Archive | Personal Growth

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Letter from Stephanie: Do all men cheat?

Posted on 24 February 2013 by Dr. Karen

“Can I Prevent Cheating with the Law of Attraction?”  

Here is a heart-felt letter from Stephanie that I felt compelled to answer right away:

Dear Dr. Karen,
My name is Stephanie and I feel kind of awkward while writing this email mainly because I an far too young for relationships (16 y.o).  My problem is the following: my parents are getting divorced after 17 years of marriage. They never really had any big problems but things got worse when my dad cheated. After endless fights and screamsmy mom and her also-divorced friends decided to “educate” me on maintaining the “love” in the marriage.  After endless hours of talkingthey came to the conclusion that all men cheat and that at some point in my lifemy man will cheat on me too. My parents ‘ relationship has made me unable to trust anyone and I feel that the same things will happen to me too.  I have been using the law of attraction for a couple of years…with “medium ” success but I have only started to fully comprehend its powers in the last few months.

Can I prevent such a cheating behavior with the law of attraction?  Can I have a happy home with a faithful husband?  I really appreciate you taking the time to read this email. I am most thankful for being able to open up my heart to you because I desperately do not want to repeat my family’s mistake.  Thank you very much and I am looking forward to receiving your reply.
Yours faithfully,

Dear Stephanie,

Thank you so much for sharing your story.  Not only are you courageous for wanting to manifest a different love life than your parents and their friends, you are also aware that you have the power within you to do so! Amazing! Way to go girl!

Statistics reveal that many men (and women) are unfaithful in their relationships.  One can either judge this statistic as sad or revealing.  Let’s just suppose that the statistics ( are true.  If so then let’s put our open-minded consciousness hats on for a moment so we can ponder these questions:

  1. Can one person truly give us all the love and support we need to completely thrive and live to our fullest potential?
  2. Is there only room in our hearts for one person?
  3. Do we really need sex with more than one person? and if so, why?
  4. Is it reasonable to love more than one person romantically but only save sex for one person?
  5. Is having monogamous sex synonymous with “committed” love? or is it a “reward” of some sort? or an antiquated idea?
  6. Is it possible that humankind can evolve so that we can love more than one person and allow our partners do so the same without jealousy or envy?
  7. Does cheating mean that something is missing in an otherwise good relationship? or is it a natural genetic pull? or a natural energetic pull?
  8. Is our expectation of a sexually faithful spouse even realistic or spiritual?

These are questions I do not have definitive answers to, but they are questions you can ask your inner guidance.  I’m not a history buff, but those that are will tell us that marriage was more of a contract concerning property and ownership (in certain cultures that meant also ownership of the wife) than it was about love.  Monogamous sex has been “proof” of a good marriage, but if you think about it, this has nothing to do with real love. It has more to do with rules.  That being said, open marriages and polyamorous relationships only work with the most enlightened and conscious people who have developed completely open hearts and great communication skills.  I would say that is one in a hundred people.

Most people “cheat” when they no longer feel the spark they used to feel with their partner.  Little do they realize it is because they have now settled into the space where their past programming has come up for healing and resolution.  If they do not resolve the underlying emotional issues within their relationship, they are bound to bring all that baggage into their new relationship.  Isn’t it true that most people blame their partners for their marriage problems instead of looking within to see why they’ve attracted this person into their lives?  Even if a person attracts an abusive partner and eventually decides to leave him/her, she doesn’t have to BLAME that person for being who they are.  Instead she can bless that person for showing her how strong she really is (and how well she can stand up for herself now).

It isn’t so much the extramarital sex that hurts the relationship as much as the lying.  Lying means that you do not trust your partner enough to share with them what you truly want or need in order for your to thrive or grow.  If my partner shared with me that he needed fulfillment outside of our relationship, I would honor him for trusting me with that intimate information.  And if I truly loved him unconditionally, I would bless him to do whatever he felt was best for him.  It doesn’t mean that our relationship wouldn’t change in form, but it means that our love is deep enough that we aren’t scared to be who we really are.

If we no longer have jealousy or envy when it comes to our relationships, then we know we’ve really evolved as a species! So far, this is not our common everyday reality, but one day it might be! Unconditional love is possible!

Stephanie, let’s get back to you.  Can you prevent the cheating behavior?  Well, it depends.  If your partner trusts you enough to tell you the truth, then yes.  Instead of cheating on you, he’d be willing to tell you what he’s feeling.  Which would you prefer?  You can’t prevent another person from being attracted to someone else.  But if you’re willing to let them feel whatever they feel, they will trust and love you more.  You see, if you don’t trust someone, they won’t trust you.  Like attracts Like.  That’s the Law of Attraction.  I know you already know that.  When our partners lie, it is because they are afraid of telling us the truth.  They are afraid of our reaction.  If you routinely react with loving kindness and understanding while at the same time maintaining healthy boundaries, you have the basis for fabulous thriving relationships! It’s not easy, but it is something for all of us to strive for.

Yes, you can have a faithful husband if you want, but you first have to decide why it is important to you?  Just because society feels that the ideal relationship form is a lifetime of sexually monogamy, it doesn’t meant that it is necessarily the healthiest or even the most spiritual.  After reading Neale Donald Walsch’s Conversations with God series, I had a renewed sense of openness when it comes to relationships.  Seeing it from “God’s” perspective, so to speak, comforted me that we are not all that “bad” or “corrupt” as human beings.  It’s all about choice and love, not about rules or fear.  If we fear our partners will be unfaithful, that fear will bring that reality crashing down on us.  Many of us choose monogamy because it enables us to go super-deep with one person without the distraction of other significant energetics disrupting this flow.  See the difference in perspective?  Relationships take work. The more people involved, the more work it is! And most people aren’t willing to do that kind of spiritual growth work.

You are already aware that your mother’s programming, all men cheat, might have already been ingrained into your subconscious through which you may manifest the same fate.  The more emotional the situation, the harder it etches into your subconscious recording device!  However, your awareness of the issue is already half the cure!  The second half is pretty straight forward.  The quickest and cleanest way I know how to “rid” yourself of this programming is to use the Emotion Code.  It is a technique pioneered by Dr. Brad Nelson to discover and release trapped emotions around any issue, including relationships issues.   It uses muscle testing and his Emotion Code chart to determine the exact trapped emotion (based on Chinese medicine).  Once you’ve discovered it, you then proceed to release it with a few simple “sweeps” along one of your acupuncture meridians using a magnet. Simple! And it’s gone!

In your case, when you use the Emotion Code, you’d ask things like:

  1. Is there a trapped emotion I can release around the belief that “all men cheat”? If you get a YES, then you would do the Emotion Code procedure to release that emotion. Then you’d repeat it as many times as the muscle testing says “yes” until you’ve released them all
  2. Is there a trapped emotion I can release that is preventing me from having a healthy romantic relationship with a man? Repeat as necessary
  3. Is there a trapped emotion I can release around my parents divorce? Repeat as necessary

The cool thing about using the Emotion Code is that you do not have to KNOW what the trapped emotion is.  The muscle testing will tell you.  When you use other techniques I recommend in my book, such as EFT (Tapping), you already have to know what emotion or belief is messing you up.  I’d recommend doing both if you can.

So let me know how it goes Stephanie! You can get a copy of Dr. Brad’s book, the Emotion Code on Amazon or you can get his whole program (which has instructional DVDs – necessary if you actually want to learn how to properly perform muscle testing) at a discount through my special link:


Dr. Karen

PS Hey, almost forgot to tell you the exciting news! My new book, Guide to Healing Chronic Pain – A Holistic Approach, hit #1 on Amazon’s bestseller list last Friday!  If you know of anyone who’s in pain and who doesn’t want to do surgery or drugs, let them know about it.  I’m doing a FREE Kindle promotion Friday March 1 through Sunday March 3rd.  Just tell them to go to the bookstore link during those days to download the 516 page book free:

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A Film For Your Valentine’s Day

Posted on 13 February 2013 by Dr. Karen

Love.  Ah…. Love!  What else has the power to fly into our lives and disrupt, change and transform us so absolutely?

If you’ve ever felt ‘alone’ or ‘unworthy’ of love; if old stories and old pain from the past have ever caged your confidence to love anew, then you will not want to miss the Spiritual Cinema Circle feature film for February!

A Bird of the Air is the story of Lyman, a loner whose solitary existence is transformed by a remarkable parrot that literally flies into his life catalyzing new relationships and the opportunity for new choices.

Will Lyman choose to keep his heart locked in a cage or will he set himself free to rediscover a life filled with love?  Be inspired to fly when you say, “yes” to this heart-freeing film!

Plus – in addition to A Bird of the Air– you’ll receive three more heartwarming “shorts” (films under 30 minutes) on a single DVD – when you activate your FREE trial membership with Spiritual Cinema Circle!

Join now!

Since 2004, Spiritual Cinema Circle members have been the world’s leading supporters of films like A Bird of the Air – films that uplift, inspire and truly make a difference. If you’re tired of the “low vibration” films out there, I think you’ll be happy to support “high vibration” Spiritual Cinema films!

Keep your vibration “up” by watching films like these on a regular basis. It will make the Law of Attraction work much better for you because you’ll be attracting “like” vibrational people, places and things into your life! It totally works for me!


Dr. Karen Kan

P.S. Don’t wait! Activate your FREE trial membership by February 14, 2013 to receive A Bird of the Air. There’s absolutely no obligation – cancel anytime!

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Bring The Sizzle Back to Your Love Life

Posted on 12 February 2013 by Dr. Karen

Learning the Art of Love Relationships

We all know that being in love can be magical… but the “honeymoon” phase doesn’t last forever…

Did you know that only 30% of all couples are considered “semi-happy”?


More and more people have resigned themselves to relationships that aren’t fully realized or meeting their true needs.

The good news is that deep, passionate, soulful connection isn’t something that just happens — it’s something that YOU can learn to create.

My amazing friend, Arielle Ford is now hosting the NO COST Online Event:  The Art of Love Relationship Series.

First of all, if you don’t know Arielle, she is the bestselling author of The Soulmate Secret and Wabi Sabi Love, as well as a genuine love ambassador.

She has brought together over 50 of the world’s TOP Love & Relationship luminaries to share their wisdom with you.

Her luminaries and panelists will share their best practices about things such as:

  • How to reawaken hot & steamy bedroom activities,

  • Navigate through relationship stress,

  • Create balance,

  • Break destructive patterns,

  • Sharpen your relationship-building skills

  • Get what you really want from your beloved

  • Add playfulness to your world…and much more!

Best of all, this relationship-boosting event is brought to you at ZERO COST!

The Art of Love Relationship Series 

Now until February 20th, this series features luminaries such as John Gray, don Miguel Ruiz, Alison Armstrong, Neale Donald Walsch, Jack Canfield, Marianne Williamson, Harville Hendrix, Katherine Woodward Thomas, Gay Hendricks, Katie Hendricks, Arielle Ford, Craig Hamilton, Claire Zammit, Debbie Ford, Jean Houston and more.

When you register at no cost, you get access to a Limited Time GIFT BAG, where you’ll receive INSTANT ACCESS to 6 insightful seminars and eBooks!

Whether you’re dating, in a new partnership or have been married for years, improving your relationship skills should be high on your TO DO LIST — YOU do have the power to bring change to your love life!

The Art of Love Relationship Series 

I know that I can’t wait to attend this event and immediately apply its wisdom to my own life.

I look forward to seeing you at The Art of Love Relationship Series!

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Are past trauma’s holding you back from love and success?

Posted on 05 January 2013 by Dr. Karen

Happy New Year 2013!

So we “survived” the Winter Solstice and have formally crossed over to a new plane of existence where we are feeling more like “we are all one”. I definitely feel it with my family and significant other..especially after releasing my Heart Wall (thanks to the Emotion Code). I have some great stories to tell, but for now, I’d like to announce my next radio show!

I’m very thrilled to interview Ron McElroy LIVE on Monday. Author of the inspirational book: Wrong Side of the Tracks, McElroy clearly knows how to build success from scratch.

After surviving a very dark childhood, Ron McElroy went on to become one of Hawaii’s most successful surfer and business consultant–all thanks to the power of positive thinking.

Tune in on Monday and discover McElroy’s insights on how to succeed in various aspects of life—including love and relationships.

Here are the details:

Monday January 7, 12 noon Eastern New York Time.

I’m looking forward to having you join me for the show! And just in case you can’t make it, it will be recorded and available immediately. Just click the link above to listen to the archives.

Dr. Karen Kan


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Need practical abundance coaching?

Posted on 15 December 2012 by Dr. Karen

Ask yourself these three questions. If you say YES to any of them, then read this whole email…

  1. Do you wish you could attract more money while giving your gifts?
  2. Do you wish you could do what you love without sacrificing money needs?
  3. Are you looking or a way to expand your income in a “healthy” way by helping more people?

Are you ready to help more people with your awesome-ness?

…but not enough people know about your awesome-ness, hire you or buy from you? Maybe you don’t even know about your own awesome-ness?

I say make 2013 the year you DECIDE to go BIG…bigger mission, bigger impact and MUCH bigger paycheck.

Not sure how?  Join the club!  There is an epidemic of amazing talented people who really want to GIVE in a bigger way, but aren’t not earning enough to THRIVE.  (It’s really no fun to find your calling, be amazing at it , but earn enough only to SURVIVE).

My transformation coach Margaret Lynch is teaching a totally free training that will change everything for you! She is very dear to my heart, so I want to give you a little taste of what’s she’s given me (which is a lot!)

When she stepped into the work that fed her soul 4 years ago, she loved it…and almost went under financially!  She finally had to admit to herself that she had no idea how to really make money at it.   She was very willing to lots of “inner work” (tapping, chakras, visualizing) but was lost on how to do the “outer work” to reach thousand more people.  

However, she says all that inner work compelled her to be bold and find out what she was missing.  She studied, learned and applied the best strategies, and improved on them until she became almost as known worldwide for her marketing savvy as for her transformational work.  She now enjoys MASS exposure, a huge fan base and the income to THRIVE on.

Now, the truth is…not everyone wants to learn these kinds of strategies.  But if you feel the calling to get serious about your mission in 2013, you need this information!  (And she is teaching her secrets publicly for the very first time.) Run, don’t walk to check this out and secure your spot…

Here new totally Fr*e*e 90 min training just for you, your mission and your income is called:

Stand out like a Rock Star!
6 Steps to Explode Your Visibility, Impact and Income

Sign up now for this totally free training where you will learn how to:
* Captivate your perfect customer and move them to BUY!
* Attract fans who love YOU and your work
* Sell dramatically more and sell higher ticket
* GIVE in way that serves the masses and pays you back

Margaret has streamlined and made fast and easy the BEST strategies working now for people like you…REAL, talented and heart-centered people who want to give more in a real mission that also pays well.

You have worked hard to be AWESOME at what you do, you have earned it!  Now it’s time to Be SEEN, HEARD, VALUED and PAID like the Rock Star you are…by thousands more people.

Check it out and sign up here



PS Don’t miss this fr*e*e training on exactly what to do to make 2013 a blockbuster year for you!

Check it out and sign up here

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The 12th Project: Wake up to the fourth dimension..

Posted on 14 December 2012 by Dr. Karen

I wanted to make sure you visited the link I sent you the other day and watched that informative video.

Here’s the link again:

People using “The 12th Project” are reporting incredible things and amazing results.

Manifesting your dreams requires you to step up past your current levels of vibration.

If you’re ready to take the next step in your spiritual development, you owe it to yourself to check this link NOW:

You know, viewing the world we’re living in, it’s almost like there’s this invisible line drawn in time where on one side most of the population is just existing — just living their day-to-day lives.

And on the other side of the line, there’s people questioning what life is all about, who we are, and waking up to the realization that we are so much more than we were led to believe.

Which side are you on?

There is something you can do about it — even if you’ve got a foot on each side of the line!

Visit this link. You’ll be as amazed as I was…

Dr. Karen

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Your first chakra – the foundation in relationships

Posted on 18 September 2012 by Dr. Karen

Today, I want to talk about your power…

How much power are you carrying in your life?

According to my friend and transformational coach Margaret M. Lynch,
everything builds on a foundation, and you are no different. This
includes your relationships, your business and your health.

Your foundation is your 1st chakra.

Your physical body is the primary element of your first chakra, the
foundation of all that you are. When the first chakra is healthy,
it is like a beautiful and powerfully magnetic tree.

It is your foundation of strength, power and divine worthiness
and is perfectly designed for you to live your life purpose. It
also operates as a magnet, drawing to you the physical stuff that
you need and desire in your life.

When your first chakra is healthy, you feel PRESENT, powerful
and fabulous. Super cool.

Also very cool is the fact that everyone around you will ALSO feel
your presence and power (and fabulousness) too.

How do we know if our first chakra is “healthy”?

Well, Margaret gave me this easy test. Answer this question.

How do you feel about your body, and how safe do you feel to
actually “be in it”?

The answers to those 2 questions often bring up a lot of pain and
sadness, and I hear this so much.

So, do you really love your body?

Or…do any of these fit?

=> Do you feel as though your body has let you down, is imperfect,
is weak or ugly?

=> Is physical sensuality and intimacy just not part of your life

=> Do you feel more anxiety or panic in your body than centered

=> Did you learn that it is not safe to be totally present?

If this is hitting some buttons for you, check out what Margaret
is doing now!

She has created a content-packed, fr*ee class totally dedicated
to the foundation of your power – your 1st Chakra!


Margaret uses a unique blending of world-class consciousness work,
chakra work and tapping to uncover the blocks and vow you have
against your power, clear them away, and show you how to bring
your energy up for more passion, power, enthusiasm…and a magnetic

Don’t miss this free class, she only does it once a year!



Dr. Karen Kan

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Do You Know Your Spiritual Body Type?

Posted on 20 August 2012 by Dr. Karen

Did you know that decades ago, a psychotherapist, Alexander Lowen, discovered that every single human being has one dominant energetic structure (sort of like a personality type) that governs their entire life purpose, their negative defenses as well as their physical body structure?

Today, these “structures” have been rediscovered and redeveloped so that each of us can take advantage of this sage knowledge so that we can not only understand ourselves better, but also appreciate how to relate to others better as well.

My spiritual teacher and counselor for over ten years, Pat Jones, has recently begun teaching lay people as well as energy workers, how to work with these structures, also known as Spiritual Body Types.
Pat has kindly agreed to do a free webinar about the profiles for subscribers on my list! Yay! She is an expert at these profiles and have been working with them for a very long time. The webinar is Wednesday night so go HERE to register as soon as possible.
Most people often have a secondary structure as well. Knowing which of the five structures you were born with can help you get along with others better. In Pat’s webinar you’ll learn:
  1. Incredible insights into yourself, and the reasons why you relate to others in the manner that you do!
  2. Dynamic understanding of the people you are in relationship with, and why they act the way that they do!
  3. Practical suggestions for relating with greater clarity and compassion.
  4. A powerful exercise to help you deal with the pain, anger or sadness you experience as a result of other’s behaviors.
For me, as soon as I began seeing everyone through the lens of these spiritual body types, it was so much easier to appreciate people for their gifts and recognize when they were just in defense. I was also able to become more compassionate because I could see my own defenses more clearly and understand that when people are in defense, they are in their shadow side and they don’t mean to be “bad” people.

Understanding that my mother is a Lover/Challenger profile helped me understand why she was very emotionally needy when I was a young child and why she always needs to be the center of attention. Now, I’m not so quick to judge her as being “overly sensitive” or “attention-seeking”.

Understanding that my significant other, James, is a Creator/Challenger helped me realize that he might not be the best at organizing the finances, but that his playfulness and connection with spirit as well as his ability to be a warrior when necessary are valuable traits that I can appreciate.
Understanding that I am an Achiever/Challenger helped me realize that I’m all about mastery. I learn things very quickly and when I’m in my defense, I can get impatient when others (who aren’t Achievers) don’t. My body type/profile makes me a good teacher as well as a good student. Now, knowing what type I am has helped me appreciate myself more as well as helping me become more compassionate with others.
If you’d like to be able to understand how you tick as well as how to better relate to others, I encourage you to learn more about YOUR spiritual body type. REGISTER HERE. Chat with you on the webinar!


Dr. Karen

PS. knowing your spiritual body type will help you know ahead of time the other types of spiritual body types you’ll tend to attract as well as a heads-up on what conflicts you’ll have as well as how to best heal them.

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Change your beliefs so Law of Attraction will “work”

Posted on 14 August 2012 by Dr. Karen

Would you like to experience more success, happiness, and freedom consistently?

Are you still stuck in certain areas of your life, despite years of personal growth work and thousands of dollars spent on workshops, therapy, and belief transformation processes?

It’s very possible that your subconscious beliefs are getting in your way.  I know this has been true for me.

And I’m thrilled to tell you about a very powerful process for clearing out these self-defeating beliefs–permanently!

It’s called the BeliefCloset Process, and on Wed. August 15th, personal transformation pioneer Lion Goodman will be giving a free teleseminar on his simple, powerful method. If you bought my Law of Attraction in Love eBook, you’ll already know how important shifting our beliefs are. I shared with you my methods in my book, but I’m so happy to be able to invite you to this free training with Lion Goodman!

Join Lion for “Clear Our Your Belief Closet: How to Release Hidden Blocks to Your Success.”

Get more details here:

During this free call, you’ll learn:

–       Three easy ways to identify hidden beliefs that are holding you back

–       A powerful method for shifting any negative or uncomfortable feeling instantly, in the moment!

–       A simple empowerment tool to help you recognize yourself as the creator of your experiences, rather than a victim of your circumstance

According to Lion Goodman and hundreds who’ve done this process, changing your beliefs can be as easy as changing your clothes!

And when you clear out  these self-defeating beliefs, they’re gone — for good – and you’re free to manifest what you really want.

Join me here for this call:

Yours truly,

Karen Kan

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The Art of Allowing – Interview with GP Walsh

Posted on 02 June 2012 by Dr. Karen

The Law of Attraction and the Art of Allowing

On Monday, I’m excited to be interviewing spiritual teacher, composer and EFT trainer, GP Walsh. “G” as he is referred to has a unique spin on why the Law of Attraction is so difficult for many of us. He believes the missing link is the Art of Allowing.

I don’t know about you, but I have traditionally had a REALLY hard time with the concept of allowing. As an achiever, I was all about DOING, rather than allowing. But as I’ve honed my skills in manifesting, I’ve come to realize that G is totally right on about the importance of not only understanding the state of allowance but feeling it. Now I’m manifesting with more joy, curiosity and ease than ever before! And I want that, and more, for you.

If you’ve been struggling at all with manifesting your dreams (or even worse, don’t even acknowledge that you have any), then you’ll want to join us on this show!

Here are the details:

Monday June 4, 2012 at 12 noon Eastern New York Time.

  • Option 1: To listen through the internet, go to where you can find your time zone as well.
  • Option 2: To listen by phone, call 818-514-1190. If you’d like to ask a question “live” on the show, just hit “1” on your dial pad so I can see your hand is up. When the time comes, I will unmute you so you can chat with us.


Dr. Karen

PS GP has kindly created my new radio show opening music – music for balancing the second chakra! It is lovely! Tune in so you can hear it! I love it!!!!

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