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Is A Brain “short-circuit” Ruining Your Relationships?

Posted on 23 July 2011 by Dr. Karen

When The Law of Attraction Isn’t Bringing You What You Want

Remember The Law of Attraction teachings? You are a projector and receiver of frequency, information. Try as you might, do you ever feel like nothing you’re doing is working to bring you more of what you want? Maybe you’ve tried positive thinking, gratitude journaling, mind-movies, imagery, meditation, singing bowls, yoga, EFT, TAT…and still nothing is happening?

I may have the answer for you.

This may be a strange article for some. But I’m going out on a limb here and connecting my experience as a holistic medical doctor, energy worker and coach all together to bring you an extremely important message. You’re probably not going to hear this from any other Law of Attraction expert who isn’t a medical professional.

Brain “short-circuits” May Cause Relationship Problems

What I’m about to tell you is a recent discovery of mine, but I believe the discovering is profound and I really want to share it with you.

For many years now, I’ve been helping my patients heal holistically by using a combination of acupuncture, sound therapy, nutritional therapy and holistic health counseling. Most everyone who stuck with the program got well and many went from being disabled to being productive and happy again.

But there were always a handful of patients who never got better permanently. They’d feel great after acupuncture but the well-being would only last hours to days and then return to baseline. Nothing in my tool kit at the time could help them transform from a state of low energy, pain and depression to one of light and good energy. Although they appreciated my loving care, it frustrated me that I didn’t understand why they weren’t getting better like the rest.

Common among these “non-responders” were symptoms of depression, anxiety, PMS, chronic pain and fatigue. Most of them had strained relationships and some even refused to see people because everyone “drained” them of energy.

Well, about four months ago, everything changed because I learned something very profound.

An Enlightening Experience

The first thing that happened is that  I learned a new technique to check someone’s nervous system balance and regulation (a.k.a. brain balance). It was quick, easy and reproducible and I have Dr. Robert Stashko to thank for that. Basically a simple two-part muscle test could determine whether someone’s brain (nervous system) was “short-circuited”.

Then a new “anti-stress” patch product was released by a company that I work with. On a whim, I decided to use this patch on the acupuncture points on the head while testing someone for brain balance. To my utter shock, I discovered that this simple device could immediately brain balance someone.

The first person I tested was a friend and really didn’t have any symptoms. He just wanted to decalcify his pineal gland. I won’t go into why, but let’s just say he had read about it in a book.  When I tested him, he failed badly at which point he quipped, “Do you think the five concussions I had have anything to do with it?”

He was bald so he agreed  to patch the top of his head (this isn’t the only acupuncture point I use with people) with this patch every day for two weeks. When he returned two weeks later, I repeated the brain balance test and he was now normal. I asked him for feedback and what he said seemed rather odd to me at first:

“I’m not sure if it is the patch but I seem to be really connecting with people more lately…and even people that used to annoy me are now tolerable. There’s been a lot of synchronicities I can’t explain. And basically I don’t seem to be bothered about too much these days.”

I didn’t know what to think about his comment, but decided to continue brain balancing every patient that walked in the door because I knew it was important to get the brain back on track.

Well after a few weeks of doing this, amazing stories began to emerge. Although I wasn’t surprised that their physical complaints were getting better (sleeping better, more energy, losing weight, better mood, less stress), what amazed me was what my patients shared about the positive changes to their lives.

A couple who had been in a bitter divorce suddenly began communicating to each other again in a civil manner… People who were mired in co-dependent relationships were suddenly able to “let go” of negative relationship patterns after years of being unable to do so… One divorced patient suddenly began dating a wonderful man she had had a crush on many years ago…and another patient suddenly found the perfect house to buy.

The list goes on and on.

It was as if the brain balancing with the patch helped each person listen to their Higher Self. For many, it was the first time they “heard” their guidance so clearly.

What was clear to me was that when my patients were “brain balanced”, they automatically and effortlessly made better life decisions. Not only that, they attracted more positive opportunities, positive relationships and even more money.

To be honest I had NO IDEA that repairing the short-circuit in the brain would have such profound effects.

Do You Need a Brain Re-Wiring?

Almost 100% of new patients coming to see me fail the brain balance test. I can always tell who is brain balanced or not by how well they are doing. And the minute they “fall off the wagon”, I know why.

So how do you know if YOUR brain is affecting your life and your relationships? If you’ve struggled with stress, bad relationships, fear, scarcity, insecurity, irritability etc., it might not be your FAULT! You might have a brain short-circuit. If you’re stressed out all the time, you are 100% guaranteed to FAIL the brain balance test.

Here is a partial list of the most common reasons people’s brains get short-circuited:

  • Electromagnetic radiation from using cell phones, cordless phones, wireless internet, iPads etc.
  • Head injuries, concussions, hard falls
  • Toxins to the brain such as aspartame, MSG, mercury and lead

Here’s the good news. It is easy to get your brain balance back and the positive transformations occur rapidly, within one or two weeks. All you have to do is “patch your head” with this anti-stress patch, drink lots of water. Of course it helps to live a healthy lifestyle, but having your brain balanced this way will often motivate you to live healthier.

Then the next thing you do is to prevent your brain from short-circuiting again by using corded phones and getting a hard-wire internet connection. If you must use wireless, laptops, cell phones and iPads, at least purchase a protective device. And PLEASE don’t use artificial sweeteners!

So if you could use help with your Law of Attraction projector and receiver device (i.e. your BRAIN) and you’d like to try out the head patching for a month, contact me to purchase a month’s supply and I’ll make sure you know how to use them. You’ll only need a couple weeks of patching to notice the difference.

Brain Balance Enhances Your Law of Attraction Results
Lastly, don’t let go of all your Law of Attraction tools (meditation, imagery, EFT, TAT etc.) go to waste, because when you’re “patched” and brain balanced, those tools work even better!
Dr. Karen Kan
P.S. please comment if this post was helpful!

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How do I keep him from cheating on me!

Posted on 29 April 2011 by Dr. Karen

Dear Dr. Karen,

I have been married to my husband for 20 years and we have children. Even before we were married, he cheated on me. And he has time and time again! He lies and gets very defensive when I confront him, but eventually the truth comes out. I’ve left him seven times but I always go back. I’ve asked him to leave several times as well, but he always comes begging me to take him back.

And I always take him back because I love him so much. I still love him. I am tired of being hurt by him, but I remain suspicious that he’s seeing someone else behind my back. This way of life has tampered with my self-esteem and in search of solutions I have tried everything.

I now have come across the Law of Attraction but my doubts are still there: does he really love me and want to be with me? and can a situation like this change using the Law of Attraction? Please help!


Dear Nina,

Thanks for your honest letter. I hope my answer will be helpful to you. But first, I have a question for you?

What are you expecting the Law of Attraction to do for you?

Are you expecting it to magically change your husband so that he isn’t the “cheating type” any longer? Because if that is the case, then I can tell you very easily that the Law of Attraction doesn’t work this way. We can’t use the Law of Attraction to change other people against their free will.

However, what you CAN use the Law of Attraction for is to create happiness for yourself. Whether your husband is part of that ultimate happiness is up to you and the Universe to co-create together. Your Law of Attraction “wish” statement could be something like:

I am thoroughly enjoying a fulfilling romantic relationship with my soulmate.

Sometimes we fool ourselves in thinking we truly love someone when we only truly love certain parts, or aspects, of them. What I mean by this is that you seem to enjoy enough aspects of your spouse to keep him around. But there are aspects of him that you don’t like so you aren’t truly happy. Isn’t that right?

So here’s the truth of the matter:

  • the highest form of love means being able to accept who our lovers are without judgment or expectation, but that doesn’t mean that you always like or enjoy what they are doing. There is a difference.
  • you can’t change another person. You don’t have that kind of control. You can only change yourself and your reactions to situations. When you can change yourself and be fully responsible for your own happiness, then you’ll see the relationship shift remarkably.

So you have a couple of very simple choices here Nina. It is high time you took 100% responsibility for your experiences. He is not responsible for your unhappiness, you are. I don’t mean to sound harsh, but you’ve been on this yo-yo ride for over 20 years now. When will you decide to change your experience? When will you realize that what you’ve been doing all these years doesn’t work?

Here are some choices:

You can choose to accept that your husband “cheats”,  and in that acceptance, you can enjoy him as much as possible when he’s around, and give up trying to change or criticize him for not being who you think he should be (the equivalent of telling a bear that it should acting like an antelope)

Do something drastically different for a change maybe. For example,  study books on open marriages or polyamory and see if any of those resonate with either of you. If “cheating” was genetic, like diabetes, would you be as judgmental of it? Probably not. I’m not saying it is, but what if it was?

Just trying to open minds here…

How about this new thought pattern: Can you entertain the possibility that your husband loving other people in no way diminishes his love for you? Does a candle flame diminish when it lights another candle? Love is light. Think about that.

I’m bringing this up because we’ve been unconsciously indoctrinated in the concept that the ONLY way a relationship can be successful is through monogamy. Anytime there is an absolute rule, we all should be questioning it’s validity, because somewhere, sometime, long ago, someone made that rule in order to control others.

Remember, it wasn’t long ago when women and children were considered a man’s property. And in some parts of the world, they still are (sigh!).

So Nina, in summary, you can either change your perspective (by letting go of victim-hood, judgment or expectations) or change your situation by leaving, but you can’t change him. Got it? Hope so.

So if you’re not willing to leave because having him around is BETTER than not having him around, then just admit to yourself that you’ve CHOSEN this relationship in its current form and stop being the victim. You’re not the victim here. You’re choosing this. When you can be compassionate with yourself about choosing this relationship, then you can let go of all the judgment of how imperfect it is and just ENJOY your husband.

If these steps seem too difficult for you, as I imagine they might be, I suggest that you book yourself into seeing a relationship coach or counselor and get some support. We all need support for our spiritual and personal growth, so I encourage you to be courageous and find an expert that you resonate with.

In the meantime, I highly recommend you pick up a copy of Neale Donald Walsch’s book on Relationships and read it over and over again:

You can also listen to the interview I did with him HERE.

I believe in you Nina. Thanks for helping others with your question.


Dr. Karen Kan
P.S. Anyone reading this post, feel free to comment.

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Understanding how the Haiti earthquake affects you (and vice versa)

Posted on 15 January 2010 by Dr. Karen

Why are we getting earthquakes? Isn’t it awful..all those people dying?

These are some of the questions I get asked. These are a loaded questions.

Let me ask you this: how did you feel when you learned about the lives lost in the Haiti earthquake? How did your body feel in the day(s) prior to, during and after the earthquake?

Why am I asking?

Because it affects you even if this is the first time you’re reading about it. As reported in Lynne McTaggart’s book, The Intention Experiment, any significant emotional shift in the planet experienced by a large number of people are felt all over the world as evidenced by the random event generator experiments. These machines are like a random toss of the coin. Without any intention being placed on them, they will split up the toss 50:50.

But when there is significant intention or similar thoughts shared by significant numbers of people, they no longer are RANDOM….to me that is proof that our thoughts hold great power to change matter.

Did you notice yourself feeling uneasy or irritable a day or two before the Haiti earthquake on the 12th of January? Did you feel tired on that day? Don’t be upset at yourself if you were out of sorts, most people were…but they may not have known WHY.

The answer to “why” are we getting so many earthquakes is not fully obvious, but there are many answers. See which ones resonate with you:

1. Mother earth needs to “let off steam” – as negative energy builds and builds it transforms or manifests into something physical. It could be a tumor or it could be an earthquake. Neither is judged “bad”, it is just a shift in energetic form.

2. It is an opportunity, spiritually, for people to connect as one (energetically as the random event generators would prove to us) and an opportunity for us to be more present and compassionate with those around us.

3. We are in the “dark” ages of our World Age as described by the Aztec and Vedic traditions and earthquakes, wars, famine, are just some of the things to expect during this time and through 2012. PASTE

4. It is the opportunity for some to rise above their current state of light into a higher state of being. It reminds me of the Canadian man who practically rebuilt a whole town’s homes after hurricane Katrina hit (with newer technology that would widthstand a future hurricane).

There is ONE thing I know for sure though and that is how you can help. Of course you can help with giving money in the disaster relief. Money, of course, is just another form of energy. If you’re feeling sad, confused or even depressed, then I need to warn you that your reaction is not in your best interest (nor the best interests of those who are in the midst of recovering from this natural disaster). Here’s why:

Since your thoughts generate “things” in the real world especially when they are added to similar thoughts from others all over the world, it is your responsibility to hold the energy of empowerment and light during a great time of stress. In other words, your feeling depressed and upset is NOT HELPING and is in fact hindering the healing of others.

That doesn’t mean that you do not feel genuine compassion and sadness in the moment as you connect with those who lost love ones. Of course you do. But at the same time, your job is to live your life to the fullest, to your greatest potential – to shine YOUR LIGHT so that it will empower all others.

One of my teachers used to say, “You will either inspire others with your greatness or infect them with your mediocrity”.

So as you go about your day, the prayer I’d like you to keep in your heart for those in Haiti is one of their recovery and health, as if it has already happened (that’s how you manifest!!!). If you can do that for them, you can do it for yourself too. So don’t “pray for” them in a way that “asks” for their healing, but instead pray in joy and gratitude for the healing that has already happened in your mind. Get it? 

I need your help in this regard. Our energies combined can make a bigger difference! Please let me know how you’re feeling by commenting BELOW!

In the meantime the Ask Dr. Karen box is back up on the website! For those that were looking for it, I appreciate your patience.

If you’d like to ask me a relationship or Law of Attraction questions, you can now fill in the form on the CONTACT page. If it is a question that hasn’t been answered before on my blog or radio show, then I’ll be posting the answer up in one of these two forums.

Dr. Karen Kan

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Dear Dr. Karen: How Do I Use the Law of Attraction to Get a Doctor as My Partner?

Posted on 25 May 2009 by Dr. Karen

Dear Dr. Karen,


How do I use the law of attraction to get a Doctor as my life partner? how should be my daily affirmations be? my family is looking for proposals and I desire to marry a doctor. so pls advise me.



Dear Shana,

Let me ask you a question before I answer you. If a man you knew only wanted to marry a blond American model with a bust size of 34C, what would you say to him? Would you judge him shallow? Unintelligent? Inflexible?

Let me ask you another question. Why do you want to marry a doctor? Because you’ve always wanted to be one and you couldn’t, so this is second best? Because you think somehow it will bring you financial security? (It doesn’t by the way..I’m a doctor and most I know are eyeballs in debt!) Because it will make your family happy and stop pestering you to get married? Or because somehow it will make you seem like a worthy person in the eyes of others?

Why am I asking you these questions? Because The Universe will NEED to know your WHY. You don’t need to tell me, but you do need to be brutally honest with yourself (and thus the Universe) as to the why. If your WHY is big enough AND resonates with your soul’s wish AND is in the highest and best interest of all, then you will manifest your dreams.

Let me present you with my guesses as to what this is all about. When I was a little girl, it was considered prestigious to marry a doctor. I suppose it still is. The belief at the time was that I would have an easy time after marriage…my husband would take care of the finances and I could just relax my way to happiness. It would make me look “lucky” if I snagged one and I would have fur coats and diamond rings like my mother always wanted for herself (but she married a teacher, so she had to buy these things herself!). I would live the life of luxury.

Well, I decided that I didn’t want to be someone’s trophy wife, so instead I became a doctor myself. And then I got to witness firsthand what the life of a doctor is like and what the family has to endure. Let’s just say that being the traditional doctor’s wife (or husband) is a thankless job. Being a wife is worse because of our societal expectations of women in general. Traditionally, the wife takes care of the finances, childcare, volunteering, cooking, cleaning and the husband who could be grumpy and tired after working 36 hours in a row. Yes, there are some material perks, but with a partner who isn’t available, how fun is that?

OK, well the modern doctor’s marriage is a little better for women here in N. America at least. There is more equality and the guys pitch in to help around the house more.

But you know what, it isn’t any easier than marrying a non-doctor. Doctor’s wives are just as happy or unhappy as anyone else and have more stressors. More is expected of them. They are “just the wife” in the eyes of others and that is a tough place to be if your spouse is the “hero” doctor and you are not.

A doctor is simply just another person. He may earn more than the average person, but he also works more than the average person – between 60-100 hours a week. If you are marrying him just for his “money”, you won’t be very happy. I can guarantee that!

Besides, the best way to marry into wealth is to become wealthy yourself. Like attracts like. That’s the law of attraction. If you don’t resonate those vibrations, you won’t be able to attract it!

So a more appropriate affirmation would be: “I am abundantly wealthy and happy, married to a man who loves and adores me”

And after all that I’ve said, if you are still wanting to marry a doctor, then your BEST chance bar none is to go to medical school and become one. Many of my doctor colleagues married each other! Why? Because if you are spending 100+ hours a week seeing no one else except colleagues and patients, who else do you date????


Dr. Karen Kan

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Dear Dr. Karen: How Can An African Woman Use the Law of Attraction?

Posted on 03 April 2009 by Dr. Karen

Dear Dr. Karen,

Thank you for all your newsletters and for teaching me about the law of attraction. My question is: how can I, as an African woman, apply this law of attraction to my life?


Dear Israa,

The wonderful thing about the law of attraction is that it is like the law of gravity: it shows no favorites! It doesn’t matter whether you are African or Asian or Hispanic – anyone can practice harnessing the law of attraction to magnetize more of what they want into their life.

The interesting thing about your question is that it feels like you have a preconceived idea that harnessing the law of attraction would be more difficult given your ancestry. Is that true? Be honest.

If it is true, you have then been given a gift! Why? Because you have now identified a LIMITING BELIEF that you have that may be blocking you from manifesting what you want. It is similar to someone who thinks they are too fat, too old, too young, or too ugly to be able to manifest their soulmate or dream partner using the law of attraction.

Whatever you believe, you will conceive. In other words, if you believe that being African makes it harder for you to attract your perfect mate, then you will co-create THAT reality in your life. If you believe it will be harder, it WILL be harder.

My ex-husband had a long-held believe that the type of person he wanted as his new partner didn’t exist. He wanted an Asian “mountain” woman. In other words, he wanted to be with another Asian woman who was feminine and attractive but was at the same time “tough” and willing to “rough it” in the woods even it it meant no running water or a toilet. (Guess what, I was DEFINITELY not a mountain woman. I tried for years but made myself miserable and sick trying. I’ve gone back to who I really am: A Princess! Ha ha)

When I confronted my ex-husband about his beliefs, as did some of his best friends, he conceded to let go of his non-supportive belief that his ideal woman didn’t exist. Within a month or so, he met a beautiful Asian woman online that met all his criteria!

So my suggestion to you is to let go of the belief that your race has anything to do with how well you can manifest your dream partner. You are a valuable loving human being. That is enough.


Dr. Karen Kan

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Dear Dr. Karen: I’m Unhappily Married – I Seek Someone to Give Me the Love I Long For

Posted on 06 February 2009 by Dr. Karen

Dear Dr. Karen,

I am married but unhappy. I constantly seek for someone to come into my life and give me the love i long for.



Dear Azlin,


First of all, I can empathize with your situation. I was there once. Unlike you though, I couldn’t even admit to myself I was unhappy in my marriage. I was blind to it. It wasn’t until I met a man who was everything my husband was not, that I began to consciously question the quality of my marriage.


So believe me when I say – you’re ahead of the game!


Azlin, what I’ve come to learn is that if you expect someone to fill a void that you have, you will be sorely disappointed in the outcome. It is not possibly for someone to GIVE you the love you long for. It is an illusion. The truth is that we absolutely CANNOT receive what we cannot give. It is part of the law of attraction.


There is nothing wrong with longing to feel loved. Been there, done that. However, what I’ve discovered (and many teachers have talked about) is that the “other” person in the relationship is only a reflection of the LOVE you have for yourself. In other words, if you cannot love yourself fully when you are without a partner, you cannot possibly attract a partner that loves you fully either.


You need to work on self-love. How loving is it to force yourself to suffer an unhappy marriage? How loving is it to pretend every day of your life? How loving is it to keep yourself scared of moving on and moving forward with your current relationship?


And let’s talk a moment about your ability to love another. Guess what? Your ability to give love is limited by your degree of self-love. You cannot give what you do not have.


How loving is it to lie to your spouse (in essence by seeking someone else while in relationship to your spouse without telling him/her)? How loving is it to prevent your spouse from possibly moving onto a relationship that would be more fulfillling because you are too scared to let go of him/her?


Please don’t take my questioning as harsh. These are questions that I had to grapple with when I was choosing my path while I was unhappily married. When I told my husband that I could no longer stay in our current relationship and that I’d dreamed of being with someone else (I was sobbing uncontrollably when I told him), one of the first things he asked was,


“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”


What he meant was, “Why did you string me along for all these years when you were not happy? Why did you pretend? Is our whole relationship a lie?” etc.


In my defense, I thought I was “protecting” him from the awful truth. I was “protecting” him from being hurt. In the end, I hurt him more by keeping the truth from him. Why? Because I literally tricked him into believing we were “OK” so that I didn’t have to face his (and my parents’) negative reactions to the TRUTH. The reality was that I WAS BEING SELFISH BY STAYING IN THE MARRIAGE AND PRETENDING.


In fact, I had to get a serious illness before I could finally face the truth.


I hope it doesn’t come down to this for you. I went through a lot of pain. I’m sure you’re probably going through a lot too.


Here’s the good new – you don’t have to.


You have a CHOICE. You can be REAL and AUTHENTIC and have the courage to face whatever lies ahead OR or you can live the rest of your life pretending and full of obligation.


Your choice.


I know. It isn’t easy.


But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. When you do your own personal growth work and have the courage to take 100% responsibility for your own happiness, you’ll find that what is best for you ends up being what is best for the other person (even it if doesn’t seem like it at the beginning).


My ex-husband is now in a relationship with a lovely woman who is his match. They have an amazing little daughter and I can truly say he is much much happier than he ever was married to me.


I highly encourage you to get some counseling or coaching as soon as possible. You need the support.



Dr. Karen Kan



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Handling Rejection and the Law of Attraction

Posted on 27 October 2008 by Dr. Karen

The other day, I received word that out of 80 applicants that submitted proposals to teach at a high profile conference, I was not chosen to participate. It was a perfect example of how the outcome of your intentions are not always what you expect. So how do I handle rejection?

Well! Very differently from how I used to handle rejection! I used to take rejection personally and feel bad about myself. I used to ask myself, “what’s wrong with me” or decide that I wasn’t “good enough”. Can you relate? This old programming was making me miserable and for years, despite high achievements in almost every area of my life, I had very low self-esteem.

Today, I can celebrate rejection!

Why? Because I can celebrate how rejection (or praise for that matter) is no longer “personal”. In other words, I no longer let praise or rejection define me as a “good” or “bad” person. So here is how I use the law of attraction in dealing with rejection: I reframe it.

In other words, I make up a story of how it best serves me.

For example, I now assume that if I didn’t get the “job” I wanted, it must mean that the decision-maker and I are not on the same wave-length (vibration) and therefore it is an inappropriate match. Thus I can thank the Universe for kindly saving me heartache and headache from a mismatched relationship.

Secondly, I also assume that it must mean that an even BETTER opportunity is quickly coming my way. And so, believe it or not, I’m even EXCITED for my future, despite the rejection.

Thirdly, I can see how far I’ve come in my personal growth from my past programming by observing my reaction (or lack of reaction) to the news of my rejection. This gives me an opportunity to appreciate myself more. It is confirmation that my joy and happiness and sense of self-worth come from within and has nothing to do with anyone else’s view of me. Know what I mean?

Even though I had set my intentions very clearly in teaching the program this year and was rejected, I’m imagining that I will be offered an even bigger opportunity, so it has motivated me to keep working towards my intentions or “goals”. There is not even one moment of hesitation. Nor is there any regret or perception of wasted time.

You know what was really cool too? Not only did I avoid my old patterns of thinking i.e. “I’m not good enough”, I actually perceived that it was the other camp that was really losing out from the amazing value I had to offer. It reminds me of the time that I was “dumped” by this guy years ago and I remember having thought to myself, “Hmmf! His loss!”

So what does this have to do with the law of attraction? It has everything to do with it. You see, if you let rejections get you down, your vibration diminishes and you begin attracting less of what you want. On the other hand, if you don’t take rejections personally and just use them as learning experiences, then you will keep your vibration high and you will manifest what you want faster and faster as time goes by.

Author and successful business consultant, Christine Comaford-Lynch, in her book, Rules for Renegades, talks about rejection and failures as opportunities to grow. In fact, she says to “fail forward” – in other words, use your failures to your future advantage.

By reframing your “losses” into “wins” – guess what? You ALWAYS win. EVERYTHING can be perceived as serving you. Cool or Cool? And if you came to my Law of Attraction Intensive Workshop, you’ll remember that we did a very special group exercise called reframing where you brainstormed on how to make your “losses” into “wins”. If you weren’t there, I’d highly recommend that you pick up a copy of the Home Study Course with the included handouts so you can practice reframing.


Dr. Karen Kan

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Dear Dr. Karen: Can I Use the Law of Attraction to Win Back My Ex?

Posted on 02 October 2008 by Dr. Karen

Dear Dr. Karen,Can the law of attraction be used to win back an “ex” that you know is the “one”?


Dear Melissa,

Anything is possible with the law of attraction. It is possible that your “ex” is your best match. But if your “ex” is not open right now, you can’t force things to happen. In fact, by forcing things, you work against your manifesting. When you force things, you are telling the universe that you are not confident that the best possible outcome will occur and that you are in fear. And in the language of the law of attraction, fear begets more fear. Scarcity begets more scarcity. See what I mean?

You may very well be able to win back your “ex” by visualizing the two of your being together and feeling those yummy happy feelings when you visualize….so long as he is in a similar vibration. And let me ask you this: if I told you it would take ten years to win him back and in the interim he’s produced two children with someone else, would you be willing to wait?

Here’s an exercise you can do to encourage loving feelings between you and your “ex”. Again, I want to reiterate that you cannot manipulate his destiny by using the law of attraction. He has free will, just as you do. What you can do, though, is send loving feelings and detachment (which helps manifesting a lot!)…sending a loving vibration is very attracting. Sending an “attached” vibration is not.

OK, here’s the exercise: Everyday, pull out your journal and write a virtual letter to your “ex”. You aren’t going to send this letter, but what you are going to do is write down everything you love and enjoy about him. What you appreciate appreciates – that’s the law of attraction. Get it? So the more you appreciate him, even if he’s decided to take space from you, the more likely he’ll “hear” your vibrations and respond.

But there are no guarantees. Keep us posted!


Dr. Karen Kan

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