What do I do during the “detachment” phase of manifesting?

Posted on 20 December 2010 by Dr. Karen

Hi Dr. Karen

Ive done a lot of research into the Law of Attraction. I’m seriously pursuing a soul mate. I did the laundry list & came up with my list of wants. There was 26 :).. The next phase would be manifestation & detachment.

What do I do during this detachment phase??.. Do I keep visualizing my wants or how do I go about it??.. Please help because that’s the part I don’t understand.

Thank you,


Dear Christina,

Congrats for making your clear list of “who” you would like to attract into your love life! You’re right about detachment – it is an important step. I think the book I just finished reading, Manifesting Change by Mike Dooley says it best. Like in my Creating Your Fairytale Love Life eBook, you first create your wish list and use that to generate the “feeling” of already having manifested your dreams.

Then you detach emotionally from needing your dream to come true the way you think it should, but instead become open to something even better coming along. The Universe, when given plenty of wiggle room, will always find the best, most perfect and entertaining ways of getting you what you really want.

So in the detachment phase, your job is to, as Mike says, move in the general direction of your dreams. To give you a concrete example. If my dream is to become the best adult pairs figure skater in the world, moving in the general direction of my dreams means putting the time into to training and getting good coaching.

So to manifest your ideal partner, what are you doing to move in the general direction of your dreams? Here’s the trick, you don’t have to be moving in the “right” direction…you just have to be moving. Mike uses a great analogy in his book. When you use a GPS device in your car, you first need to input the destination right?

What happens if you don’t move? Yup, nothing.

What if you move in the opposite direction by mistake? The GPS will steer you towards the final destination and eventually you’ll make it there despite the number of detours you may take.

So you need to decide what you can do to move towards your dream. Is it cleaning out your closets so that your dream partner’s “stuff” can fit in them? Is it getting more “social” and taking a class you’ve always been interested in? Is it getting more fit so you feel good and strong in your body (and thus your vibration will be strong)?

Get a copy of Mike’s newest book if you’ve already read mine. It is a perfect compliment.

I believe in you. Let me know if this has been helpful by commenting below.


Dr. Karen

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