Archive | April, 2009

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Interview: Relationship Expert Marcia Martin

Posted on 27 April 2009 by Dr. Karen

Relationship Expert, Marcia Martin

Relationship Expert, Marcia Martin

Join us Monday April 27th at 12 noon EDT (www.timezoneconverter.com) for Law of Attraction in Love Radio!  The call-in number is 347-945-6313.

This week’s guest is relationship expert, Marcia Martin who I absolutely LOVED when I listened to her at All Your Relations Intensive in November hosted by Peak Potentials Training.

Marcia revealed some things I certainly was never taught about a man-woman relationship and I remember writing furiously in my notebook all the “gems” she had to share! Since then, James and I have been using them (at least I have consciously) and they work!! Really, really well! So you are in for a treat!

Ms. Martin was one of the original founders and the Senior Vice President of est (Erhard Seminars Training, now The Landmark Forum), the largest self-improvement educational company in the world, and is one of the Founding Members and Board Member Emeritus of The Transformational Leadership Council. She is considered to be a pioneer of the Human Potential Movement, and has been a trainer, thought leader, and coach in the personal development industry for over 30 years.

She has trained over 150,000 individuals worldwide, specializing in teaching transformational communication and leadership. An expert on the Law of Attraction, Marcia was instrumental in organizing many of the interviews for the film phenomenon, The Secret. Since 1980 she has also been the CEO of Marcia Martin Productions, an international consulting and training firm, and as it’s primary facilitator, personally leads Transformational Training Programs In public speaking, leadership development, time management, communication skills, relationship skills, and spiritual fulfillment.

Marcia has most recently created a transformational media company,
Wombat Network (World One Media for Breakthrough And Transformation), which utilizes the most leading edge digital technology to create media platforms for transformational thought leaders, producing life-altering, world-changing media, films, and programming for the world.

Please join us Monday! If you can’t, at least you can listen to the archive of the show.

Blessings,

Dr. Karen Kan

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Dear Dr. Karen: He Said He Never Loved Me After 8 Months of Being Together!

Posted on 19 April 2009 by Dr. Karen

Hi Dr. Karen,

I came across your website while finding a solution to cope with my relationship woes. I have read up on the law of attraction and watched the documentary ”the secret” previously and have applied the premise in my life and have found relative success in my career and physical appearance.

However, my love life has been less than fulfilling. I have not been able to meet my idea man. However, last August, I met a good idea man. He was very nice,attentive and caring to me but out of a blue moon, he told me that he has no feelings for me and has never liked me in our 8 months relationship. I tried to reason with him how could he have no feelings for me when we have spent so much good times together for the past 8 months and i sensed that he truly has some feelings for me. He denied it and said he only sees me as a buddy. He asked me to give up on him and to move on and that he would never never like him. He severed off all sources of contact. He told me it would be dishonest of him to patch-up with me when he does not love me.

I am now trying to move on. And I am going through difficult times. I can sense that he did love me but he seems very firm now that he has never loved me and wants me out of his life.

He makes me feel so rejected and unlovable. It seems that I am living in an illusion of my own. I am wondering if there’s anything wrong with me as I have always experienced romantic rejection and guys always turn me away completely without giving me chances of redemption or considering dating me after they realised my profound feelings for them. It is very absurb and hurtful to me. My self-esteem is totally bruised.

What should I do Karen? Please help me, I am feeling very depressed. How could I make someone likes me?

Regards
Jessie

Dear Jessie,

I can feel your pain and sadness and I feel for you. No one likes to get rejected, and this is probably a huge shock to you having been together this long with someone. You might be unwilling to trust your judgment after this painful experience or you might be tempted to close your heart to future love in order to avoid pain.

Here’s the thing. You manifested this man into your life to abandon and reject you. Yup. Sounds awful doesn’t it? You’re probably wondering to yourself, WHY would I do that?

Well, you aren’t doing it consciously. Because this is a repetitive pattern in your romantic life, it tells me that this issues has deep roots in your unconscious patterning from childhood. You are re-enacting a childhood situation that you may not be aware of. Who in your childhood repeatedly rejected you or abandoned you? It could be your mother, your father, or anyone who was dear to you.

Or did you witness this in your family of origin? Did you mother abandon your father or vice versa?

You see, you are ONLY attracting men who will eventually reject and abandoning you. The way you harness the law of attraction is to make sure you do the following:

1. In creating your wish statement for you ideal partner you MUST include that this person loves you equally and is available for you. See Chapter 1 and 2 of my eBook for details.

2. You must get to the bottom of your unconscious beliefs and relationship blueprint so that you can heal it…otherwise history will repeat itself.

I highly recommend you get some individual counseling or coaching to work with you on this. It is near impossible for us to “see” all of our unconscious programming without outside help.

I am confident that once you get started on working on healing yourself through personal work with a skilled counselor or coach, you will naturally start attracting a whole new set of men who WILL love you and adore you as much as you adore them.

Do whatever you need to do to feel good about yourself. Stay connected to friends and family who support and love you. Allow yourself the time to grieve and heal and see if you can keep your heart open to new possibilities. You have the control to your destiny. It isn’t about “them” (the men), it is about YOU and your vibration. By changing your internal programming (your vibration), you will change your entire life.

My prayers and blessings are with you, my dear.

Dr. Karen Kan

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Dear Dr. Karen: Can I Use the Law of Attraction to Attract a Specific Person?

Posted on 19 April 2009 by Dr. Karen

Hi, Dr. Karen.

I’ve done a lot of reading about the Law of Attraction, including the Master Key System and several other books on the topic. I basically understand the topic and have actually used it with success. Now I’ll get right to the point.

I’m a single dad (widowed a few years ago). There is a woman that I totally and completely love. I’ve known her for several years, but she has always been totally indifferent to me. She”s ”nice” to me, or maybe closer to ”cordial,” I suppose, but I’ve never picked up any serious signs of interest on her part. Please don’t think that I’m too scared to ask her out; I’m not. The problem is that I really don’t feel that she would respond positively because I’m supposedly not her ”type.” And further, if I did ask her out and she declined, which I suspect that she would, it would make it that much harder to ever ask her again.

I understand that the Law of Attraction can help someone to find their proper mate, but here are my questions:

1. Will the Law of Attraction assist in winning the love of a *specific* person?

2. By trying to win this specific woman, am I making the mistake of trying to dictate to the Universe the woman I want? In other words, am I trying to specify HOW a wish will be granted, i.e. specifying her?

By the way, she isn’t in another relationship of any kind as far as I know.

Any help is greatly appreciated!

Anonymous

Anonymous,

Firstly, congratulations on taking the effort to study how to harness the Law of Attraction and the Master Key System! and secondly for having success with it. Anyone who truly wishes to master anything needs to learn and practice, learn and practice etc. over and over again.

OK, let’s get down to your questions right away:

1. Will the Law of Attraction assist in winning the love of a specific person?

Answer:

Yes, if that person is a vibrational match. No, if they are not. Too often than not when I get this question, it is fairly clear that the attraction is one-sided and the person asking the question is hoping to someone “change” the mind of the other party. Although we can affect others with our thoughts, we cannot change their free will.

2. By trying to win this specific woman, am I making the mistake of trying to dictate to the Universe the woman I want? In other words, am I trying to specify HOW a wish will be granted, i.e. specifying her?

Answer:

Most of the time I discourage people from spelling out who they want because it does severely limit your options and the Universe’s creativity and gifts in giving you what you truly want, which is an attractive loving partner. If both partners truly wish to be together but one is “unavailable” right now, then the Law of Attraction can be harnessed by both partners to visualize the end results of them being together happily.

In your situation, specifically, I would advise against setting your intentions on this specific woman. If you’ve been getting the “cordial” shoulder, it is likely that she isn’t interested. The intention of asking her out when your intuition tells you she isn’t interested, would be to validate your intuition! not to hopefully get a positive response from her.

The more important question is this:  Have you wondered why you are interested in a woman who isn’t interested in you? Has this happened before in your love life? Even when you were five years old perhaps?

By attaching yourself to this particular woman, you are giving the signal to the Universe to send you more women that aren’t interested in you! That’s definitely NOT what you are looking for. And by attaching yourself emotionally to having to attract THIS particular woman, you are acting out of scarcity as opposed to abundance.

Imagine hundreds or thousands of equally attractive women who DO want to go out with you. Why would you hang onto this one?

Let her go.

Focus your attention on what you want who is someone with the qualities she has PLUS an equal interest in you. Your story reminds me of the time I went out with a man who I thought was equally interested in me. Although in our case we were both attractive to each other, I made the mistake of thinking he was equally ready to jump into a serious relationship.

Whooops! Nope, I was wrong!

He won’t admit this, but after one week, he “ran away”. He wasn’t ready. And I was “blind” to the red flags: he’d never been in a long term relationship for more than one year (and only one at that!), he never called me after our first “date”, etc.

I was angry and upset for a while, but knew I’d get over it eventually. Now we are just friends. Apparently, he is still single and hasn’t experienced a satisfying relationship yet… but I have my dream partner.

Time is too precious to waste on someone who isn’t interested. Do yourself a favor – see yourself as too valuable to waste time on this woman. There isn’t anything wrong with her. She just doesn’t resonate with you. Move on.

The blessing of this situation is that you can USE the attraction and energy you feel towards her to FUEL your visualizations and embodying (Chapter 3 in my eBook) to manifesting your DREAM partner!

You deserve someone who adores you!

Blessings,

Dr. Karen Kan

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Getting Help With the Law of Attraction With This Simple Software

Posted on 17 April 2009 by Dr. Karen

Hey, I just found a really cool program I want to tell you about. First, let me ask you a question: 

Be honest – which of the following phrases have you said to yourself, after studying a ton of self help materials?

*  “Does the Law of Attraction work or doesn’t ?” 
*  “Why is this not working for me ? ” 
*  “Why I’m not getting the results that I truly deserve ?”

If you ask yourself these questions from time to time, then continue reading this page Attractor Genie because you’ve already spent far too much time doing what doesn’t work!

You will learn about the Secret Software behind the law of attraction that will organize all you dreams, goals and actions into a working plan.

Attractor Genie represents a focused and structured approach for practicing and applying the Law of Attraction.

==> Check out the Attractor Genie Program

Here are just a few of the many things Attractor Genie can “train” your mind to do…

–>  Create a life plan(mind map).
–>  Uncover and remove ALL your limiting beliefs in a flash!
–>  Banish negative thoughts, for good!
–>  Create a list of powerful affirmations.
–>  Effectively visualize your goals and desires.
–>  Create a Vision Board.
–>  Keep a Gratitude Journal.
–>  Create Subliminal Messages.
–>  Create Sticky Notes on your desktop to remind you about
your goals.
–>  and much more…

I’m not sure how to convey just how powerful this software can be for you.

The principles you’ll learn by using the Attractor Genie Software will tell you exactly how to alter the experiences you are getting by working from the inside out.

As for what you can achieve with these steps….Anything you can imagine! The truth is, there are no limits,  other than the ones in your own mind.

Here’s how the software works: Attractor Genie Program
Blessings,

Dr. Karen Kan
PS: Attractor Genie Software is changing lives worldwide. Will yours be next ?

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Need A Smile? Watch This Video of a Train Station Transformed!

Posted on 12 April 2009 by Dr. Karen

You need to a flashplayer enabled browser to view this YouTube video

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Dear Dr. Karen: My Family Is Pressuring Me to Just Find “Anyone” But I’m Waiting For My Soulmate

Posted on 12 April 2009 by Dr. Karen

Dear Dr. Karen,

My questions is how do I stop other negative people from getting me down. I’ve been working very hard to accept myself and to find happiness within myself before I can attract my soul mate. But my sister and friends constantly pressure me to go out there and just find ”someone”. I just don”t want to settle with someone, I want to find ”the one” and I’m just not ready yet. I feel that this is something very difficult for them to understand, but what can I do to block this external negativity from hindering my progress?

Thanks,

Ali

Dear Ali,

I can empathize with your situation. Often those close to us can’t understand why we don’t see things the way they do. They are coming from an old paradigm that you no longer resonate with. I have a few suggestions for you to help you cope.

Allow your friends and family to have their point of view without criticism. Just accept that they are coming from a different vibration – a vibration of scarcity “there isn’t enough so hurry up and find one soon!” In allowing them their point of view, it doesn’t mean sitting there passively and letting them nag you. You can be assertive. You can tell them when they start in,

“I understand where you are coming from. I can feel that you have my best interests at heart and I appreciate that. That being said, I also cannot do what doesn’t feel right for me. Just like I wouldn’t want you to do something I’d want you do to if it didn’t feel right for you, I hope you can understand. Thank you for your loving concern. I can feel your love for me.”

When you read what I just wrote, how does that feel to you? Can you imagine what that would feel like (in your own words and with genuine emotion) to your loved ones? Understand that they aren’t trying to control you because they like controlling. They are trying to get you to do what they want you to do because they are scared for you and are projecting that fear onto your life. You don’t have to fall prey to it. You just want to understand the core of why they are doing it and understand that their intentions are good.

Despite your best efforts to state where you stand, lovingly and compassionately, if you are still getting “advice” from all sides and you feel overwhelmed, then it may do you good to take some space from these well-meaning friends and relatives. That means not “hanging out” with them as much.

I remember a time when every time I called my mother, my perception was that she was criticizing me. This was during medical school where I was stressed out from lack of sleep and a ton of homework. Believe me, I had no energy to be understanding or compassionate to her criticism! So instead I stopped calling and when she criticized me for that, I explained to her that I’d rather call her because I wanted to rather than because I felt obligated to. She didn’t like that very much, but after a while she got the hint and our phone calls became much more supportive and enjoyable.

One of the “risks” of changing yourself or growing yourself to a new level of consciousness or higher vibration is that often our old friends and our families don’t come along for the ride. We end up leaving them behind energetically. Understand that that is a natural progression and although it is sad at first, you will be making room for many, many more friends that WILL support you and see your VISION for your grand future. See if you can work on being OK with “losing” your old friends because they no longer serve you and vice versa. Eventually, you just don’t keep in touch as much. It is a natural and not necessarily violent transition. The FORM of your relationship just changes.

You are the one that needs to let go of their approval and their attention. Once you are no longer attached to your friends being your only friends any more and are open to newer friends who you resonate with, you will find a world of loving support waiting for you.

Blessings,

Dr. Karen Kan

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Post Your Profile on the Law of Attraction in Love Singles Network

Posted on 06 April 2009 by Dr. Karen

If you haven’t done so already, please post your profile on my free Law of Attraction in Love singles network: www.lawofattractioninlove.ning.com

In filling out your profile, I coach you through the first couple of important steps to manifesting your dream partner. When you take the time to reflect and fill in the answers to these questions, you are literally sending out an “order” to the Universe using the Law of Attraction.

After you’ve set up your profile then go to mine and click Add As Friend!

See you there!

Blessings,

Dr. Karen Kan

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Dear Dr. Karen: How Can I Get My Husband to Stop Connecting With Other Women?

Posted on 03 April 2009 by Dr. Karen

Dear Dr. Karen,

I want to know how make my husband less interested in other women.  He chats on the net all the time and I found out that he has been telephone calls with two women but I am sure he hasn’t cheated on me yet.  This knowledge is hurting me – the thought that he doesn’t love me or find me as attractive as before. He didn’t think of anyone else before. Please tell me what to do, but don’t tell me to tell him since he will know that I am spying on him again, and he will get away from me more. How do I use the law of attraction in my case? I have a 5 year old daughter that he loves very much. He loves me I know but may be not like before.  I don’t know what to do. Please help me.

Talin

Dear Talin,

It sounds like your husband has caught you spying on him before. He probably feels you don’t trust him. If you don’t trust him, why should he be trustworthy? You do not have the power to control your husband and that is what you are wanting to do. You cannot make him less interested in other women. What you CAN do is work to become more interested in HIM and more INTERESTING to him. No guarantees of course!

He may be attracted to other women because they are perceived as being interested in him. All of us are naturally attracted to others who see us as beautiful and wonderful. It can even be intoxicating to have admirers.

If you’ve chosen not to tell the truth about your spying, you have a couple of choices. You can continue living in deceit by continuing to purposefully spy on your husband or you can come clean and start on a new page. If you decide to continue spying on him, it is unlikely that your energy will shift to the degree that will be attractive to him. Even if he doesn’t know you are spying on him, his energetic body can sense the mistrust coming form your energetic body and he will become less and less attracted to you.

If you either share with him what you are doing and let him know that you are sorry and that you did it because you were terrified of losing his love, he may understand and forgive you. It is up to him. Stop spying on him and work on creating a more emotionally intimate relationship with your husband.

Good relationships are based on truth. Both of you have developed habits that create distance as opposed to intimacy. At least you have control over your actions. By trying to control him, you are pushing him away. I’m not saying you should do nothing because that clearly is not helpful either.

What you really need to do is address and share with your partner your underlying fear of losing him. Share with him that you are afraid that he is finding you less attractive and may be more interested in other women. Share with him that you are afraid he will leave you and your child. Don’t expect him to be truthful necessarily, but at least you can stop holding secrets that will undermine your relationship. Ask him what you can do to be more attractive to him. Listen carefully. See if anything he says resonates with you.

I can tell you a couple of ways you can start treating your husband so that he is more attracted to you:

1. View him as your hero and tell him so. When my partner James does something that I won’t or can’t do – like move a bunch of logs or climb up onto the roof and scrape snow off it – I give him lots of hugs and kisses and appreciation and tell him he’s my hero. He feels very good and masculine and it is very fun.

2. Every day for the next 30 days, tell him what you appreciate about him at least once a day, preferably more. AND

3. Refrain from criticizing him. Instead if something is bothering you, share how it makes you feel rather than criticizing.

Example: “John, how many times do I have to ask you to take out the garbage? Can’t you remember anything?!!”

versus

“Gee John, I’m noticing myself feeling frustrated that the garbage is still here after you agreed to take it out. I really don’t like feeling this way and I don’t want to feel angry at you. I’m not really sure what to say or do about the situation. Do you have some suggestions?”

Granted the latter requires some practice to master. Believe me, I’m still working on it…I have to THINK carefully before I open my mouth sometimes! But you know, it is really worth it!

You will see results in less than a week. Mostly it occurs in less than 24 hours if you are genuinely trying.

I sense there are some major relationship blueprint issues that have caused you to co-create this uncomfortable situation. I would highly recommend you get some personalized one-on-one coaching or counseling. This is not a quick fix. But I hope my suggestions have been helpful to you.

In summary: the best way to change the situation is to change yourself (your behavior)

Warmly,

Dr. Karen Kan

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Dear Dr. Karen: How Can An African Woman Use the Law of Attraction?

Posted on 03 April 2009 by Dr. Karen

Dear Dr. Karen,

Thank you for all your newsletters and for teaching me about the law of attraction. My question is: how can I, as an African woman, apply this law of attraction to my life?

Israa

Dear Israa,

The wonderful thing about the law of attraction is that it is like the law of gravity: it shows no favorites! It doesn’t matter whether you are African or Asian or Hispanic – anyone can practice harnessing the law of attraction to magnetize more of what they want into their life.

The interesting thing about your question is that it feels like you have a preconceived idea that harnessing the law of attraction would be more difficult given your ancestry. Is that true? Be honest.

If it is true, you have then been given a gift! Why? Because you have now identified a LIMITING BELIEF that you have that may be blocking you from manifesting what you want. It is similar to someone who thinks they are too fat, too old, too young, or too ugly to be able to manifest their soulmate or dream partner using the law of attraction.

Whatever you believe, you will conceive. In other words, if you believe that being African makes it harder for you to attract your perfect mate, then you will co-create THAT reality in your life. If you believe it will be harder, it WILL be harder.

My ex-husband had a long-held believe that the type of person he wanted as his new partner didn’t exist. He wanted an Asian “mountain” woman. In other words, he wanted to be with another Asian woman who was feminine and attractive but was at the same time “tough” and willing to “rough it” in the woods even it it meant no running water or a toilet. (Guess what, I was DEFINITELY not a mountain woman. I tried for years but made myself miserable and sick trying. I’ve gone back to who I really am: A Princess! Ha ha)

When I confronted my ex-husband about his beliefs, as did some of his best friends, he conceded to let go of his non-supportive belief that his ideal woman didn’t exist. Within a month or so, he met a beautiful Asian woman online that met all his criteria!

So my suggestion to you is to let go of the belief that your race has anything to do with how well you can manifest your dream partner. You are a valuable loving human being. That is enough.

Blessings,

Dr. Karen Kan

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