Categorized | Dear Dr. Karen (Q&A)

Dear Dr. Karen: Can I change my future or is there such a thing as destiny?

Posted on 20 July 2009 by Dr. Karen

Dear Dr. Karen,

I would like to know if we can change the future and destiny or it is all written and decided. I went to a psychic that is well-known in my hometown. I don’t really believe in these things but the things she said to me are things she could not have guessed in any way.

My boyfriend and I were having problems at the time and she told me that I would look back one day and see him as my first love and that I will met somebody else that I will love even more. This was years ago and I am still with my original boyfriend and we are engaged, but I am terrified of getting married since I already know it will end.

If she hadn’t told me so many other things about my life then I probably wouldn’t believe what she said. Now my question is that since she could see into the future various things that would happen which has happened and various things in my past that happened this must mean that everything is already been written and we have no free will. Everybody say we have a choice and create our own destiny but if that was the case how can she see things? I love him so much but can’t be happy knowing I will lose him one day.

Kind regards.


Dear Marie,

I’m SO glad you asked this question. So thank you!

What I am going to share is MY understanding and perspective on the subject as taught by many of my teachers. Please take into consideration that it is only my understanding and interpretation. If you read it and it resonates with you, great! If not, then don’t believe me.

This is a crash-course on how the world of energy works (according to Dr. Karen).

First of all, everything is energy (repeat after me: everything is energy!). If you’re a fan of New Age science movies, then you’ll know from What the Bleep Do We Know that there is no such thing as time. All possibilities are happening simultaneously. However, our attention is on ONE particular “reality”.

When a psychic or intuitive does a reading, she/he is able to read the “future” by reading the energy field that is in alignment with or is based on your CURRENT energy frequency.

There is plenty of scientific data proving that so-called psychic phenomena exist and in fact you may wish to read The Field by Lynne McTaggert. You can be just as “psychic” with the training and practice. It isn’t so mystical afterall.

So a psychic or intuitive READS energy. An energy healer, on the other hand, MANIPULATES the energy. And an intuitive healer does both. This I learned from Laura Day (

To answer your question more specifically: the psychic gave you a reading based on the current reality you were in with your boyfriend at the time of the reading. That’s all.

At any point after the reading, you may shift into a different REALITY and she has no control over that. That’s where the CREATION comes in. When your dominant vibration shifts to a different level (higher or lower) you can literally jump to a different or as they say in Star Trek, alternate Universe. Of course in Star Trek, they have only two alternates, but in truth we have umpteem realities possible.

What that means is that although having a psychic reading maybe fun and helpful, you are certainly not BOUND by destiny to experience ONE particular outcome. You still have the choice to intend an experience that you desire. That being said, many believe we do come into this earth with what is called a soul contract. Our soul contract is what we intend to experience in this lifetime (again lifetimes being concurrent realities as opposed to sequential). So if your soul contract is to experience forgiveness, you’re co-created realitie(s) will be imbued with opportunities to learn and experience forgiveness. But there may still be thousands of possibilities within that “destiny”.

One of the reasons I don’t necessarily hire a psychic but will exchange intuitive readings with my trained colleagues is that some psychics will share information with you that is not necessarily for your highest good. At least in my training with Laura Day, we just didn’t just reveal what we “saw” indescriminantly, eg, “You’re uncle is going to die in April.” but we’d give the information that would be helpful to the person eg. “It would be a really good time to resolve any conflict you have with your uncle and really connect with him within the next three months. You may need to be a support to your family at that time.” etc.

Some psychics, and certainly not all, really like to show off what they know in order to impress you and keep you coming back. My preference is not so much that people get great readings on their past to prove the psychic is good, but instead get valuable information that they can then USE in their present lives that benefits them.

A good way to check out whether or not the psychic your seeing is grounded enough to help you is to observe their life and their business. Do you admire what they have? Are their relationships rich and rewarding? Do they have abundant resources? Are they growing spiritually?

See what I’m getting at?

So the result (although unintended) from your psychic reading is that you’ve been in a state of worry for years. You’ve been unhappy in your relationship for years because you’ve been afraid of losing what you have! But guess what? You haven’t been PRESENT in your relationship for years, so it probably puts you at higher risk of losing what little you have!

See how sometimes visiting a psychic indiscriminantly can be harmful if you don’t know beforehand what your intentions are?

Now, I’m not bashing psychics because I have friends who do the business. I’m just saying that in your case, it was not helpful and certainly has been harmful.

So here’s my advice. Let go of YOUR perception that the psychic is 100% right about your future. In my opinion, that advice is currently NOT serving you. And by the way, at least the way I was trained, it would have been more helpful for her to have given you a “due date” for her prediction.

So Marie, start LIVING your life in the PRESENT and enjoying your boyfriend!  From this moment, right now, you are co-creating your life with spirit/The Universe. So long as you hang onto the notion that you cannot change your future, you will be right! That’s the law of attraction at work!

So the best way to proceed is to choose the thoughts and beliefs you have wisely. If believing that your destiny is written in stone is SERVING YOU and you are happy, then by all means, choose this. But if believing that you can co-create your life and that your future is NOT written in stone feels more joyful and happy, then choose this!

Nothing has meaning except the meaning you give it. I’ve just given you my personal “choice”, my “belief”, but it doesn’t mean you have to buy it..

You choose. What serves you the most?

Dr. Karen Kan

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