Dear Dr. Karen
I cannot help it, but I am a hebephile. That means I am only attracted to young women from 18 to 24. All my life my relations (6 with the last one counted) began to be intimate when my partner was 19. The last relationship just ended. All my former partners have become friends. Now I am 65 soon and my last girlfriend of 24 is ready to start another relationship without me.
At my age, with legs that can hardly carry me, from accidents 8 years ago, is it still possible to find a new young woman I can give my love to in exchange for her trust and intimacy?
By the way did you know that the father and mother of reggae star Bob Marley had 41 between them, he was 58 and white and she black and 17 years, just like me and my last girlfriend. This to illustrate that age and race are not an issue with me.
Alexander
Dear Alexander,
I’m not quite sure why you’re asking me whether you can find another young woman to have a relationship with since you’ve been fairly successful at attracting them in your past. It sounds like you’re doubting that you can because of your disabilities – is that it?
It is good to hear that your former girlfriends have all become friends. It sounds like there is genuine love and respect there. Congrats!
One thing that caught my attention is your belief about giving your love in exchange for trust and intimacy. You may wish to listen to the Blog Talk Radio interview I did with Neale Donald Walsch on the subject of romantic relationships. It isn’t about an “exchange” of anything if I can paraphrase. Instead it is about giving the biggest YOU you can give in a relationship.
Old paradigm relationships are about exchanges. I’ll do this for you if you do that for me. I’ll be sexually faithful to you if you’re sexually faithful to me. I won’t smoke/drink/gamble if you promise to love me, etc. The new paradigm of relationships isn’t about these “trades” or exchanges at all. It is about being fully who you are – being fully in your divine, an offering your love unconditionally.
So it matters not how old you are or how well you can walk, but about how much of your presence and love you can give to another.
Blessings to you,
Dr. Karen Kan
