Sonya

Dear Sonya,

YES, YES, YES! Sonya! You can use the law of attraction for anything! And using it consciously to create a successful relationship is both spiritual and enjoyable. By consciously creating a relationship (and not being in a relationship by default) is one of the most highly fulfilling ventures anyone could experience.

One of the easiest things you can do is to regularly and openly appreciate your partner for who they are and how they add joy to your life. Thank him generously and never take him for granted. See him as a blessing in your life. Even if he makes mistakes, and he will, understand that he is human and focus not on what you don’t like, but on what behaviors you do like.

It is easier said than done, let me tell you!

But it works like a charm. Sometimes if James my dream partner is doing something I don’t like or approve of, I sometimes keep it to myself so I can spend some time examining why it has triggered me. Usually it is an old relationship habit from my childhood or former relationship. I can then later express my triggers to him without making him responsible for how I feel. And then I focus on appreciating him for what I DO LOVE about him.

Do I forget sometimes and just get annoyed?

Yup.

But I’m human too. I just catch myself, forgive myself and try again. That is what personal growth is all about. It isn’t about right and wrong or perfection. It is about growing yourself bigger and expanding your happiness zone!

Blessings,

Dr. Karen Kan