I met her and I truly believe that she is the one, the one I will marry. She lives 8 hours away from me, I am in Canada and she is in the US. We’ve always kept in touch and we still keep in touch via Skype and phone. I am willing to do whatever it takes to be with her, anything. She is 4 years older than me.

I talk to my parents about her and they shut me down because it is a ”long distance relationship”. I do not care because I will stop at nothing to be with her. We feel the same way for each other but she is concerned about the period of time it will be for me to honestly be with her. I am considering moving to the states once I am done school to be with her, but for now I must finish school but there will always be time to visit her.

Dr. Karen I love this woman and I want nothing else than to see her and her smile. I cry at night because I cannot be with her right now. She was also asked by a guy to go out on a date and her parents make her think that what we have isn’t ready right now, so that she can still be happy and date guys. When she told me this the only thing I could do was to pray and release my emotions. I told her that she could date him, I just want her to be happy. I told her the saying ”If you love something so much, let it go, if it comes back it was meant to be.” I pray that my parents will allow me to go to the states in December or October, (when I have breaks) and I just want them to understand how dedicated I am. My priorities are school, my family and the girl.

Karen I need advice, please, I want nothing else than to be with her. I need advice on how to deal with this Karen, please. The only factors holding me back from seeing her are time, and my parents. It’s been really tough lately and I just pray that I could see the future.

Adrian

Dear Adrian,

Thanks for your heartfelt letter. I really empathize with your situation Adrian. When I was 19, I went through something similar with my first “love”. As the first-born child, my parents were very protective and when I announced to them I had a new boyfriend, I was heartbroken when instead of being happy for me, they seemed fearful and angry.

From my parent’s reactions, I came to the conclusion that they didn’t trust my judgment. They told me in not so many words that I was “too young” to be truly in love and that I went into the relationship too quickly without really thinking. I was basically taught not to trust my own feelings.

Yikes.

Good thing I know better now, but it has taken me almost two decades to listen to my own intuition and act from that place.

The relationship between myself and my parents suffered a great deal of strain because I stuck to my guns (thank goodness for my stubborn side!). My boyfriend made it “worse” by proposing to me after our first year of dating!

I remember crying A LOT, not because I wasn’t connected to my love, but because I let the criticism from my parents cut through me like a knife. There was little that I wanted more than their loving approval.

That was the “approval-seeking-me” back then.

Despite the years of stress with my parents, I wouldn’t change a thing. We now have a much closer relationship than ever before. I learned so much from my relationship with my first boyfriend (who became my husband). Even though we parted ways after we learned as much as we could from each other (and it was time to move on), I do not regret “going against” my parent’s advice.

Nevertheless, I’m not going to advise you to ditch your parents. What I would do, however, is to demonstrate your maturity by making sure you are acting as lovingly responsible as any 18 year old could be.

When my first love and I had to have a long distance relationship, my parents were pleased because they were certain we would break up. Instead, we grew closer. If you want it, Adrian, you’re going to have to fight for it. You have the advantage that you’ve already been through cancer. I see that as an advantage because you’ve been through a life and death situation. People having gone through cancer often have greater clarity of what is important in our lives.

And there is nothing more important than love.

Please be compassionate towards your parents. They are just scared. They want the best for you, even if they couldn’t possibly know what that is. Here’s a little exercise I want you to do to help your parents trust you a little more.

Do this every day if you can.

It is simple. Tell them how much you appreciate them and why. Appreciation never gets old when it is genuine. I’ve seen miracles happen with this exercise. If you’re too shy, start by writing it daily in a journal, but then work up to saying it via email, text messaging, phone and face-to-face. Are you willing to do this?

Lastly, temper your emotional responses to your parents’ criticism. Don’t take it personally. Know that it is just “their stuff” not yours. They are just projecting onto you their own fears and insecurities when they criticize you. See if you can just feel the love underneath all that. If they don’t allow you to see your girlfriend, just let them know that you feel sad about their decision but you understand that they need to do what they are most comfortable with….

…but then you can decide, at age 18, to go see your girlfriend anyway and prepare for the consequences.

Adrian, this isn’t easy, but you have the wisdom within to tell you what to do. Just do your best to stay respectful of your parents while also being true to yourself. They are going to ask you the hard questions – they are going to test you. If you can’t answer something you can just reflect back to them the issue they are concerned about.

Example:

Parents: You’re too young to be so attached. How long do you think “first loves” really last anyway?

Mature You: It sounds like you’re really concerned about my happiness and don’t want me to be sad or disappointed. Is that right? You know, I really appreciate you for your concern and your love. I’m sure there will be times I will be sad or heartbroken – it’s just part of life, but I also know that you’ve raised me to be strong enough to bounce back from anything like I bounced back from cancer. I just want you to know I’m not scared of being hurt.

Keep praying Adrian. Pray in the way that you already see yourselves together and happy.

This lifetime just happens once. If you died tomorrow, would you regret anything?

I believe in you.

Blessings,
Dr. Karen

P.S. When my baby sister (who is six years younger) announced her engagement, instead of admonishing her, my father said, “It’s about time”. My brother-in-law has NO IDEA what my husband and I went through to make it easy for them! My husband and I paved the way…and we’re happy we did.
P.P.S. Please comment on this post and share your wisdom and thoughts!

www.LawofAttractioninLove.com

Dear Dr Karen,

I have a question regarding taking action in order to manifest my dream partner. I currently live at home with my family and the only action and acting ”as if” steps I have been able to take are sleeping on one side of my bed, cleaning out my bathroom drawers and cupboards and leaving an extra toothbrush, towel, face washer and shower puff in my bathroom.

I am working on cleaning out some of my wardrobe space for his clothes and of course, I have written down my dream partner”s laundry list of attributes and qualities and am doing my embodying exercises every day.

My question then is since I still live at home, are these small actions inadequate or not enough? Is there more I should be doing?

Kind Regards,
S

Dear S,

You’ve done a fabulous job of working on your “acting as if” exercises, and it sounds like your attribute list is specific. So congratulations! Keep on doing your embodying exercises.

Your question is a good one which is why I’m answering it today. So are you asking whether that fact that you live with your family is preventing or detering your dream partner from coming around? That is, that what you’re doing is “not enough”?

If so, the answer is, “It depends”.

Even though on the surface it would seem contradictory to be putting so much effort into manifesting your dream partner while you still live in your parents home…unless you plan to attract someone who also wishes to live in your parents home, all is not lost.

The most important thing you can do is to “practice” the feeling of already having the partner you desire. So the rituals you are practicing is to create the vibrational state of having your partner already.

If you desire him/her to be with you in the home you now live, that is one thing, if not, then visualize (embody) scenarios where you live elsewhere.

That being said, you’ll want to make preparations for moving out of your parents’ home. It doesn’t mean you have to move out immediately, but it means that you need to make some goals and set up a timeline or plan as to when you want to be self-sufficient..even if that means renting a small apartment a mile away.

Why is that important?

Well, in my experience, a person really learns who they are by living on their own and experiencing all their choices first hand without parental interference so to speak. The confidence you gain will help you attract a partner who will not only love you for who you are, but will respect you as well (because you respect yourself).

When you know you can be happy and make it on your own without “someone” you’re leaning on for financial support (for example), you’ll be able to attract a higher level partner who is also able to be happy and confident.

You don’t want to “need” someone. Instead you want to be whole and you want your partner to be whole. Two “whole” people, not two halves.

So keep up the good work with your exercises. Now is the time to keep stretching yourself further. When you feel like you’re risk-taking a bit and you are a little uncomfortable, that usually means you are growing, and you’re headed in the right direction!

If you’re too comfortable (in your parents’ home), that may be a sign that your energy is not expanding big enough to magnetically attract the dream partner that matches your list. Make sense? Of course if you’re 15 years old, moving out may be a bit premature! So use your intuition when reading and interpreting my advice.

Blessings,

Dr. Karen Kan

Comments? Please let me know what other advice you’d like to give or what you think of my post.

Dr. Karen,

Tia

Dear Tia,

In my experience, visualizing what you want is just PART of the manifesting process. If you’ve read my Creating Your Fairytale Love Life eBook, you’ll remember that there are approximately seven steps to the manifesting process. What I’ll share here is complimentary to what I wrote in the book, so I won’t repeat what’s in the book.

It is more than possible through the Law of Attraction to see these “new” behaviors in your relationship. However, it is going to take some effort and discipline on your part to co-create this. This isn’t about him changing as much as it is about you changing. Really.

Visualization is a powerful tool if you can feel it as a “whole body” experience. Imagine ideal (and believable) situations where you are both enjoying the romance of the moment and how that feels in your body. Do the exercise daily. Your partner may notice a mysterious twinkle in your eye afterwards if you’re practicing this successfully. The power of visualizations depends on repetition AND being able to feel it in your body (not just thinking about it in your mind).

Visualizing is just one of many manifesting tools. A crucial step in harnessing the Law of Attraction is consistent ACTION. In other words, visualization without relevant action is not very useful. Here is what I recommend you do next.

Look really hard for behaviors in your partner that you enjoy and like and make sure you give him appreciation for them, each and every time. This means homework on your part. Make it a daily exercise for at least thirty days (so it becomes a habit) to look for things you appreciate about your partner and tell him about it.

Better yet, don’t just tell him your appreciation verbally. Tell him with your body. Melt your body into his, look into his eyes and glow with loving appreciation for those “little” things he does to show his love for you, even if you don’t consider them “romantic”.

Our partners are our mirrors. If you feel he’s been taking you for granted, you’re probably doing the same in his perception, even if it is unconsciously. Look for ways you have been taking him for granted and start correcting your behavior so that you start giving him the recognition YOU’D like to receive yourself.

Next exercise: start doing romantic things for yourself and for him. Bring out your “Goddess”. For example, get yourself a bouquet flowers and if he asks you why, just tell him you did it because it makes you feel feminine and romantic (only if that is true, of course). Take a bath by candlelight and ask him to join you. Start a tickle fight on the couch. Watch a romantic movie then “attack him” with loving kisses afterwards.

Take belly dancing classes and start “practicing” all over the house in your coin skirt, nudging him with your hips as you shimmy by. Offer a foot rub. Leave sticky notes in odd places around the house (like inside the bathroom cabinet) that say, “I love you!” or “I love your butt!” etc.

I want you to have fun with this. If any of these suggestions make you feel uncomfortable….GOOD! You have room to grow!

So let us know what happens!

If anyone reading this blog post has any other suggestions for Tia, please share them by posting a comment to this blog.

Dr. Karen Kan
www.lawofattractioninlove.com

P.S. Are you stuck at all? Do you think you could use some coaching? If you’re interested group tele-coaching, let me know now as I’m forming a coaching group soon. Click here for more information.

Dear Dr. Karen,

An Indian priest told me I would never have a long lasting relationship with a man.  I’m tired of having my heart broken. I’m just wondering; what is the purpose of trying when you know it won’t last?

Mona

Dear Mona,

Having your heart broken is indeed tiring if it is something that happens over and over again, and you do not feel you have grown or benefited from the experience. On the other hand, the “most joyful” people on this earth are willing to “try” over and over again and possibly get their hearts broken. Why? Because it is in the journey that they learn the most amazing things about themselves and others.

So the direct answer to your question of “What is the purpose of trying when you know it won’t last?” would be:

“because I learn something new and wonderful about myself and others each time I try…and I become closer to my true Self”

Mona, even though this is the “answer” to your question, we’ll have to go deeper because the actual question you are asking isn’t what you truly want to know, is it?

Here are some other questions for you to ask yourself:

1.  If the Indian priest, whom I trust, tells me that I will never have a long lasting relationship, is that really my fate? Can I not change that fate?

2.  Am I willing to relegate my responsibility to co-creating what I want to another person who tells me it is impossible?

3.  Would I be willing to risk having my “heartbroken” if I knew that it was just part of the journey towards manifesting my ideal relationship?

4.  If my capacity for joy and peace is proportional to my willingness to experience pain and suffering, would I be open to experience what I need to learn in order to get to the other side?

Here’s the thing, Mona. You clearly want something different from what the Indian priest told you, right? So you have a decision to make. Those who have been studying and training the Law of Attraction will tell you that your desire is a powerful magnet to co-creating your reality with the Universe.

Your choices: You decide that you believe whatever the Indian priest says and you cannot change your fate OR you decide that what he/she said was just one perspective but that you choose to believe you can create a different reality.

It is up to you. I, for one, would prefer to create my own destiny. Of course, what we co-create is not in a vacuum…the outcome has to be in the highest good of all in order for it to happen. So in your situation, unless you can come up with a really GREAT reason that the world would NOT benefit from you being in a happy relationship, (maybe there is one, but I can’t think of any) then there is a possibility that you can achieve what you want.

Does that make sense?

Besides, what the Indian priest was “reading” when you saw him/her was your energy field at that moment in time. The energy you emanated was one of lack and disappointment, so it makes sense that your “future” was headed for the same energetic imprint. He/she was correct in their “reading”.

However, your “future” can change moment to moment depending on the average energetic field you are emanating. So to change your “future” you need to shift your current energy field to a higher vibration from one of lack and disappointment to one of gratitude and abundance.

Thus, even though the priest may have been “correct” in his reading at the time, it can become completely wrong if you jump to a new energy stream. And to jump to a new energy stream, all you need to do is start growing.

If all of us do not grow, do you know what we do? We die. Growing or evolving is part of our human journey. Plants are either growing or dying. They don’t stay still. Get it?

So if you’re getting the “same old thing” happening to you in relationships, it either means you haven’t learned from your past relationships and shifted into a higher energy state, or that the perception you have chosen does not serve you in getting you what you want.

Here is a quick exercise you can do immediately to start shifting a perception that doesn’t serve you. Instead of dumping all of your previously heartbreaking relationships into the “that was a waste of time and the only good thing it did was to hurt me” bucket, I want you to make a list of all the GIFTS you were given as a result of those relationships….and I mean EACH AND EVERY ONE.

Are you stumped yet? Or are you excited to start growing?

Can you not appreciate ANY of the gifts? Because there are many. To the extent you can “see” those gifts, you will shift into higher energy state, thereby moving towards (as opposed to away from) manifesting what you want.

Here’s a summary:

• You can choose to see your past as just “hurts” or as gifts from which you can grow and move closer to what you wish to manifest
• The priest will be “right” about his prediction if you do not consciously decide that he is not, (you take back the responsibility for co-creating your life instead of giving it to others)
• You have the power to co-create your reality even it is different from the one the priest told you about
• You need to move into a higher energy state in order to achieve a reality you have not been able to create previously
• Working on your personal growth is the way to move into a higher energy state

Mona, I challenge you to write down (you can use the comment section below the blog post) every gift you can appreciate from your past “heartbreaking” relationships, so you can move forward. This is just a start. Often we need help in shifting our energy. What you can do is get support from someone who has already accomplished what you wish to accomplish and learn from that person.

I believe in you.

Blessings,

Dr. Karen Kan

www.lawofattractioninlove.com

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Blessings,
Dr. Karen
www.lawofattractioninlove.com

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Very often I’m reminded just how wonderful it is to be experiencing life with the love of my life. In my first relationship, my husband and I were often at odds with what we both liked and disliked. It seemed like a stretch everytime we tried to think of things we’d like to do together. I remember (as I’m sure he did as well) compromising time and time again.

Although it was challenging to “be” with someone who wasn’t a great fit for me, I am grateful for the experience because NOW I can really APPRECIATE what I have! Isn’t that the case with many of us? We don’t know or appreciate what we have until we first experience the opposite?

This Christmas Holiday season was another instance where I experienced my Divine other giving truly from his heart. A few days before we travelled for Christmas, he ran out of the house suddenly right after we had come back from skating. He was in such a hurry to “pick up last minute Christmas gifts”, I couldn’t imagine what the emergency was!

The next day, I saw an elongated package under the tree. James was so afraid that I would guess my present since he knew how intuitive I can be. But so not the ruin the surprise, I decided to block myself from even guessing or thinking about the gift until Christmas morning.

So December 25th morning finally came and we were unwrapping presents at my parents house. For the first time, I felt the gift. It was heavy. Immediately I knew what it was, but I could hardly believe he got it for me!

What was it?

When I ripped open the wrapping, I discovered the vinyl banner I’ve wanted for the last four years.

This vinyl banner is special. It was one of the one-of-a-kind banners hanging from the Olympic Arena (box office entrance) celebrating the 25th anniversary of the 1980 Olympics. It had a special photo of a figure skater on it. Well, that figure skater was ME.

Yes! It was a photo of me. And no one from the Olympic Center even knew that in 2005 they “happened” to choose MY photo out of hundreds of photos from a stock photo company. While in Los Angeles, I did what all good Los Angelinos do…audition for something! In this case it was for sports stock photography.

The problem four years ago was that I had asked to buy the banner from the Olympic Center (whenever they were done with it) and was flatly refused. I was dejected, but every week, I felt a lift when going to the rink for practice because I’d look up and see it hanging there at the entrance.

Then Skate America2009  came to Lake Placid and the arena  had a complete makeover. My banner was suddenly taken down. So much for my “lift”. I thought I’d never see “my” banner again.

But James, my dream partner, took the opportunity to do whatever he could to find that poster and give it to me for Christmas. He asked one of the senior administrators (who was shocked to learn it was a photo of me) and told him that he’d pay anything to get it for me (such a sweetie). Much to his surprise, the administrator offered it to him free of charge!

Wow!

So on Christmas day, my dream of having this banner as a momento came true. I waited four years and never thought it could happen, but James felt the opportunity to give me joy and took quick action!

25th Anniversary Banner for the 1980 Olympics

There are two lessons here:

1. I believe that if you’re truly connected to your partner, you will be able to intuit each other’s desires and feelings and act according to each other’s highest good.
2. The Universe always knows what the best timing is to manifest what you desire. It wouldn’t have been the same emotional impact had I procured the banner for myself four years ago. Thus, we can all just “let go and let God” a little more, eh?

If you haven’t signed up for my free Attracting Love eCourse and the free GOODIES, please do so today!

Blessings,

Dr. Karen Kan

P.S. Please comment below and tell me what you think!

My partner, James, just told me about an old high school friend he just connected with on Facebook. She was lamenting that her daughter, who lost her dad in the military, has been in the hospital due to mental distress. He was asking me about what he could do to counsel his friend.

I suggested two things, the first of which was specific to James’ skill as a healer. I told him that he could do a distance Reiki healing on the daughter. He would have to sense telepathically whether she would accept the healing before proceeding (us healers don’t IMPOSE our healings on others if they don’t want it).

The second thing I suggested was for him to tell his friend to write daily journal entries (5 minutes is all that is required) stating all the things she appreciates about her daughter for at least 30 days in a row. Since she lives far away from her daughter, she cannot be by her side to comfort her, and of course as a mother she is worried.

When we try to help people, our worrying adds to their burden. Instead, we want to send a higher vibrational energy stream their way. This journaling exercise is a great way to do it.

So if you have someone you care about in a crisis, the best thing you can do without even having to tell them, is a daily appreciation exercise. This will help them feel better about themselves believe it or not.

I had a case where a patient’s son was suicidal. My patient lived far away so he was distraught he could not help his son. I had him do this exercise for 30 days straight. Very quickly, both the son and the patient got out of the crisis and his son did just fine.

Do not underestimate the power of energy and YOUR power to heal yourself and others. You have much to contribute to the world through your love. And via the Law of Attraction, what you emanate in love will come back to you many times over!

If you’re new to this blog, please sign up for our GOODIES in the tab at the top of the webpage! And also, please let me know what you think of this post by commenting below.

Blessings,
Dr. Karen Kan

The Dear Dr. Karen question this week:

Dear Dr. Karen:

Joseph

Dear Joseph:

Thanks for writing. Did you say years?

Let me get this straight. You’ve been in love with this woman for years, have told her that you love her and shared with her your desires for your future together and she doesn’t really want to show you she cares all these years?

Well, it is great that she has values, beliefs and desirable qualities you resonate with. That’s a good start. But after being friends for years, don’t you think you’ve waited a long time to have your affections reciprocated? And now you live thousands of miles away!

I’ve heard of a woman playing hard to get, but I’m not getting any sense from you that she is even trying to vie for your attentions. So my question to you is, what exactly are you looking for from this woman? And how can this be the woman you desire if she does not desire you? Years is long enough for her to figure it out don’t you think?

I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Well, it’s not really a secret, but many people don’t realize this: that the world is changing faster and faster. And what that means for you is that years is definitely TOO long not to move forward with your life! That’s not to say that learning dating skills won’t be helpful. And learning to understand women is even more helpful.

Here’s what I know. There is a woman (or more than one) out “there” who can’t wait to be with you. Someone who adores you just as you adore her. You don’t have to change yourself just so she will love you. She will love you as you are. Believe it. Feel it – and it will be yours.

You deserve it.

Just because you love this woman you’ve set your sights on doesn’t mean you can’t love another! Instead, use the love you feel to create and attract an even better match. Let go emotionally of being with THIS particular woman. In fact, I’d encourage you to ask her point blank whether she is romantically interested in you or not, and to let her know that it is OK if she isn’t because you’ll learn to move on. You just need to know the truth. Women have a way of not telling the truth because they don’t want to hurt your feelings.

If you can show her that you are “man” (i.e. strong) enough to take the truth, you’ll get it. She needs to know you won’t crumble. And it’s about time that you free yourself of anything and anyone who would slow your growth into the love you desire.

Change is happening much faster in our world now. You cannot “afford” to keep waiting for your life to happen. You deserve to experience life and love like never before.

For your growth and education, I’d highly recommend that you read books by David Deida: www.deida.info especially, The Way of the Superior Man, which you can find in my Law of Attraction in Love Bookstore. When you start to resonate at your most enlightened masculine self, you’d be AMAZED at the women (and the quality of women) you attract! Best to you Joseph!

Blessings,
Dr. Karen Kan

Dear Dr. Karen

Alexander

Dear Alexander,

I’m not quite sure why you’re asking me whether you can find another young woman to have a relationship with since you’ve been fairly successful at attracting them in your past. It sounds like you’re doubting that you can because of your disabilities – is that it?

It is good to hear that your former girlfriends have all become friends. It sounds like there is genuine love and respect there. Congrats!

One thing that caught my attention is your belief about giving your love in exchange for trust and intimacy. You may wish to listen to the Blog Talk Radio interview I did with Neale Donald Walsch on the subject of romantic relationships. It isn’t about an “exchange” of anything if I can paraphrase. Instead it is about giving the biggest YOU you can give in a relationship.

Old paradigm relationships are about exchanges. I’ll do this for you if you do that for me. I’ll be sexually faithful to you if you’re sexually faithful to me. I won’t smoke/drink/gamble if you promise to love me, etc. The new paradigm of relationships isn’t about these “trades” or exchanges at all. It is about being fully who you are – being fully in your divine, an offering your love unconditionally.

So it matters not how old you are or how well you can walk, but about how much of your presence and love you can give to another.

Blessings to you,
Dr. Karen Kan