Dear Dr. Karen,
An Indian priest told me I would never have a long lasting relationship with a man. I’m tired of having my heart broken. I’m just wondering; what is the purpose of trying when you know it won’t last?
Having your heart broken is indeed tiring if it is something that happens over and over again, and you do not feel you have grown or benefited from the experience. On the other hand, the “most joyful” people on this earth are willing to “try” over and over again and possibly get their hearts broken. Why? Because it is in the journey that they learn the most amazing things about themselves and others.
So the direct answer to your question of “What is the purpose of trying when you know it won’t last?” would be:
“because I learn something new and wonderful about myself and others each time I try…and I become closer to my true Self”
Mona, even though this is the “answer” to your question, we’ll have to go deeper because the actual question you are asking isn’t what you truly want to know, is it?
Here are some other questions for you to ask yourself:
1. If the Indian priest, whom I trust, tells me that I will never have a long lasting relationship, is that really my fate? Can I not change that fate?
2. Am I willing to relegate my responsibility to co-creating what I want to another person who tells me it is impossible?
3. Would I be willing to risk having my “heartbroken” if I knew that it was just part of the journey towards manifesting my ideal relationship?
4. If my capacity for joy and peace is proportional to my willingness to experience pain and suffering, would I be open to experience what I need to learn in order to get to the other side?
Here’s the thing, Mona. You clearly want something different from what the Indian priest told you, right? So you have a decision to make. Those who have been studying and training the Law of Attraction will tell you that your desire is a powerful magnet to co-creating your reality with the Universe.
Your choices: You decide that you believe whatever the Indian priest says and you cannot change your fate OR you decide that what he/she said was just one perspective but that you choose to believe you can create a different reality.
It is up to you. I, for one, would prefer to create my own destiny. Of course, what we co-create is not in a vacuum…the outcome has to be in the highest good of all in order for it to happen. So in your situation, unless you can come up with a really GREAT reason that the world would NOT benefit from you being in a happy relationship, (maybe there is one, but I can’t think of any) then there is a possibility that you can achieve what you want.
Does that make sense?
Besides, what the Indian priest was “reading” when you saw him/her was your energy field at that moment in time. The energy you emanated was one of lack and disappointment, so it makes sense that your “future” was headed for the same energetic imprint. He/she was correct in their “reading”.
However, your “future” can change moment to moment depending on the average energetic field you are emanating. So to change your “future” you need to shift your current energy field to a higher vibration from one of lack and disappointment to one of gratitude and abundance.
Thus, even though the priest may have been “correct” in his reading at the time, it can become completely wrong if you jump to a new energy stream. And to jump to a new energy stream, all you need to do is start growing.
If all of us do not grow, do you know what we do? We die. Growing or evolving is part of our human journey. Plants are either growing or dying. They don’t stay still. Get it?
So if you’re getting the “same old thing” happening to you in relationships, it either means you haven’t learned from your past relationships and shifted into a higher energy state, or that the perception you have chosen does not serve you in getting you what you want.
Here is a quick exercise you can do immediately to start shifting a perception that doesn’t serve you. Instead of dumping all of your previously heartbreaking relationships into the “that was a waste of time and the only good thing it did was to hurt me” bucket, I want you to make a list of all the GIFTS you were given as a result of those relationships….and I mean EACH AND EVERY ONE.
Are you stumped yet? Or are you excited to start growing?
Can you not appreciate ANY of the gifts? Because there are many. To the extent you can “see” those gifts, you will shift into higher energy state, thereby moving towards (as opposed to away from) manifesting what you want.
Here’s a summary:
- You can choose to see your past as just “hurts” or as gifts from which you can grow and move closer to what you wish to manifest
- The priest will be “right” about his prediction if you do not consciously decide that he is not, (you take back the responsibility for co-creating your life instead of giving it to others)
- You have the power to co-create your reality even it is different from the one the priest told you about
- You need to move into a higher energy state in order to achieve a reality you have not been able to create previously
- Working on your personal growth is the way to move into a higher energy state
Mona, I challenge you to write down (you can use the comment section below the blog post) every gift you can appreciate from your past “heartbreaking” relationships, so you can move forward. This is just a start. Often we need help in shifting our energy. What you can do is get support from someone who has already accomplished what you wish to accomplish and learn from that person.
I believe in you.
Dr. Karen Kan