Archive | February, 2009

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Overcoming Negativity – Dr. Judith Orloff

Posted on 28 February 2009 by Dr. Karen

 Judith Orloff MD, bestselling author and UCLA psychiatrist, invites you on a

remarkable journey where you can embrace more happiness and mastery over

negativity than you may have ever known. Our world is in the midst of a

meltdown. She describes how to stay intuitively and spiritually centered in our

times.

Dr. Orloff celebrates the exciting launch of her new book: “Emotional Freedom:

Liberate Yourself from Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life” (Harmony).

She is treating you to an incredible book launch one time offer with special

gifts from Judith and others such as Dr. Christiane Northrup, Dr. Bruce Lipton,

Dr. Michael Beckwith and more!

Go here right now and get the details to purchase book and for your special

gifts:

http://drjudithorloff.com/emotional-freedom-promotion

In “Emotional Freedom” Dr. Orloff states:

“I’m presenting the unique process I use with patients to view emotions as a

path to spiritual and intuitive awakening (not EFT). I synthesize traditional

medicine with energy medicine to offer you new tools to master emotions and

become heroes in your own life. Inner peace leads to outer peace in the world.”

Publisher’s Weekly’s review of “Emotional Freedom” says this:

“[Dr. Orloff] regards emotions as a training ground for the soul, and views

“every victory over fear, anxiety, and resentment as a way to develop your

spiritual muscles.””

“Emotional Freedom” has rave reviews from Deepak Chopra, Dr. Candace Pert,

Christiane Northrup MD, Caroline Myss, Dean Ornish MD, and Mary Oliver,

Pulitzer Prize winning poet.  They call it “Spectacular,” “A must-read,” “A

heartfelt, accessible guide,” and “Resolutely compassionate.”

In the book, you will discover:

* Four questions to transform fear with courage

* What is your emotional type?

* How to stop absorbing the emotions of others

* How to combat emotional vampires with compassion

* The spiritual meaning of depression and hope

Purchase book and claim gifts at:

http://drjudithorloff.com/emotional-freedom-promotion

If you’d like to liberate yourself from negative emotions, and compassionately

own the moment in all situations instead of simply being reactive…

Immediately go here for:

http://drjudithorloff.com/emotional-freedom-promotion

Blessings,

Dr. Karen

P.S.  Nelson Mandela said:  “As we are liberated from our own fear, our

presence automatically liberates others.”  Help liberate others and share this

announcement with them. 

For more inspiration and information visit http://www.drjudithorloff.com

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Interview: Arielle Ford, Author of Soulmate Secret

Posted on 28 February 2009 by Dr. Karen

Monday March 2nd is a very special day. It is the day I get to interview Soulmate Secret author Arielle Ford on the Law of Attraction in Love Radio Show. Soulmate Secret has been endorsed by multiple teachers from The Secret and her message and mine jive together like peanut butter and jelly! So for those of you reluctant to pick up a copy of my eBook because it isn’t in a hardcover, then at least pick up a copy of her book, Soulmate Secret.

Here’s your chance to call in LIVE to speak with Arielle Ford Monday!

Monday March 2nd at 12 noon EST New York USA (www.timezoneconverter.com)
Call in number: 1-347-945-6313

If you just want to listen online or want to download the recorded show, just go to www.blogtalkradio.com/drkaren. This is a show you don’t want to miss!

Dr. Karen Kan

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Dear Dr. Karen: I Always Attract the Wrong Type of Person!

Posted on 28 February 2009 by Dr. Karen

Dear Dr. Karen

I always seem to be attracting the wrong type of person into my life. And the guys that do find me attractive and come into my life are just not right for me. I have tried the law of attraction and watched the secret of a million times but it just doesn’t seem to be working. I just don’t know what’s wrong with me.

Being single has now become the norm for me because after a few dates it just never seems to work. I doubt it’s the way I look because I’m comfortable with the way I look so I just don’t know why I’m still single. I think I have practically everything in my life except the one thing that I want the most and that is someone who I can love. So please, how do I go about achieving this?

I’ve been looking for someone to help me out on this one, please be that person!!!

Many thanks,

JoJo

Dear JoJo,

I hope you were there listening to my teleseminar last week because I dealt with this issue in detail. JoJo, there is nothing wrong with you. You are attracting the same “unattractive” guys to you because of your conditioning/programming from childhood. When we are young and most impressionable, we learn how relationships are supposed to be from the people we interact with the most as children – our parents, school teachers, relatives etc.

Our beliefs are formed from childhood experiences – what we hear, see and experience – and create an unconscious “blueprint” that tells the Universe what kind of person to bring to us. For example, if someone told you at age five that being too smart would drive the boys away, you would unconsciously deny your intellectual talents for fear that no one would be attracted to you.

It is not always easy to “see” our childhood programming without some sort of guidance and a lot of intentionality. In your case, I would highly recommend some serious study on the topic of relationships and some coaching or counseling.

People often make the mistake of thinking that good relationships are supposed to “happen” automatically. Well, they don’t. We have to LEARN how to have a good relationship. I don’t know about you, but in my school, there was never a course called, “Love Relationships 101”!

The law of attraction in manifesting your dream partner includes putting energy in developing your relationship skills. If you’ve watched The Secret and have been diligent in using the seven steps to manifesting from Creating Your Fairytale Love Life, then all it means is that The Universe is waiting for YOU TO BECOME the kind of person you wish to manifest.

If you had a tall wish order like I had, then the Universe will wait until you’ve GROWN to a level of maturity to make that relationship a success.

And please don’t think everyone you’ve dated is a waste, just because it didn’t work out. Think of dating as a personal growth experiment to learn more and more about yourself and to hone your relationship skills. My colleague, Sandi Sain, dated hundreds of men before she was truly READY to manifest her dream partner Bob. And she doesn’t regret one single date! She appreciates them all for what she learned about herself!

So be patient. Learn to see the beauty in everyone you meet, even if they aren’t your perfect match. When you can appreciate everyone for at least one quality, you will begin to vibrate at a level that matches your desires.

Blessings,

Dr. Karen Kan

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Dear Dr. Karen: Arranged Marriage vs. Sexual Attraction

Posted on 16 February 2009 by Dr. Karen

 Dear Dr. Karen,

If you could help me out it would be really wonderful. I am a 25 year woman from a conservative family in a country whose custom is arranged marriages. Up to this point, I can honestly say, that I haven’t found my dream love.

Nevertheless, for the past couple of years I’ve been extremely attracted to a male colleague at work. I cannot explain my “craving” for him. He isn’t the most handsome man, but I feel myself drawn to him almost uncontrollably.

We have been “just friends” until recently when we actually kissed. Now, he wants sex but I’m feeling he only wants a physical relationship just to enjoy the moment. I’ve said no for a number of reasons, including the fact that have have so little in common and he doesn’t fit into my “ideal” partner.

Moreover my perception is he is not physically attracted to me (I know where I stand from a man’s point of view. I am heavily built, can say in completely out of shape) and wonder whether men can have relationship even if they are not attracted towards the female?

So far, the men my family has offered to me to do not interest me, and I can’t stop thinking about the attraction I have for my colleague.  Unfortunately, I believe he does not really care for me and wants me just for sex. I feel that he isn’t the “right” person for me to marry, yet I’m still jealous when he’s with any other woman. How can I let that go?

I cannot discuss this with anyone, least of all my family. Please guide me. Thanks in advance.

 

Regards,

Newla 
 

Dear Newla,

I can understand your predicament. I hope I can be of help. Given your relative “inexperience” with the opposite sex, let me share with you what I sense is going on in your situation. You are experiencing strong sexual attraction with your male colleague and that isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but let me qualify what I mean. Since you have never been attracted to anyone up to this point, the sexual attraction you feel is an ENERGY that is new and exciting to you. The benefit is that you can now “memorize” this feeling as part of what you’d desire in your future mate without necessarily being in relationship with your colleague.

Newla, there is so much more to match-making than sexual attraction. Many people mistakenly label the sexual attraction as something more than what it is. The energetic pull they feel can be so strong, they can convince themselves that the other person is their “match”.

You, however, are conflicted and rightly so. Your intuitive self has “warned” you that you do not feel cared for by this man. So what you are attracted to is purely sexual attraction – the polarity (opposites) between the masculine energy and the feminine energy (read David Deida’s books).

Your situation reminds me of a colleague that I knew at a teaching institution where I worked. He wasn’t particularly good looking, but women fawned over him. In fact, I was told he had had several affairs. And it wasn’t long until I felt that sexual pull towards him as well. He didn’t treat women very well, but he flirted very well and knew exactly what to say or do to get your attention.

Even though at the time, I was struggling with my marriage and fantasized some days about being with this colleague, it was his daily lack of thoughtfulness or courtesy towards me that put up a huge red flag that said, “NOT THIS ONE!” And thank goodness I respected those flags! What I discovered was this: the more self-esteem I had for myself, the less I “wanted” him.

That being said, it was still “fun” to have this colleague flirt with me on occasion, but the boundaries were very clear. It was “fun” to feel sexy and feminine around him. And he made all the women feel that way, whether they were fat, skinny, pimpled or otherwise “unattractive”. It was his “gift” to us women. And yes, just because you don’t think you fit into an ideal, the right men WILL find you attractive! You must see yourself as attractive before you will manifest the “right” man. 

So see if you can just take NOTE of the sexual energy you feel and log it into your memory banks under: “this is the energy I’d like to have with my future ideal partner” and leave it at that. If your self-esteem is strong, you will realize quickly that this colleague of yours does not have your best interests at heart and you will naturally be able to let go easier and easier.

You don’t have to get yourself all angry and upset over him because he knows no better…and in fact, the “ploys” he uses only gets you hooked over and over again!

Think of him as a child who is playing a game to see if he is worthy. If he can get you into bed it must mean he’s worthy (in his mind). He’s not a villain, really. He just isn’t what you are looking for. But you can still use the ENERGY you feel as an ingredient in your laundry list of wishes for your ideal partner.

The jealousy you feel is all part of the way he hooks you back into him. Other women can get hooked too. See if you can respect your intuitive guidance to stay away from him and start focusing on what you REALLY want. Instead of wishing he would change, imagine that he will never change and move on. It will take practice not to get hooked in again.

In fact, if you feel too susceptible, it would be advisable to spend as little time with this man as possible. Spend your energies instead on manifesting your dream partner. Go through the first three chapters of Creating Your Fairytale Love Life and create your partner from scratch AND while you’re doing that, make sure you include the ingredient you desire which is sexual attraction.

This colleague has given you a gift already. He has awakened your sexual center – a necessary step in your personal growth journey. Rest assured that you will feel it again with someone – someone with whom you share common values and dreams and someone who loves you for the person you are (and not just as a sex object).

Be patient.

Do your homework. Make your list and follow the steps of harnessing the law of attraction, and just TRUST the Universe to give you your dream partner.

Blessings,

Dr. Karen

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Dear Dr. Karen: I’m Unhappily Married – I Seek Someone to Give Me the Love I Long For

Posted on 06 February 2009 by Dr. Karen

Dear Dr. Karen,

I am married but unhappy. I constantly seek for someone to come into my life and give me the love i long for.

Azlin

 

Dear Azlin,

 

First of all, I can empathize with your situation. I was there once. Unlike you though, I couldn’t even admit to myself I was unhappy in my marriage. I was blind to it. It wasn’t until I met a man who was everything my husband was not, that I began to consciously question the quality of my marriage.

 

So believe me when I say – you’re ahead of the game!

 

Azlin, what I’ve come to learn is that if you expect someone to fill a void that you have, you will be sorely disappointed in the outcome. It is not possibly for someone to GIVE you the love you long for. It is an illusion. The truth is that we absolutely CANNOT receive what we cannot give. It is part of the law of attraction.

 

There is nothing wrong with longing to feel loved. Been there, done that. However, what I’ve discovered (and many teachers have talked about) is that the “other” person in the relationship is only a reflection of the LOVE you have for yourself. In other words, if you cannot love yourself fully when you are without a partner, you cannot possibly attract a partner that loves you fully either.

 

You need to work on self-love. How loving is it to force yourself to suffer an unhappy marriage? How loving is it to pretend every day of your life? How loving is it to keep yourself scared of moving on and moving forward with your current relationship?

 

And let’s talk a moment about your ability to love another. Guess what? Your ability to give love is limited by your degree of self-love. You cannot give what you do not have.

 

How loving is it to lie to your spouse (in essence by seeking someone else while in relationship to your spouse without telling him/her)? How loving is it to prevent your spouse from possibly moving onto a relationship that would be more fulfillling because you are too scared to let go of him/her?

 

Please don’t take my questioning as harsh. These are questions that I had to grapple with when I was choosing my path while I was unhappily married. When I told my husband that I could no longer stay in our current relationship and that I’d dreamed of being with someone else (I was sobbing uncontrollably when I told him), one of the first things he asked was,

 

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

 

What he meant was, “Why did you string me along for all these years when you were not happy? Why did you pretend? Is our whole relationship a lie?” etc.

 

In my defense, I thought I was “protecting” him from the awful truth. I was “protecting” him from being hurt. In the end, I hurt him more by keeping the truth from him. Why? Because I literally tricked him into believing we were “OK” so that I didn’t have to face his (and my parents’) negative reactions to the TRUTH. The reality was that I WAS BEING SELFISH BY STAYING IN THE MARRIAGE AND PRETENDING.

 

In fact, I had to get a serious illness before I could finally face the truth.

 

I hope it doesn’t come down to this for you. I went through a lot of pain. I’m sure you’re probably going through a lot too.

 

Here’s the good new – you don’t have to.

 

You have a CHOICE. You can be REAL and AUTHENTIC and have the courage to face whatever lies ahead OR or you can live the rest of your life pretending and full of obligation.

 

Your choice.

 

I know. It isn’t easy.

 

But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. When you do your own personal growth work and have the courage to take 100% responsibility for your own happiness, you’ll find that what is best for you ends up being what is best for the other person (even it if doesn’t seem like it at the beginning).

 

My ex-husband is now in a relationship with a lovely woman who is his match. They have an amazing little daughter and I can truly say he is much much happier than he ever was married to me.

 

I highly encourage you to get some counseling or coaching as soon as possible. You need the support.

 

Blessings,

Dr. Karen Kan

 

 

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Delicious Dating for Women Over 40

Posted on 06 February 2009 by Dr. Karen

As each month passes,  I’ve connected with more and more wonderful relationship and dating coaches, teachers and authors. Why? Because of the law of attraction! Yes, “what you focus on grows”. And the great result of all that connecting is for me to be able to share with you some of their wisdom as well as my own. I don’t want you to just learn from me. I don’t have “dibs” on relationship coaching or the law of attraction.

What I do want for you is to benefit from as many great teachers as possible. Many of us have walked in your shoes before. We’ve laughed, cried and gotten angry in relationship. We’ve had joy and we’ve had sorrow. And most of all, we’ve learned a heck of a lot from our trials and tribulations and now wish to share our experience, knowledge and value with others so that they can experience the joy of connecting deeply in a loving relationship!

So I hope you’ll understand when I enthusiastically share with you “new” teachers that you can benefit from. Whether you decide to learn from them or not is up to you. Listen to your heart. I’m not attached, either way.  

That being said, I do want to introduce to you a very special woman. She is known as the DATING GODDESS. She has a huge following of women over 40 who are either actively dating or re-entering the dating scene for the first time. If you are currently in a similar situation, I highly recommend you read her blog!

I have to be honest with you. Don’t ask me to coach you when it comes to dating. I’m clueless. I never really formally “dated”. It sounds strange coming from a law of attraction relationship coach such as myself, doesn’t it? My first husband was my one and only “boyfriend” before we got married. Yes….I was a wall flower! Very shy when it came to men (until the last few years anyhow!)

So I have very little experience when it comes to dating.

But the DATING GODDESS, on the other hand, is a perfect teacher for those of you who really want to know “how” to date. Now, if you’re a guy and your reading this, I don’t want you to feel left out. I’m working on getting a GUY dating expert for you too! It’s just going to take me a bit of time!

OK, back to the DATING GODDESS. I can’t tell you her name. It’s a secret. But one of my best buds is friends with her, so she’s for REAL. She just released a series of books called Adventures in Delicious Dating after 40. They are focused on helping women over 40 (to help them find Prince Charming).

Here’s some more info:
The Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40 series is the encyclopedia for those dating again in midlife. It’s the guide for those who haven’t journeyed down the dating path in a while.

You’ll see how having an embracing and curious attitude can turn virtually any encounter into an interesting adventure —  and even if it’s not, there’s a lesson for you. You’ll see how you can embrace this time in your life as an opportunity to meet “treasures” even if those men don’t turn into romantic relationships.

This series of books are full of lessons, stories, insights and advice from a fellow midlife woman — the Dating Goddess — who dated 91 men in 3.5 years after her 20-year marriage dissolved.

The Dating Goddess gives you the scoop on what you need to know, what’s changed since you last dated, and how to navigate inevitable bumps in the road. She’ll help you embrace dating in midlife with a sense of adventure and encouragement, even when you don’t meet Mr. Great on your first date — or maybe even first dozen dates.

Dating again after a long absence can create fear and trepidation. The Dating Goddess helps you understand what to expect with midlife dating through her stories of her experiences and epiphanies so you can experience dating with your eyes and heart wide open. You’ll learn how to attract interesting men and avoid those who aren’t interested in you.

Since the last time you’ve dated, some things have changed, others haven’t. Learn what to expect from someone who has approached reentering the dating pool with verve, humor, and a unique perspective. You’ll enjoy your “date” with these books, learn some new things, reinforce others, and get started on your journey with vigor.

Read about each Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40 title:

  • Date or Wait: Are You Ready for Mr. Great?
  • Assessing Your Assets: Why You’re A Great Catch
  • In Search of King Charming: Who Do I Want to Share My Throne?
  • Embracing Midlife Men: Insights Into Curious Behaviors
  • Dipping Your Toe in the Dating Pool: Dive In Without Belly Flopping
  • Winning at the Online Dating Game: Stack the Deck in Your Favor
  • Check Him Out Before Going Out: Avoiding Dud Dates
  • First-Rate First Dates: Increasing the Chances of a Second Date
  • Real Deal or Faux Beau: Should You Keep Seeing Him?
  • Multidating Responsibly: Play the Field Without Being A Player
  • Moving On Gracefully: Break Up Without Heartache
  • From Fear to Frolic: Get Naked Without Getting Embarrassed
  • Ironing Out Dating Wrinkles: Work Through Challenges Without Getting Steamed

Buy yours today! Discount for multiple copies or titles ordered.

If you want to know what the DATING GODDESS is like, follow her blog. I’m SURE you’ll find her not only informative, but incredibly entertaining. Enjoy! Here’s the link:


Dr. Karen’s link to the DATING GODDESS

Blessings,

Dr. Karen

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