Archive | May, 2010

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An Indian priest predicted my love life

Posted on 30 May 2010 by Dr. Karen

Dear Dr. Karen,

An Indian priest told me I would never have a long lasting relationship with a man.  I’m tired of having my heart broken. I’m just wondering; what is the purpose of trying when you know it won’t last?


Dear Mona,

Having your heart broken is indeed tiring if it is something that happens over and over again, and you do not feel you have grown or benefited from the experience. On the other hand, the “most joyful” people on this earth are willing to “try” over and over again and possibly get their hearts broken. Why? Because it is in the journey that they learn the most amazing things about themselves and others.

So the direct answer to your question of “What is the purpose of trying when you know it won’t last?” would be:

“because I learn something new and wonderful about myself and others each time I try…and I become closer to my true Self”

Mona, even though this is the “answer” to your question, we’ll have to go deeper because the actual question you are asking isn’t what you truly want to know, is it?

Here are some other questions for you to ask yourself:

1.  If the Indian priest, whom I trust, tells me that I will never have a long lasting relationship, is that really my fate? Can I not change that fate?

2.  Am I willing to relegate my responsibility to co-creating what I want to another person who tells me it is impossible?

3.  Would I be willing to risk having my “heartbroken” if I knew that it was just part of the journey towards manifesting my ideal relationship?

4.  If my capacity for joy and peace is proportional to my willingness to experience pain and suffering, would I be open to experience what I need to learn in order to get to the other side?

Here’s the thing, Mona. You clearly want something different from what the Indian priest told you, right? So you have a decision to make. Those who have been studying and training the Law of Attraction will tell you that your desire is a powerful magnet to co-creating your reality with the Universe.

Your choices: You decide that you believe whatever the Indian priest says and you cannot change your fate OR you decide that what he/she said was just one perspective but that you choose to believe you can create a different reality.

It is up to you. I, for one, would prefer to create my own destiny. Of course, what we co-create is not in a vacuum…the outcome has to be in the highest good of all in order for it to happen. So in your situation, unless you can come up with a really GREAT reason that the world would NOT benefit from you being in a happy relationship, (maybe there is one, but I can’t think of any) then there is a possibility that you can achieve what you want.

Does that make sense?

Besides, what the Indian priest was “reading” when you saw him/her was your energy field at that moment in time. The energy you emanated was one of lack and disappointment, so it makes sense that your “future” was headed for the same energetic imprint. He/she was correct in their “reading”.

However, your “future” can change moment to moment depending on the average energetic field you are emanating. So to change your “future” you need to shift your current energy field to a higher vibration from one of lack and disappointment to one of gratitude and abundance.

Thus, even though the priest may have been “correct” in his reading at the time, it can become completely wrong if you jump to a new energy stream. And to jump to a new energy stream, all you need to do is start growing.

If all of us do not grow, do you know what we do? We die. Growing or evolving is part of our human journey. Plants are either growing or dying. They don’t stay still. Get it?

So if you’re getting the “same old thing” happening to you in relationships, it either means you haven’t learned from your past relationships and shifted into a higher energy state, or that the perception you have chosen does not serve you in getting you what you want.

Here is a quick exercise you can do immediately to start shifting a perception that doesn’t serve you. Instead of dumping all of your previously heartbreaking relationships into the “that was a waste of time and the only good thing it did was to hurt me” bucket, I want you to make a list of all the GIFTS you were given as a result of those relationships….and I mean EACH AND EVERY ONE.

Are you stumped yet? Or are you excited to start growing?

Can you not appreciate ANY of the gifts? Because there are many. To the extent you can “see” those gifts, you will shift into higher energy state, thereby moving towards (as opposed to away from) manifesting what you want.

Here’s a summary:

  • You can choose to see your past as just “hurts” or as gifts from which you can grow and move closer to what you wish to manifest
  • The priest will be “right” about his prediction if you do not consciously decide that he is not, (you take back the responsibility for co-creating your life instead of giving it to others)
  • You have the power to co-create your reality even it is different from the one the priest told you about
  • You need to move into a higher energy state in order to achieve a reality you have not been able to create previously
  • Working on your personal growth is the way to move into a higher energy state


Mona, I challenge you to write down (you can use the comment section below the blog post) every gift you can appreciate from your past “heartbreaking” relationships, so you can move forward. This is just a start. Often we need help in shifting our energy. What you can do is get support from someone who has already accomplished what you wish to accomplish and learn from that person.

I believe in you.


Dr. Karen Kan

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Wisdom from a Teenager

Posted on 10 May 2010 by Dr. Karen

I’m always amazed by kids. Here is one that inspired me last week.

The other day, my teenage patient, Charlie, was in to see me for a doctor’s appointment. I was so inspired by him and what he told me that day that I called him later to get his permission to share his story with you. I get teary-eyed just thinking about it.

Charlie is very laid back, according to his parents, unless he is racing cross-country in skis. On this particular day, I asked him how things were going and as usual, he answered, “pretty good.” For some reason, I asked him if he had any stressors recently, physical, emotional, mental etc.

He paused for a moment and I sat forward to listen (because he usually says, “no, not really”). Apparently at school, he just found out that another student had deliberately smashed every single one of his ceramic art pieces. For weeks, he’d make something and then find it broken the next day. Innocently, he figured his ceramics skills were just “shotty” and for weeks, he just kept trying over and over to do it correctly.

So when he finally figured out they were deliberately being broken, I asked him how he felt. He said he was shocked at first (“I didn’t know I had any enemies!”) and then mad as he began to take it personally, but then he told himself, “Well, there is no point in being mad. It not gonna help anyway.”

So he just let it go.

Did you hear that? He just let it go. That’s typical Charlie. He’s been like that his whole life I think.

So I asked him, “So you’re not mad anymore? I wouldn’t blame you if you were.”

“No I’m not mad anymore,” said Charlie with a sideways smile, an eye peeking out of his long bangs.

“You know,” I said, “…maybe the other kid was jealous of you and that’s why he/she broke your artwork.”

Charlie chuckled in agreement and said something to the effect of,” Yeah, I figured that I might as well believe that…it makes me feel better.”

Did you catch the wisdom in this young man? I can assure you that at that age I, personally, would NOT have let go of my anger and disappointment that easily (probably would have cried for days…maybe even weeks!) and I would have made up a story that someone hated me.

Amazingly, Charlie CHOSE a belief that served him. He decided that even though he didn’t know the motive of the perpetrator, he chose to believe a story that served him, rather than one that just kept him mad.

How many of us choose stories that serve us? How many of us remember that we actually co-create  our realities anyway? As a refresher, our realities are composed of: 

The Situation + Our Perspective              

It is the next part of this story that moved me the most. As we were talking, I received a strong intuitive hit as to “why” Charlie was being targeted. He told me he was the only kid who this happened to. Nobody else had their artwork destroyed.

“Hey Charlie, I figured another reason why YOU were the one targeted.” Charlie listened intently.

“Just suppose, this kid that did this is having a really stressful time at home. Maybe her dad is an alcoholic or he gets abused. Maybe the anger has to come out somehow…and Spirit (God) understood that. Of all the kids in that school, Spirit figured that YOU would be able to tolerate the pain and be able to handle it whereas most other kids wouldn’t. So God chose you. Spirit chose you, Charlie, to be the One because she knew you’d be strong enough to handle it. If it were another kid, maybe he’d be so devastated that it would ruin his self-esteem for life. But not you, Charlie, because you have a Gift most of us have to work decades to develop. And you have this Gift naturally. You have the ability to just let go.”

After I blurted this “story” out, I knew it to be true in my heart. At the very least, it would “serve” us to believe it. I was looking into the eyes of a Master who doesn’t know his mastery yet because he is young.

At this point I’m looking into Charlie’s eyes with complete awe and inspiration and he’s beaming from ear to ear.

So maybe if you’re having a hard time in your life right now, is it because God chose you to be the One, just like Charlie? Would it help you to believe that? Are you willing to be chosen for this job? And will you transform the negative energy of the world’s ills instead of being squashed by it? Charlie does it naturally.

Bless him!

So what do you choose to believe about your life today?

Tell me what you think of this blog post by commenting below. Thanks.


Dr. Karen Kan

PS. By the way, Charlie said his teacher decided to lock up his artwork from now on after class! (You don’t have to keep taking abuse. One can be practical too you know!)

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