Archive | April, 2008

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Are You 100% Responsible for What Happens To You?

Posted on 21 April 2008 by Dr. Karen

I posed this question to Lynne McTaggert, author of the Intention Experiment. Lynne was interviewed for the movie The Secret but didn’t make it on the final edit. Same goes for my teacher, T. Harv Eker. Interestingly, Lynne said that when The Secret was released in the UK, where she lives, one of the major criticisms was that it gave the impression that you create your reality – no ifs, ands, or buts…and if something went “wrong” in your life, you were the cause of it.In my ebook Creating Your Fairytale Love Life, there is a chapter I refer to as “advanced integration” where I discuss, at a deeper level, why we may not be able to completely control our destiny and our manifestation. Lynne and I are in agreement with regards to our abilities to fully manifest everything we want in our lives: we are not alone – we are part of a bigger Universe, and although we have influence through our intentions and wish-setting, we need to see the bigger picture.

When something bad happens to you, it isn’t your “fault” (what a nasty word!). Yet, at the same time, you have responsibility over how you react to the situation and how you judge it. You may attract negative things to you if you think negative thoughts over and over again during the day (what Lynne calls the “rest” of the 23.5 hours of the day you are not setting your intentions), however, some people attract unwanted circumstances for other reasons.

A perfectly “positive” person may attract cancer to herself because in the global picture, she is due to experience compassion and love from others (something that she may not have experienced fully in her past). Other people’s mindset can also influence you, so be conscious of who you choose to spend your time with.

The stronger your energy field, the easier it is for you to manifest what you want and the greater impact you have on other people. I’d like to also note that the stronger the energy field that you have is dependent on how much practice you have at training your mind to vibrate at the frequency you desire. According to Lynne McTaggert, her research shows that Qi gong and energy masters very easily manifest what they want because they have had lots of practice at it.

Although I’m far from an energy master guru (who can bend spoons and change their body temperature ten degrees within minutes), I have experienced influencing a group of people with my energy. It is a wonderful thing to be able to radiate love and to shift an entire room of people who then easily follow in that vibration.

Recently, I left a business networking group that I was president of in order to train my skating. As president of the group, we had seen unprecedented growth of our group. I was the top referral member and our attendance was excellent. Not soon after I left, numbers began to dwindle and instead of growing, the group has apparently broken into factions. No one is very happy. Obviously the group could not sustain the energy without my presence (I’m not being egotistical here) and also, I realized that I could not influence the group long enough for it to be self-sustaining much to my disappointment.

Bottom line: be a light onto this world – be responsible for your choices and your reactions and at the same time understand that you don’t have total control of manifesting your life because you are part of a greater whole. We are all one.

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Photos of Adult National Competition With Dream Partner, James

Posted on 12 April 2008 by Dr. Karen

Photos Courtesy of Bob Ewell Photography, LLC

Karen (Kan) Guenette & James Gann on the iceAdult Silver Pairs Podium Photo 1Adult Silver Pairs Podium Close-Up

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Lessons Learned Skating for GOLD at the Adult Skating Championships

Posted on 11 April 2008 by Dr. Karen

OK, for those of you who have been following me for some time, you know that yesterday was the “day of truth” for me as James, my dream partner, and I took to the ice for our first ever skating competition…and it was a National Competition! For days, I witnessed so many thoughts come and go. I rejoiced that I no longer felt attached to skating well for others. In the past, I was so scared of failing and diappointing my friends, my supporters, my family etc. This time around, that was gone…amazing – I had grown.

Consciously I had asked for the best possible situation for us and everyone we are connected to, and by the next day, I woke up in a bad mood. James and I felt sooooooooooo disconnected – it was so foreign, I couldn’t even describe it to you. I thought to myself, “Dear Universe, how is this bad mood and disconnection gonna help us win the gold medal??”, but the other part of myself said, “just trust it – you are getting your wish”. By the middle of the day, we processed the discomfort and felt EVEN closer than before. We had made it through a brief moment of intense discomfort…and survived! The learning was that I can now tolerate this degree of separation and understand that it is only momentary…what a gift to learn this valuable lesson!

The morning of the competition, I kept letting go of attachments. Of course I wanted us to skate perfectly and win the gold medal, yet I reminded myself to let go of attachments. It was hard. I think it was harder for James as he had never competed before. I was following my own advice – intend an outcome and then let go. We watched the movie Peaceful Warrior the night before our competition to help us remember the lessons of being in the moment….

Thursday morning, I woke up and realized I had hives all over my shoulder – the one I had been nursing with therapy. I laughed. Even though I was itchy (and obviously allergic to my muscle cream!), I knew that this “problem” was not going to set me back! James and I had a good warm up on the ice. Scores of friends had come to watch us. I felt so blessed, and at one point I felt the Angels fly into the building to take their place among the seats to support us. I shed a tear of gratitude. Finally it was our turn to skate.

We skated with passion and intensity. We were flawless….for the first half of the program. Then we made an error on a lift and almost went down. We had to downgrade the lift to a half rotation. Then I really had to focus. “Stay in the moment” I told myself. Every move, I skated with intensity…barely aware of how James was doing…only that I was sending him love, support and encouragement. Our footwork sequence was WOW and received huge applause. The rest of the program was pretty strong…until the end. I fell on my death spiral. No, it wasn’t my sore shoulder this time that was the cause. I have no idea why I fell. Still, we finished with bows, curtsies and waves to the audience in great appreciation for their support. We got off the ice like champions. If you saw us exit the ice only,without having watched the program, you would have thought we skated perfectly!

So, although disappointed in our performance somewhat because of the errors (and James was not successful in many of his jumps), we didn’t stay in disappointment very long. I reminded myself to stay in gratitude. Hoards of people came up to us (people we didn’t even know) and congratulated us on the most entertaning program they had watched at Nationals. I sat back, opened my heart and received. Instead of being negative and downgrading the appreciation, I just practiced receiving and saying THANK YOU! everytime we received a compliment.

Twenty minutes later, while we were cheering for our fellow team members in the next event, we received word that we had WON GOLD! We were surprised, yet also not surprised. We had intended gold, of course….we just never knew we could win even though we skated with so many mistakes….

I realized the lessons The Universe was attemtping to teach me. You see, my personal growth for the last few years has been about letting go of perfection. The Universe wanted to reinforce to me that I do not have to be perfect. I can be absolutely flawed and still get what I wish for. The other lesson I learned was that I push too hard. Had we skated perfectly, I would probably have pushed James to take five more skating tests over the next year to compete one level higher (the gold pairs skating level). Luckily, since we still have yet to put a clean program together in competition, my “pushiness” disappeared. We’ll stay at our level for another year and get more experience. I learned that I don’t always have to push for bigger and better. I can be patient.

The other lesson I learned was that I was very tempted to blame James for some of the mistakes and vice versa. There was a bit of that going on, but we stopped fairly quickly. Blaming didn’t serve us. Heck we won anyway didn’t we? I learned how EASY it is to slip into negativity….so quickly too! So I observed my critical nature, and forgave myself. Anytime a critical thought came up after that point, I just let it pass. I didn’t open my mouth…I just contained it and let it go, not giving it energy to thrive.

You can’t control your negative thoughts, but you can choose not to give them any energy.

I have lots more to tell you, but it will have to wait until my next radio show. I’ll share with you the tools I personally used to attain the “win” that we received. Thanks to all of you who wrote in wishing us good luck on the competition!

Until then,

Blessings,

Dr. Karen Kan
P.S. when I get a chance, I’ll post a photo of us :O)

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FEAR. What To Do With It

Posted on 03 April 2008 by Dr. Karen

I think this will be my last post before our adult national figure skating championships next week. Today we had a challenging day on the pair sit spin, one of the most difficult elements for adult pair skaters. FEAR came up. What if we can’t do it at nationals? It’s not consistent.  Should we take it out? We haven’t decided completely what to do yet. I think we’ll muscle test for it (later on what that is) to see whether we do an easier spin or not.  Our coach REALLY wants us to do the easier spin because it looks stronger, but on the other hand, no other team can do a pair sit spin well and we’d like to be the first.

My sense is that James felt bad about giving up the sit spin. We had it a few times two weeks ago, then it disappeared.. are we stupid to try it in a stressful situation like a competition when it isn’t working? or would we feel worse not “going for it”?

Anyhow, my friend Marie, told me about FEAR and faith. It was so it was so inspirational, I thought I’d make it into a t-shirt…I’ll let you know what we decided to do next Thursday when we skate. Please send positive energy our way! Thanks!!

Dr. Karen Kan

FEAR... and FAITH shirt
FEAR… and FAITHbykguenette
Get this custom shirt at Zazzle

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The Benefits of “Falling Down”

Posted on 01 April 2008 by Dr. Karen

James and I had our skating choreography lesson yesterday to polish up our Adult Nationals pair skating program. All I can say is “wow”. It was incredible. By the way, if you listened to the radio show yesterday, you’ll understand me when I say that I “practiced” some of what I spoke about yesterday.You see, during our skating program run-through, I took a nasty fall. In skating, we call it a “face plant”. Luckily my face did not hit the ice and I was afraid my shoulder was really going to hurt, so I was a bit stunned. But it was half way through the program.

I got up – noticed by body was still working (ha!) – and kept going in the program! In fact, I skated rather fiercely thereafter, like a warrior. Good thing our program is a jungle number and not the Nutcracker ballet!

We finished strong. Why am I telling you this? It is because yesterday, I spoke about the power of making up a story that serves you whenever things happen to you that you might find unpleasant. That nasty fall I had yesterday was a great example of how I turned an unwanted circumstance into a positive…

How possibly could a nasty fall be in my best interest? Well, our choreographer/coach realized that James completely stopped skating to come help me get up (which is exactly what you DON’T want to do in competition or a show!). The sweetheart was helping me, yet, he wasn’t supposed to. He stopped skating and didn’t even do his jumps. A professional would keep skating until his partner caught up to him.

Here’s where I make up a story about my fall. Instead of being upset at falling and making a mistake, I’m glad it happened (now instead of competition certainly!) You see, we learned a valuable lesson – just keep going when you fall down and trust that the other person will catch up! The person that “keeps going” is keeping time to the music and will show the person who fell behind where they are in the program so they don’t get lost.

Wow, without that fall, we would never have known that James would do the “wrong thing”….he just acted out of his kind nature. We felt very blessed that we had the opportunity to learn this lesson. So I’m a bit bruised, but heck, I’m happy. Our program was skated with energy and intensity…

OK, let’s move on. If you were one of the 66 people who listened to yesterday’s show – THANK YOU! It was awesome for me and loads of fun. Please feel free to give me feedback in the comment box on the website: www.blogtalkradio.com/DrKaren.

Since I didn’t get to answer all the wonderful questions I received this week, I will be doing an extra show tomorrow, Wednesday April 2nd at 12 noon EST (GMT-05:00). Next week there won’t be a show since that’ll be the week were are at the skating competition (and I’ll be getting last minute healing and massage therapy appointments!).

Feel free to join me on the show if you can. Oh, by the way, I’ve had a couple of people ask me about one-on-one coaching. I do, indeed, do one-on-one coaching. Unlike counseling appointments, the focus is on getting you into action and getting results. There is a fee for private one-on-one coaching (which includes private email responses) as I’m sure you can understand that my time is very valuable, as is yours. I can only take about 10 clients max right now given my current schedule. If you are interested in private coaching, please go to my coaching page at http://lawofattractioninlove.com/?page_id=5.

However, if you aren’t interested in private coaching, I can answer one major question for you on my newsletter, blog or radio show, so that everyone can learn at the same time. If you haven’t already, drop me a line about the three biggest problems you think you have regarding manifesting your dream love partner – that would be great!

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