Dear Dr. Karen: Can I Use the Law of Attraction to Attract a Specific Person?

Posted on 19 April 2009 by Dr. Karen

Hi, Dr. Karen.

I’ve done a lot of reading about the Law of Attraction, including the Master Key System and several other books on the topic. I basically understand the topic and have actually used it with success. Now I’ll get right to the point.

I’m a single dad (widowed a few years ago). There is a woman that I totally and completely love. I’ve known her for several years, but she has always been totally indifferent to me. She”s ”nice” to me, or maybe closer to ”cordial,” I suppose, but I’ve never picked up any serious signs of interest on her part. Please don’t think that I’m too scared to ask her out; I’m not. The problem is that I really don’t feel that she would respond positively because I’m supposedly not her ”type.” And further, if I did ask her out and she declined, which I suspect that she would, it would make it that much harder to ever ask her again.

I understand that the Law of Attraction can help someone to find their proper mate, but here are my questions:

1. Will the Law of Attraction assist in winning the love of a *specific* person?

2. By trying to win this specific woman, am I making the mistake of trying to dictate to the Universe the woman I want? In other words, am I trying to specify HOW a wish will be granted, i.e. specifying her?

By the way, she isn’t in another relationship of any kind as far as I know.

Any help is greatly appreciated!



Firstly, congratulations on taking the effort to study how to harness the Law of Attraction and the Master Key System! and secondly for having success with it. Anyone who truly wishes to master anything needs to learn and practice, learn and practice etc. over and over again.

OK, let’s get down to your questions right away:

1. Will the Law of Attraction assist in winning the love of a specific person?


Yes, if that person is a vibrational match. No, if they are not. Too often than not when I get this question, it is fairly clear that the attraction is one-sided and the person asking the question is hoping to someone “change” the mind of the other party. Although we can affect others with our thoughts, we cannot change their free will.

2. By trying to win this specific woman, am I making the mistake of trying to dictate to the Universe the woman I want? In other words, am I trying to specify HOW a wish will be granted, i.e. specifying her?


Most of the time I discourage people from spelling out who they want because it does severely limit your options and the Universe’s creativity and gifts in giving you what you truly want, which is an attractive loving partner. If both partners truly wish to be together but one is “unavailable” right now, then the Law of Attraction can be harnessed by both partners to visualize the end results of them being together happily.

In your situation, specifically, I would advise against setting your intentions on this specific woman. If you’ve been getting the “cordial” shoulder, it is likely that she isn’t interested. The intention of asking her out when your intuition tells you she isn’t interested, would be to validate your intuition! not to hopefully get a positive response from her.

The more important question is this:  Have you wondered why you are interested in a woman who isn’t interested in you? Has this happened before in your love life? Even when you were five years old perhaps?

By attaching yourself to this particular woman, you are giving the signal to the Universe to send you more women that aren’t interested in you! That’s definitely NOT what you are looking for. And by attaching yourself emotionally to having to attract THIS particular woman, you are acting out of scarcity as opposed to abundance.

Imagine hundreds or thousands of equally attractive women who DO want to go out with you. Why would you hang onto this one?

Let her go.

Focus your attention on what you want who is someone with the qualities she has PLUS an equal interest in you. Your story reminds me of the time I went out with a man who I thought was equally interested in me. Although in our case we were both attractive to each other, I made the mistake of thinking he was equally ready to jump into a serious relationship.

Whooops! Nope, I was wrong!

He won’t admit this, but after one week, he “ran away”. He wasn’t ready. And I was “blind” to the red flags: he’d never been in a long term relationship for more than one year (and only one at that!), he never called me after our first “date”, etc.

I was angry and upset for a while, but knew I’d get over it eventually. Now we are just friends. Apparently, he is still single and hasn’t experienced a satisfying relationship yet… but I have my dream partner.

Time is too precious to waste on someone who isn’t interested. Do yourself a favor – see yourself as too valuable to waste time on this woman. There isn’t anything wrong with her. She just doesn’t resonate with you. Move on.

The blessing of this situation is that you can USE the attraction and energy you feel towards her to FUEL your visualizations and embodying (Chapter 3 in my eBook) to manifesting your DREAM partner!

You deserve someone who adores you!


Dr. Karen Kan

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